Coming Home
by edward5953
Summary: Bella and her daughter Lilly comes home after 5 years when she left suddenly. Will everyone accept what happened to her and understand why she left. Will the crush she has had on Edward since High School grow into something more and will he help
1. Chapter 1

As I reached my father Charlie's house, the place I had grown up in for as long as I can remember, I, for some unknown reason, thought of my mother. My mom Renee didn't want to be tied down with a child and a husband in the rainy town of forks so she left us when I was very little.

It's been a long time since I have been here and no one knows why I had left five and a half years ago; not even Charlie, my own father. Now with the reason in the backseat, my adorable daughter Lilly, everyone will know and I wonder how I will handle that. I guess only time will tell. I was so ashamed of what I did that I didn't want anyone to judge me so I left to live with my cousin Angela in Phoenix.

It was right after I had graduated from high school. My best friends, Alice, Jasper and Edward, had graduated with me. Emmett and Rosalie had graduated the year before and had already left for college but came back for our graduation. I had always had a major crush on Edward but I really don't think he even noticed me besides being his sister Alice's best friend. He always said he wasn't going to get involved with any girls since he had to concentrate on his studies; after college there was medical school. But I heard he had quite the one night stands. So there would be no way he would be interested in me back then since I was a plain, ordinary, mousey girl who has a lot of insecurities thanks to my mom.

I went to a party a few days after my graduation and everyone was there including Edward. All the pretty gorgeous girls were all around him and he loved it. I saw him hook up with this girl Tanya and they were making out like crazy and I couldn't blame her because Edward looked so hot. All I could do is stare at him and Tanya and wishing it was me with Edward and not Tanya.

A couple of guys came over to me, totally drunk, trying to talk to me and convince me to try one of their concoction drinks. I really didn't want to but they kept on talking about Edward and Tanya because they saw me staring at him. They told me that I would never be good enough for him and both of them were totally interested in me and told me how beautiful I was and how they wanted to get to know me. I finally took their drink and went for a walk with one of them. I should of known something was off with this guy but didn't really care because he was the only one who was paying attention to me.

He took me for a walk behind the house to a guest house on the property. It really was a beautiful piece of land the owners had. I was in awe of the landscaping but I really was trying to distract myself from the unknown that was about to happen. The drink he gave me was starting to take effect and I was feeling really good and buzzed. I had a bad feeling they spiked it with something but wasn't sure. When we got to the guest house I was looking around and noticed how beautiful it was.

He really seemed like a decent guy and I drunkenly thought that maybe we could get to know each other. I really wished I was with Edward but then I remembered who he was with and that he would never be with me that way. I thought at least this guy was interested in me and I should give him a chance. He said his name was Tyler Crowley but I didn't remember him from school. He kept on telling me how beautiful and smart I was and how he always liked me from afar. Once we got settled on the couch he started feeling my breasts and groping me and while he was doing this he was telling me how much he loved and cared about me. As I look back at that all he was doing is telling me what I wanted to hear. We ended up having drunken sex which wasn't pleasurable at all and I tried to fight but then the liquor was kicking in and I didn't have the strength. It just didn't feel right at all. As soon as he was done he fell asleep and I escaped from there as soon as I could. I felt so embarrassed and ashamed and was thankful I could escape without going through the house again.

I got out of the car wanting to forget all that had happened and get my daughter out of the backseat to go see her grandpa. I really have missed Charlie a lot and I hope all goes well.

As I knocked on the door I was feeling very nervous because I didn't know how Charlie would accept Lilly and I being home after leaving for all that time. Charlie answered the door and he was so excited he hugged me so tight and said, "Bells I missed you so much." I told him I missed him too and then we all went inside the house. Once inside the house Charlie bent down to Lilly's level and gave her a hug and said he was her grandpa and was very happy to meet her. Lilly giggled and gave him a kiss on his cheek. Charlie was never an emotional person but Lilly definitely got to him because I saw a tear fall down his face.

We sat at the table and got some Lilly some juice and we had some tea. We talked for a while about our trip and how I got the job at Forks High School. I told him that when I was staying with Angela she helped me out a lot and I was able to get my degree in English and I am now the new English Literature teacher. That was the main reason I came back to Forks. But more importantly, I missed my family and friends and Lilly needs her family in her life.

Lilly started to yawn so I took her and our bags upstairs to my old room. It didn't look like much had changed: same old walls and purple comforter. I gave Lilly a bath and changed her into her jammies and she went right to sleep. I went back downstairs to tell Charlie that I was going to bed also since I had a long drive. He understood but before I left I said, "Dad thanks so much for letting us stay here. I am not sure if we will fix up the guest room for Lilly or I should look for my own place but I appreciate you letting us stay."

Charlie said," Bells you can stay as long as you like. I would love you and Lilly to stay and Sue would just love Lilly to death but I won't push you. I really would like to know what happened but I will wait 'til you are ready." I nodded in understanding and left to go upstairs and try to sleep with the love of my life, my daughter Lilly.

The next morning I got up early because I really couldn't sleep anymore and thought I would get up and make some coffee for Charlie before he left for work. As the coffee was finishing Charlie came downstairs surprised to see me up.

He said, "Bells what are you doing up so early."

"I couldn't sleep Dad and I thought I would make you some breakfast."

I cooked Charlie some eggs and toast to have with his coffee and he asked what my plans were for the day. "Well," I said, "I have to get Lilly set up for Kindergarten at Forks Elementary School and then I have to go to Forks High School to get paperwork done. Do you need me to do anything for you?" Charlie said that Sue wanted to come over and see me and meet Lilly if I was up to it and have dinner. I said, "Dad that's fine and I will stop at store to pick something up to make for dinner."

Then he said something that made me anxious, "Bells I am not sure if when you left it had anything to do with the Cullens but just to warn you they are back in town. Emmett and Jasper work for the High School too so I am sure you will run into them. Alice and Rosalie own their own business and Edward is starting his residency at the hospital with his dad."

All of a sudden I was sobbing uncontrollably and my dad came over and hugged me. I told him, "Dad…I did something that I was ashamed of and I couldn't face you or them afterward. I know eventually everything will come out but I am scared and nervous how this will turn out I have missed them all so much."

Charlie then said "Bells I am here for you whenever you want to talk and no matter what you did or what happens I will always love you. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I am here for you when you are ready. I am sure all of the Cullens feel the same way and will be here for you also. They always ask me if I have heard from you with care and concern in their voices. Please don't worry about anything and we will all help you, OK?"

After Charlie's speech the waterworks started again until Lilly came down the stairs and wanted breakfast. She saw me crying and she said," Mommy what's wrong? Why are you crying?" I smiled at her. "Oh Lilly I am just so happy to be home these are happy tears."


	2. Chapter 2

Coming Home

Chapter 2

It was the beginning of August so I told Lilly that we had to go get her signed up for Kindergarten. She was so excited to go to school. I had her signed up for preschool when we were in Phoenix and she absolutely loved it. She got along great with a lot of the kids her own age and had a lot of fun.

When we got to Forks Elementary School I went into the office to get the paperwork done. They told me that I needed to supply them with her medical records on what shots she'd had and then they would assign a teacher to her. Once they had the records she could come back for a tour and meet here teacher. I told them I should be able to get in a couple of days and would drop off a copy.

After we were done at the elementary school, we headed over to Forks High School. I was a little nervous, hoping I didn't run into anyone I knew. I walked into the main office and saw that Mrs Cope was still working here. She looked up and saw me and said, "Bella Swan, how nice to see you again. I see you are going to be our new English Literature Teacher."

"Hi Mrs. Cope I am here to fill out my paperwork for starting next month."

She handed me everything that I would need and I went over to a table to fill them out. I told Lilly, "Baby I need you to be real quiet for Mommy so she can fill out these papers for her new job."

"OK Mommy but can I color in my coloring books?"

"Sure Honey let me get them out of my bag." I set them on the table and she started to color.

As I was finishing up the paperwork I heard a loud voice coming down the hall and I recognized that voice as Emmett Cullen. I was hoping he wasn't coming into the main office but luck was not on my side as he strolled in. He was questioning Mrs. Cope about the gym equipment that he ordered for the new school year. He turned around and noticed when he noticed me, his eyes widened and yelled, "Bella is that you?"

I turned to look at him and he ran over and gave me a great big hug and lifted me off the floor. I had missed him so much and all of a sudden I heard Lilly crying, asking me if I was ok. "Lilly baby it's okay. This is an old friend of mine. Lilly meet Emmett Cullen, Emmett this is my daughter Lilly."

At this point I had picked Lilly up and she was hiding her face in the crook of my neck. Emmett had a goofy expression on and made Lilly laugh. Emmett then said, "Hi Lilly it's a pleasure to meet you. I am sorry if I scared you but I haven't seen your mom in a long time and I really missed her"

Lilly giggled and said "Hi". Then she wanted to get down so she could go back to coloring.

I then started to explain to Emmett that I was starting at the school as a English Lit teacher next month and was filling out paperwork. A big smile came on Emmett's face and said, "That is awesome Bella. Jasper and I both work here and we will get to see you every day. I teach Physical ED and Jasper teaches History and we both coach the football team. I can't wait to tell everyone I saw you."

My face got pale and scared and then Emmett had a worried look on his face. "Emmett I am glad to be back with my dad and all my friends that I have missed so much but I'm just not ready to talk about my disappearance yet. Please tell everyone to give me some time and one day I will be able to explain. Okay?"

"No problem Bella we are just glad you are back and we have missed you too."

"I appreciate that Emmett and do tell everyone I am back and I want to see them I just have to get things settled. I am not sure if I will be staying with my Dad or trying to get my own place after working a bit. I do have to get going though because Sue Clearwater is coming over for dinner tonight to see me and meet Lilly. Apparently her and my dad have been dating. Here is my cell phone number that you can give to everyone." I gave him my cell number and we said out goodbyes. As I was walking back to my car I told myself that went better than I thought.

As Lilly and I headed to the grocery store I was thinking about seeing Sue again. It was good that my dad was seeing someone so he wasn't all alone and I had always liked Sue. Now she will be not just Sue Clearwater she will be my dad's girlfriend. It feels so weird. It's always been me and Charlie for so long; until I decided to leave him. As I was pulling into the parking lot my cell phone rang but I didn't recognize the number.

"Hello?"

"Bella Swan" someone yelled and I knew right away it was the little pixie-AKA Alice Cullen whom I heard is now Alice Whitlock.

"Hi Alice," I said as I heard her rambling off a mile a minute.

"Bella I can't believe you are actually here. When Emmett just called and told me you were back I thought he was playing one of his jokes on me and then I realized he wouldn't do that about you so I decided to call you to hear your voice for real. Why didn't you call us to tell us you were coming back. I can't believe Charlie didn't tell us."

"Yes Alice I am back here in Forks. I'm going to be working at the high school as an English Lit teacher and that's where Emmett saw me. I lost my contact information for everyone and I didn't even know all of you were back in Forks. I asked Charlie not to say anything to anyone because I just don't want a lot of attention now. I am trying to get my life together and I think it was fate that the only job offer I got was at Forks so I could be with my dad and my friends that I have missed so much."

"Oh Bella we all have missed you so much. We didn't understand what happened but figured when the time was right you would be in contact with us. We have to get together and catch up on everything. Emmett told me about not pressuring about what happened and I would never do that to you. I know when you are ready you'll tell us and we always will be here for you. Wait 'til my mom hears you are back she is going to flip. She'missed you too." Thinking about Esme brought tears to my eyes. She was the only mother figure I had growing up since my own mom didn't want me. How could she though? There is nothing exciting about me. That's probably why Edward never took to me.

"Alice I can't wait to see your mom also but I have to get going because I'm at the grocery store to pick something up for dinner tonight. Sue is coming over tonight for dinner. I'm a little nervous about seeing her now that she's dating my dad. It's a little weird but I am sure she will make me feel comfortable and I hope she is not mad at me about what I put my dad through when I left."

"Oh Bella, it'll be fine you will see. Sue is a great person and has been really good for your dad. Yes, when you left it was hard on all of us but she would never be mad at you. Call me as soon as you can and we will set something up to get together."

"Ok Alice I will see you later. Wait, Alice can I ask you a question? Have ALL the Cullens missed me as much as you have?"

"Yes Bella we ALL have missed you and if you are talking about Edward, he was a mess when you left like we all were, but don't concentrate on that now. All that's important is that you are back and we can see you all the time now. I am so jealous of Emmett and Jasper because they will see you more than I can." laughed Alice.

"Ok Alice I will call you and let you know when we can get together."

We said our goodbyes and Lilly and I headed into the grocery store. I got all the ingredients for lasagna which I knew Charlie loved.

When we got home I immediately took Lilly up to my room and put her down for a nap. She was so tired from all out trips today. I started dinner and as I was putting lasagna in the oven Charlie walked in the door.

" Hey Bells how was your day?" He asked.

"Very eventful dad, Lilly and I got up and went to Forks Elementary School to set her up for Kindergarten. I have to get her medical records from the shots she has had so she can be assigned a classroom. Then we went over to the High School and I filled out all my paperwork that I needed to do. I ran into Emmett Cullen while I was there."

The look on Charlie's face was worried but I quickly reassured him, "It turned out okay dad. Lilly got a little scared because Emmett saw me and came up and gave me a big hug. Then I told Lilly he was an old friend and she calmed down. I gave him my cell number and told him he could give it to everyone but I am not ready to discuss anything yet."

"Oh Bells, it'll be okay, they're just happy to see you home. Wait to see what happens when they call and take it one day at a time."

I giggled and told him, "Alice already called and wants to get everyone together at her parents' house. Dad, to be honest Edward Cullen intimidates me because I have always had a crush on him and I still have feelings for him. I don't think he ever felt that way about me." And why should he because he always had beautiful gorgeous girls around him, I thought to myself. Why would he want me anyway I am so plain and ordinary. "How am I going to deal with seeing him again?"

Charlie sighed and said, "Bells I always knew you had feelings for Edward. It was there every time you talked about him or he was in the room. Look, I don't know about Edward feelings but I do know he has never found that special person. Anyway he is your friend and he will be there for you like the rest will. When you get together with everyone just stick by Alice and see what happens, you just maybe surprised one day."

The doorbell rang and Charlie ran to the door like he was a teenager in love. I was cleaning up the kitchen a little and I heard Lilly yell for me. I ran upstairs to see her and she was waking up and I told her grandpa has someone he wants her to meet and that she was a very nice lady."

"Ok Mommy I will come down but I have to go potty first." I laughed. She is so cute sometimes.

Lilly and I came down the stairs and I saw Sue Clearwater with a big smile on her face. She ran to me and said," Oh Bella it is so good to see you and we have missed you so much."

I smiled and told her "Thanks Sue, it's good to be back home with my dad. Sue I would like to introduce you to my daughter Lilly. Lilly this is an old friend of mommy's and grandpa's Sue Clearwater," Sue got down on Lilly's level and said, "Hi Lilly, it is great to meet you."

Lilly smiled and said, "Nice to meet you too. At least you are not big and burly and give hugs that lift Mommy off the floor." We all laughed and I explained what Emmett did when he saw me at the high school.

Just then the timer went off for the lasagna and I took it out of the oven. "Dinner is ready" I announced. Everyone came and sat down to eat. We all made small talk while eating and I found out all that went on in Forks while I was gone. It was a nice dinner and evening and I liked Sue a lot for my dad. I know by me leaving and not calling gave him a lot of grief and worry. I did call once I got to Phoenix to tell him I was okay, but calls after that became scarce. I was just dealing with a lot and didn't want to answer a bunch of questions. I felt so bad and guilty in what I did to Charlie and my friends and I started to cry. Sue saw my tears and came over to me.

"Oh Bella, it will be ok. I know you had to deal with a lot and although I don't know the specifics I do know you have grown to be an independent, smart, mature woman. Everything will be fine now because you are back with your family and friends."

As I was trying to calm myself down I said," I know Sue but I have let everyone that loves me down because of a stupid mistake that I am ashamed of. The only good thing that has come out of my ordeal is Lilly."

Sue told me "I know honey but everyone loves you and we all will understand. We all do things at some point in our life that we regret but look at that beautiful girl of yours who is playing with her grandpa. She is having so much fun and that's all that is important."

We finally hugged again and went to join the others. My dad had put in "the little mermaid" in the DVD player and they were cuddling on the couch together. I told myself life can't get any better than this seeing my dad love Lilly so much and that he would do anything for her.


	3. Chapter 3

**I am so glad you are reading my story. I have been getting lots of alerts but no reviews. I would love to know how I am doing. **

**I do not own Twilight or the characters Stephenie Meyers does.**

Chapter 3

The next morning Lilly and I were just hanging around the house relaxing and I was trying to figure out expenses to see if I was going to stay here with Charlie and fix up the guest room for Lilly or try to get my own place. I really felt bad staying here since he was dating Sue now and probably would want his privacy. I would have to talk to him about it. As I was finishing up, the doorbell rang so I told Lilly that I would be right back. She was so excited about watching her cartoons I don't even think she heard me.

When I opened the door and saw Esme and Alice Cullen standing there I felt my eyes tear up and Esme pulled me into a big hug. All I could say to her was "I am so sorry." over and over. All of a sudden I heard Lilly come over to us and ask if I was ok. As we all came into the house I said to Lilly:

"Oh Lilly mommy is fine these are mommy's friends Esme and Alice Cullen. Can you say Hi for mommy."

She hid around the back of me and came around and said a shy "Hi". Esme bent down to her level and told her, "Lilly it is a pleasure to meet you." Lilly just giggled and then ran back to her cartoons.

We sat at the table and I made some coffee as we talked.

"Bella, I know you told Emmett that you needed some time to get things settled but when I found out you were back I just had to see you for myself. We all have missed you so much."

"I've missed everyone so much too and when I found out I had a chance to come home and work at Forks High School I took it. Lilly deserves to be around her grandpa and I missed everyone so much. I also figured it was time to come home and face everyone. I know I shouldn't of left but at the time it was the only thing I could think of. I really can't say any more than that because I'm not ready."

As I was talking with Esme and Alice I saw the love and concern on their faces for me. Sometimes I wonder how these people could care for me so much when my own mother never wanted me.

Esme got me out of my thoughts and asked if all of us could come to their house on Sunday for brunch. I said, "Esme I'm not sure if I can handle that with everyone being there but I will try. I will talk with Charlie about asking Sue also.

I then asked Esme if everyone would be there and she said, "Yes everyone usually comes over on Sunday but I am not sure about Edward. He has crazy shifts with just starting his residency. I do know that if you are coming he'll want to be there because he has missed you too so he will probably switch with someone."

"Esme I don't understand that because Edward never paid me any attention and only knew me as Alice's best friend. I doubt very much he even missed me."

"Oh my goodness, the two of you will drive me crazy. I saw every time you were over how you always looked at Edward and he did the same thing to you. Neither one of you did anything about it. I am not sure how he feels about you now but I do know that when he heard you were back his whole face lit up. You don't realize how special you are."

I was floored by what she was saying because I never saw anything that resembled love in his face when we would talk. I remembered what Sue said about moving on and she was right. I would definitely talk to Charlie about Sunday. I then asked them if they wanted to go to Port Angeles to help get Lilly and I warm weather clothes that we definitely needed for Forks. You would have thought I told them that they won the lottery with the way they were bouncing up and down. Alice started rambling about all the shops she wanted to take me to.

We went to several shops in Port Angeles and got Lilly some new clothes for school, a raincoat and boots. I also got some clothes for myself for my new job. I was very excited about my teaching position and I wanted to show my students the great literature books they could enjoy. When we were done we stopped at a cafe for lunch.

As we were waiting for our food to arrive I told Esme and Alice that I really enjoyed the day and being with them again. I also told them that they needed to give me some time to explain everything that had happened and they nodded in understanding.

A few days have gone by and Charlie and I have talked about staying. He said I could stay as long as I wanted to and we could change the guest room for Lilly. He said even if we decide to get our own place, it will always be there for her in case she sleeps over. We also talked about going to the Cullens on Sunday and Charlie said as long as I was fine with it so was he. I told it was him it was ok but to ask Sue to come too because the more support I had the better.

It was Sunday and I was a nervous wreck. I knew how Alice and Esme felt but I wasn't sure about Jasper, Rosalie or Carlisle. Lilly and I was already waiting for Charlie to come back with Sue. When they arrived we went outside and we all went together in Charlie's car. It wasn't long before we were arriving at their house and Sue turned around, squeezed my hand and said everything would be fine. We knocked on the door and Alice answered it with a big smile. When we walked into the living room everyone got up to give me a hug and meet Lilly. I didn't see Edward yet which was good for now. When everyone backed away the only person that didn't hug me was Rose. I went over to her, "Hi Rose, how are you?"

"Well if it isn't Bella Swan who just disappears one day and no call or any email explaining what happened. She doesn't think twice about saying anything to her friends." everyone then yelled at her for being rude all at the same time. I tried to hold back my tears and then felt Charlie grab my hand and squeeze it. I then said to Rose,

"Rose I guess I deserved that and I was pretty sure you would be the one that would of spoken out. I made a decision back then and felt at the time it was the right decision for me. If you can't forgive me then that is your decision and if everyone here feels the same way then I shouldn't have come today."

"No, Bella, we want you to stay. We don't understand everything yet but we are not mad or upset with you. We are just glad you're back, aren't we Rosalie?" Alice growled at Rose.

"Yes we are definitely glad you are back and we all have missed you very much." said a sweet, velvet voice that could only belong to Edward Cullen. As I turned around to see him I thought I would melt. He looks better than he did in high school if that was possible. I gave him a little smile and he held his arms open to me like he wanted a hug.

I walked over to him and gave him a hug and I felt so different; like I mattered and I was where I was supposed to be.

I looked up into his emerald green eyes and said,"Hi Edward how have you been."

"I'm fine. And how are you? I hear you got a job at our old High School. That is so great because I know you loved to read and you can share your love for the classics with your students. The only unfortunate thing is you will have to put up with my big oaf of a brother every day."

Everyone started to laugh and Emmett had a sour face," Hey don't make fun of "THE MAN!" Everyone laughed and shook their heads at Emmett's silliness.

We all seemed to relax a little bit after that and went into the dining room to eat. We had a nice conversation as we ate and even Rose seemed to be a little better.

I helped Esme clear off the table and bring dishes to kitchen. Esme broke the silence and said, "Bella I am so sorry about Rosalie, she can be very rude sometimes."

"It's ok Esme. She was only speaking her mind and you can't fault her for that."

Just then Rose walked into the kitchen and said to me," Bella I am sorry for being rude but when you left you didn't say anything to anyone of us like we didn't matter. Then you come back and expect us to understand and forgive you. Well it's hard Bella. We were all upset when you left."

I was getting very upset at this point and said,"Listen Rose you have no idea of what I went through or how I feel. Yes I did leave and not mention anything to anyone but I had my reasons. Now I have asked Emmett, Alice and Esme which is the only ones I have seen up to today, to give me time to explain what happened and they were gracious enough to do that for me. Now I am not sure about the rest of you and I am sorry if you feel upset Rosalie, but I am trying to move on from my ordeal and start a new life for Lilly and myself. I need to get some air if you will all excuse me."

I went outside to their backyard it was always a peaceful place that I would love to come to when I was younger. I sat down on the bench they had out there by Esme's garden. I held my head in my hands as I bent over and cried and cried. All of a sudden I felt the bench move and I looked up and saw Edward. He put his arm around me and pulled me to his chest and just held me while I cried. Once I calmed down he said," Bella don't pay any attention to Rosalie; I never do. I am not sure why you left without telling us but I know you had to have some good reasons at the time. It's just when you left and didn't say anything to anyone we were all devastated and we couldn't understand why. I do understand you need time to tell us and we all will give you as much time as you need. We remember you being at that party after graduation and then afterward you were very distant. I tried to ask some people if they knew anything that happened to you at that party and no one knew anything,"

"Of course no one knew anything. I am just a plain ordinary person who no one paid any attention to. Why would you be so concerned about me Edward, you hardly talked to me or paid any attention to me? All I was to you was Alice's geeky best friend, a plain girl back then. I must have been like that my whole life because I wasn't even good enough to keep my mom around."

"Oh Bella you really don't see yourself or anyone around you clearly. You are such a smart, beautiful person and always have been. I was afraid to talk to you in fear of sounding so stupid because I had this big crush on you. I regret everyday not making you understand my feelings and not doing anything about it. As for your mom, she doesn't deserve you in her life. She is the one missing out on a great relationship."

I couldn't believe Edward was saying these things to me. Was he trying to make me feel better or does he really mean it? He looks like he means it in his eyes but how can I be sure? I am so confused right now because I don't know what to believe anymore. I wanted to run and ask my dad to leave but also I didn't want to leave Edward yet.

"Edward this is all very confusing right now but since you are confessing I will as well. I have had a crush on you as well but was so afraid you would laugh at me. You always had pretty gorgeous girls that you hooked up with so there was no way you could be interested in me."

"Oh both of us have been fooling each other and we wasted so much time. I was around those girls not by my choice. They would always flock around me and follow me. I guess I did hook up with some of them only because I knew I couldn't have you and wondered if being with someone else would make me feel better. Anytime I was with them nothing felt right and I just never found anyone who could make me feel alive. Just sitting here with you makes me feel so much better than making out with any of them. Bella I would really like to get to know you better and see you. Do you think we have a chance now?"

I just sat there with my mouth open while he took my chin in his hands and closed my mouth smiling all that time. I then told him, "I will think about everything you told me but right now I have to check up on my daughter. Edward I do come with baggage and I am not just talking about Lilly. I am still broken and I am trying to move on but you may have to have a lot of patience with me. Lilly is very important to me and if you are serious you would have to accept Lilly as well as me."

"Bella your daughter is so beautiful just like her mom and I would think nothing less than loving her also."

"Edward I just need to think things over right now so I can't give you any hopes of a relationship."

"It's ok Bella I understand but would it be alright if I can call you and we can just talk?"

Yes Edward you can call me anytime." I then got up to see what Lilly, Charlie and Sue were doing.

As we went back into the house I saw Charlie and Sue sitting on the couch being cozy with each other and saw Lilly on the floor with Emmett playing with Lilly's Barbie legos. It was such a funny site seeing Emmett playing with Lilly but it also brought a smile to my face. Edward and I started to laugh and Lilly heard us and came running over to me yelling "Mommy Mommy". I picked her up and she was staring at Edward.

"Lilly can you say Hi to mommy's friend Edward?" She then whispered "Hi" and Edward smiled at her and said, " Hi Lilly I have heard so much about you. What are you and Emmett building?" She got all excited and wiggled out of my arms and took Edward's hand and brought him down to the floor with her and Emmett. "We are building Barbie a house because she and Ken are getting married and they need a place to stay." Everyone smiled and laughed at her innocence and then looked at me as I was also smiling. My dad gave me a look as if to say "I told you everything would be ok."

I went over to sit near Esme and Alice and I wanted to ask for Esme's help.

"Esme do you still do interior designing? Charlie and I discussed my living arrangements and we decided to fix up his guest room for Lilly. I was wondering if you could help me with any suggestions. I want to make something special for her since we are trying to start a new life here." You should of seen the grins, smile and excitement from Alice, Esme and Rosalie as I was talking.

Esme then said," Oh Bella we would love to help you we just have to start with a theme and I think Lilly should pick it. We can show her pictures of different themes for kids' room."

"Ok Esme that would be good but just to let you know we can't go overboard because my finances are tight until I start working. My dad said he would contribute some also but please don't go overboard on this I just need some suggestions."

"Ok Bella don't worry about it, I will try and control Alice also." We all laughed and nodded. Rose was then staring at me and felt guilty it seemed. She then said to me," Bella I am sorry for how rude I have been acting today. I really do understand how things can happen and we have to do what is right for us at the time. Someone had to remind me of a situation I had that was not ideal (staring at Emmett). I hope you find it in your heart to forgive my outbursts and let me be your friend again." At this point we all had tears in our eyes and I said to her "Oh Rose you were always my friend. Just because you pissed me off doesn't mean you aren't my friend and I do forgive you." We all laughed together and felt lighter as rose and I hugged.

I was looking at Lilly play with Edward and Emmett and notice her yawning. I looked to my dad and sue and they nodded that it was time to go. I got Lilly all packed up and ready to go. We all said our goodbyes. Esme said she would be in touch to go over some themes for kids rooms. Edward said he would call me soon and we were off to go home. This day has really been an eye opener with all the realizations that came out. I am so glad Lilly is comfortable with all the Cullens. She fell asleep shortly after we left and fell asleep in the car. When we got home Charlie took her upstairs to bed as I followed him to get her more comfortable.

I came back downstairs to thank Charlie and Sue for everything today. I hugged them both tightly and was almost in tears. "Everything was so emotional today and I don't know how to absorb it all. Edward told me some things today that floored me and with Rosalie's outburst even though turned out ok threw me for a loop. This is very hard Sue trying to move on and I am not sure how much I can handle."

"Bella this is the first step today and your dad and I are very proud of you because you did great. It was a good move also to ask for Alice and Esme's help with Lilly's room. They want to feel involved in your life again. Get a good night sleep and it will be better in the morning. I am here for you as well as your dad anytime you need us." Charlie nodded in agreement as Sue was talking to me.

"Thank you both but I think I will go up to bed now. It's been a long day. Love you both."

I went upstairs and get dressed for bed was about to climb in with Lilly when my phone chirped with a text message. I opened up my phone and saw it was from Edward. I smiled as I opened it up.

B.

Goodnight Bella. Glad u r back. Sweet dreams.

E.

I smiled and felt all giddy like a teenager and replied.

E.

Glad I am back too. Missed everyone. Goodnight Edward and sweet dreams also.

B.

I then shut off my phone and smiled as I went to sleep.

The next couple of days went by pretty fast and I didn't hear from Edward yet. Maybe he had changed his mind. I talked with Lilly about how we were decorating her room. She was excited about having a "princess" room. I told her that was great but that Esme and Alice were going to show us some ideas. It was around 11am and I got a text on my phone from Edward.

B.

Sorry I haven't called. Been swamped at hospital. Can I meet you and Lilly for lunch today. Miss you both!

E.

I was totally shocked and was trying to think of a place we can meet near the hospital where Lilly can find something she likes.

E.

Would love 2 meet u 4 lunch. Any place near hospital that Lilly would like.

B.

B.

Yes there is a diner across the street. Can u meet me at 12:30?

E.

E.

Ok See ya then. By the way I missed u 2. I actually thought u changed ur mind. :):)

B.

B.

Can't wait 2 c u. I would never change my mind! :):):)

E.

I got Lilly dressed around 11:30am in a pink Barbie Sweat suit and I put on a pair of skinny jeans and a green v neck sweater. We headed down around 12 noon in case I would have trouble getting a parking spot. Luckily I found one pretty quick and we got out of the car and headed inside the ER. When we walked in I saw Edward at the desk talking to the nurse behind the desk and he looked worried. I noticed that the nurse was flirting with him and touching his arm. I stayed back to see what he would do and he pulled away from her and I heard him say, " Lauren I wish you would stop all this flirting. I have told you many times that I am not interested. Anyway someone had come back into my life that I have loved for a long time and she is the only one I want flirting with me!" I gasped and put my hand to my mouth and Lilly saved me from him hearing me when she saw him and ran to him yelling, "Edward". He saw Lilly and had a bright smile on his face. He caught up to Lilly and said, "Hi Princess Lilly how are you and where is your mom?"

EdwardPOV

"Mommy is over there and I am doing good. Did you know that I may have a Princess Room for my very own." I listen intently to Lilly as I glanced over to Bella and she looked confused and shocked. I walked over to her and asked if she was alright. She nodded and said," Yeah Edward I am ok just a little stunned but thats a different story. I am sorry we are early we can just sit and wait for you."

BellaPOV

"That's fine Bella let me just finish up my paperwork and we will be all set to go. He winked at me as he strolled away. I just don't know if I can do this. Can I trust Edward enough and I have to think of Lilly now because she is getting so close to him. I am so scared about all of this.

Edward came back and asked if we were ready to go. He looked concerned at me but waved him off that I was fine. We walked across the street with Lilly in the middle holding both of our hands. I looked at Edward and he had such a big smile on his face.

We sat in a booth and looked at the menu. Lilly wanted Chicken tenders while I got a Cobb salad and Edward ordered a burger. We talked about everything and Lilly talked about her room as Edward listened intently. He looked glad that Esme, Alice and Rosalie were going to help me with Lilly's room. As I was looking at Edward and Lilly I realized before anything got too far between Edward and myself we would have to talk about things. I do not know how I would deal with having a relationship with Edward. Am I too broken? If things didn't work out would Lilly be heartbroken. Did Tyler so ruin my trust in men that I am afraid of any relationships?

As we were finishing up Edward asked if I was ok and I said,"Yeah I think I am but Edward I am just thinking about a lot of things and we really need to talk alone before we can move any further along if that is ok."

"Yeah Bella that's fine and I would love to do something with you and talk. How about I check my schedule and call you and set something up. Would you be ok with going out to dinner with me Bella Swan?"

"I would love that Edward Cullen!" I said. He gave Lilly and I a big hug and kisses on the cheek and said he would call me soon. I smiled and thanked him for lunch.

Lilly and I walked to our car and all I keep thinking of was that kiss and wished it was on my lips. Can I really do this? Can I trust him or has Tyler ruined everything for me?


	4. Chapter 4

**Wow 2 stories in one day. Thanks to my beta BlueEyedVamp (Cullen2b1231) for helping me out for my first story.**

**would love to hear from you on how I am doing.**

Chapter 4

Edward had called and said he was working a lot during the week but asked if we could go out on Saturday. I told him that was fine; it would give me time to find something to wear because I may have to go shopping. I tried to get out of Edward where we were going but all he said was that it was a surprise.

Dad and Sue said they would watch Lilly for me and they wanted me to go out and enjoy myself. I was a little nervous about Saturday because I didn't know what to expect and was still confused about my feelings. I knew we had to talk about things and I was pretty sure he would leave after that.

Alice and Rose found out about my date Saturday and insisted they take me shopping for the perfect outfit. Esme said she would watch Lilly while we shopped.

After we dropped Lilly off at Esme's house we went to Port Angeles mall. Alice and Rose took me to all these stores. I found two dresses a black one and a royal blue one. They both hugged my body to show off my curves but weren't too sexy. I am sure Edward would like these. They also took me to Victoria Secret which I protested against but didn't win. I got several bra and panty sets which were sexy looking. Rose told me that you don't have to wear them for anyone but yourself.

After we were done we went to have lunch at this cafe at the mall. After we had ordered our lunch I had called Esme to see how Lilly was and she said she was great and not to worry. They had spaghetti for lunch and right now she has Carlisle watching Nemo with her. I laughed and thanked her for her kindness. Then I sent Edward a text.

E.

Hi Hope ur night is going k. Rose and Alice kidnapped me to the Mall.

B.

B.

I am doing k but I wish the night would go faster. Hope u r enjoying ur time w/ ur friends. They love u. Can't wait 4 Saturday.

E.

E.

I know and I am enjoying time with them as well. I have to get back to them. Can't wait 4 Saturday either. See ya later.

B.

I looked up at Rose and Alice and they just smiled. I knew I had to do this and I hope they didn't think less of me.d

"Rose, Alice, I want to talk to you about what happened when I disappeared. I also need your advice on if I should tell Edward." They nodded. "Ok here it goes, after we graduated I felt all alone because I didn't know what I wanted to do. Everyone else had plans except for me. I was just going to go to Community College for my first year 'til I knew what I wanted to do. Everyone was going to leave me, and all my insecurities of my mom never wanting me resurfaced. You guys knew I had a big crush on Edward back then but I also couldn't do anything about it. When we went to that graduation party all these feelings were still there. I saw Edward there with Tanya and they were making out on the couch.

"Right then I knew that Edward would never think of me that way. After I had a couple of drinks these guys came up to me and started talking to me. They brought me a drink that they fixed and they saw me staring at Edward and Tanya. They kept on telling me that Edward would never want me after being with Tanya. I knew they were right but I kept on hoping. They were telling me how much they cared about me and how beautiful I was to them. One of the guys Tyler asked me to go for a walk with him and we ended up at this guest house in the back. We sat on the couch talking for a bit and I was starting to feel really buzzed. He ended up taking my virginity away and I felt ashamed. I tried to fight him and stop him but he was saying all these nice things to me and he was a lot stronger. All I can remember is on how much it hurt and I never wanted to feel this way again. He was rough and only cared about his release. It didn't take him long and after he was done he rolled off and fell asleep. I ran out of there as fast as I could and since no one really paid attention to me no one noticed I was gone.

"After a couple of weeks I felt weird and found out I was pregnant. I felt so ashamed and I decided to call my cousin Angela that lives in Phoenix. She agreed to let me come and live with her so that is what I did.

"I don't know if I want to tell Edward or not because I know he will try and blame himself. Also I need to know if he can deal with this and Lilly being a result of this before we go any further. I can't risk Lilly's heart to get broken over Edward leaving."

"Oh my god, Bella!" Alice and Rose said together at the same time. "You should have, told us we would have helped you. You didn't have to run away and be by yourself. I know you were with your cousin but we would have been there for you. As for Tyler, we would have ripped his balls apart!"

We all laughed at that remark but I was still confused on what to tell Edward.

"I know you guys would have been there for me but all of you were leaving soon for college and I didn't want to be the cause of messing that up for you. I know I need to tell Edward because he already knows we have to talk about things but I am afraid of his reaction. He needs to know before we can move on in case he wants to run far away from me but I am still nervous about it."

"Bella relax about everything and I agree you need to tell Edward what happened. Yes, he may blame himself a little but he won't leave you. He will want to kill Tyler but he will be there for you."

I then realized how much I had missed my friends and talking things out with them.

Saturday came before I knew it and I was a nervous wreck. I decided to wear the blue dress and I also bought a blue bra and panty set. Rose was right when I put on my bra and panties. I felt sexy and good. I never have felt that way before. The five years I was in Phoenix I never had any time for dating and I really wasn't interested in it anyways. Lilly came in as I was finishing getting dress and said," Mommy you look pretty"

"Thank you baby. I feel pretty for once. Where are grandpa and Sue?"

"They downstairs making our dinner. We having chicken and Mac and cheese."

Then I heard the doorbell ring and Lilly ran downstairs looking to see who it was. She was so excited to see Edward and when I came downstairs I saw her talking a mile a minute telling Edward all the fun she is going to have with Grandpa and Sue. Edward was listening to her so intently. He picked his head up and as he saw me and a big smile lit his face. He came up to me and whispered in my ear, "You look so beautiful tonight." as he handed me these purple Lilly flowers. I put them in a vase as I said "Thank you."

We said our goodbyes to everyone and told Lilly to be good and we left and got in his Volvo. As we were driving we talked about the music, movies and TV shows we liked. Surprisingly we like the same things and it felt so comfortable talking to Edward like we have been best friends for a long time.

We finally got to Port Angeles and he took me to Bella Italia and the food is delicious here. I ordered Chicken Marsala and he ordered Chicken Parm.

"This is really nice here and I am glad I came here with you. I feel like we have known each other forever."

"Well, Bella, technically we have known each other for a long time but not really know about each other if that makes any sense. I am so enjoying myself and I am

grateful you said Yes to coming out with me."

"I am glad I said Yes too but I need to tell you that I am worried about Lilly becoming too attached to you and then something happening and you leaving. She would be heartbroken and I can't allow that to happen."

"Bella I promise you I really do not want to go anywhere and I will try really hard not to piss you off so you won't want to leave me. I care very much for you Bella, and I can't wait to get to know you better and just enjoy our time together."

"Okay, we will try but first I need to tell you my story to see if you still want to stay with me. Can we go somewhere so we can talk privately?"

"We can go back to my place if that's ok. I promise to be a gentleman." Edward said while smirking and lifting one eyebrow.

When we got to Edward's house it was huge from the outside. I said, "Wow Edward you must be doing ok, this house is great . "

"Well Bella I do pretty good for myself and I loved this place when I first saw it."

As we walked in I saw a huge living area with a big screen TV on wall. There was a huge dream kitchen to the right. There was a staircase to the left and another room to the side. It was a gorgeous home.

"Bella would you like some wine?"

"Sure that would be nice, Edward."

I sat on the couch and Edward came in with wine and glasses and sat next to me. We just looked at each other and I took a big breath and said, "Edward I had such a great time tonight and I hope what I say next doesn't ruin the perfect date."

"Bella it will be fine and I promise I will listen and will understand."

"Okay, Edward if you can remember I was always insecure about myself and I blame it on my mom not wanting me. I always felt like a loner even though I had Alice and Rose as best friends. Guys never noticed me and I guess since I had a crush on you nobody else was interested in me. After we graduated and we were at that party, I was all by myself. I didn't see anyone else so I stayed in a corner and watched. I had a couple of drinks and I saw you and all these girls around you. They were so gorgeous and I knew then you would never see me that way. You hooked up with Tanya Denali and I felt so lost. It really wasn't your fault; it was mine with all my insecurities that I should have got over a long time ago. Two guys, Eric and Tyler, came over to me and started talking and gave me a drink that they mixed. The daughter of a police chief made me a little weary but I decided to try it. It tasted okay and then Tyler asked me to go for a walk. He said to me that he knows I had feelings for you but that you would never want me when you had Tanya"

Edward stood up and was pacing back and forth. "Bella I never cared about those girls. I always cared about you but thought I didn't deserve you. I feel so bad you felt that way. How dare Tyler say those things to you without knowing the truth ."

"Edward, this is not your fault. Anyway when we went for our walk, we came across a guest house and I really wanted to rest so we went in and sat on the couch. Tyler started touching me and telling me how much he liked me and how beautiful I was and that I didn't need you. I was a little buzzed by then and started to think he really cared but then he started to kiss me and feel me up and I panicked. He said to just let go and enjoy myself. I felt like at least maybe someone cared. Things got carried away and I felt uncomfortable. I tried to fight it but he was a little stronger than me and before I knew it he was inside of me. It felt like he just slammed in me and it hurt so bad I was crying but it didn't faze him and then soon he found his release. I felt nothing but pain. Afterward he rolled off of me and fell asleep and I got my clothes and ran home. I was glad we were outside so no one could see me. Three weeks later I found out I was pregnant and I felt so ashamed. Tyler never called me or looked for me so I knew he only told me what I wanted to hear. I felt so violated and disgusted with men. "

"Oh my god, Bella…what you have been through? I could kill Tyler for doing that to you. I feel like this is my fault. Bella, if I just admitted to my feelings for you this would of never happened." he sat down then and cried.

I then held him and we both cried. I told him none of this was his fault and if he didn't want anything with me I would understand.

"Bella this is no reason for me to run from you. I want to know you better and show you how men should treat you. I want to show you how you deserve to be treated . Will you give us a try and I will promise to never hurt you intentionally. I have been known to do stupid shit but I care for you so much.

"I want to try too but I am nervous and scared. I don't know how intimate I can be yet and you may get tired of waiting. We would have to go slow."

"Bella, I would wait forever for you. Would it be too fast if I kissed you because right now that's exactly what I really want to do."

I blushed and smiled and said,"Edward…I would really like that."

We moved closer to each. When his lips touched mine I felt that electricity that surprised me but also made me feel whole. We danced with our lips and Edward tongued my lower lip asking for permission and I granted by opening wider. It was the best feeling I had ever experienced. We needed to breathe and backed away touching our foreheads together and both said "wow!" at the same time.

Edward then took me home and walked me to the door. I then asked him"Edward do you think that you can come over tomorrow and help me tell my dad. After telling you and Alice and Rose I feel guilty I haven't told him."

"Sure, Bella. I have to work in afternoon but I came come over around 10am is that ok?"

"That would be perfect Edward thank you! "

He gave me a goodnight kiss and I walked in the door with a big smile. Maybe it was fate that I moved back. Who would have thought that I would be dating Edward Cullen!

**Edward would really love you to tell me how I am doing writing his and Bella's story!**


	5. Chapter 5

**I am so sorry that it took so long but this is un betaed. I am posting 3 chapters and once my lovely beta cullen2b1231 returns them i will replace them. Hopefully they arent too bad.**

**As always I do not own Twilight stephenie meyer does. Did everyone order Eclipse Dvd yet!**

The next morning I woke up very happy that Edward was ok with everything, I just hope I didn't disappoint him. When I came home last night I spoke with Sue on the side and asked her if she could come over today around 9:30am. I told her Edward is coming over around 10am to give me support to tell Charlie everything. She gave me a hug and said "everything will be ok".

I got Lilly and I dressed and started Breakfast for everyone. I made some bacon, eggs and pancakes and cut up some fresh fruit. I started the coffee and Charlie came down around 9am. "Good morning Dad!"

"hey Bells what is all of this? Did you have a good time last night?"

"yeah dad I had a great time. Edward took me to a nice restaurant in Port Angles and we came back to his place to talk. I needed to make sure for Lilly's sake he was ok with my current state of mind. I don't know how I will do in a relationship dad because of what happened but I am willing to try and I hope Edward doesn't give up on me. He makes me feel so good dad like I matter to someone besides you of course. He makes me feel special! Does that make any sense?"

"Bella you are special you just don't realize it. I know Edward is a good guy so I am not concerned with you seeing him, just make sure he doesn't push you into something you aren't ready for. "

"He won't Dad he promised me he would be patient. He is stopping by for a little while before he goes to work today and Sue said she might stop over too. Time to eat before everything gets cold."

After I cleaned up the kitchen from breakfast I was sitting at the table drinking another cup of coffee when the doorbell rang. Sue was here and she brought some donuts. I got up to pour her a cup of coffee and she followed me into kitchen.

"Good morning Bella how are you this morning?"

"I am fine Sue just a little nervous telling Charlie."

Just then the doorbell rang and it was Edward. He saw me and had a smile on his face. Came to me and gave me a big hug and kissed my cheek. He whispered in my ear," I missed you so much last night. All I thought about all night was that awesome kiss we had last night. I can't wait till we can do that again."

"Well Mr. Cullen maybe if you are a good boy I may grant your wish before you go to work."

As we walked back into the living room Lilly was watching cartoons with Charlie. I didn't know what to do with Lilly and I didn't want her to hear anything being said. All of a sudden, Sue's daughter Leah came over. Sue mentioned to me that she thought I may need someone to distract Lilly from hearing our conversation. I hugged her and said "Thank you"

Leah sat down with Lilly and introduced herself and Lilly was telling her all about the cartoons she was watching. She looked like she was ok so I said to Charlie

"Dad, can you come into the kitchen I would like to talk to you about something."

He came into the kitchen and we all sat down having coffee and donuts that Sue brought. I explained my story that I told Edward and he had his arm around my shoulder and with his other hand kept touching me to let me know he was there supporting me.

As I was telling my story I could tell my dad was livid and ready to kill Tyler if he walked through that door. Sue was there keeping him calm so I could get through my story.

"Dad I am so sorry for what I put you through. I know now I should have come to you and my friends but I was so embarrassed. I didn't want to mess up my friend's chance of going to school and studying. I know you would have been very upset and mad at me and I wouldn't be able to look at you in the eye. Angela was so great with me and I couldn't of gotten thru it without her but I felt guilty all that time knowing I should of came to you… You have no idea how bad I feel for letting you down."

At this point I was in hysterics and Edward was rubbing my arms trying to calm me. Charlie came over and knelt besides me and took me in a gigantic hug and said

"Bella I would never be ashamed of you. Yes I wish you came to me but I also know how scared you were. When your mom was pregnant with you we were still in college and young. She was so cared also but we stuck it out. I know you have insecurities that your mom put in you but never feel ashamed of anything baby. I love you and will always love you so never be afraid to come to me ok. Personally I need to kill Tyler Crowley for what he did to you but I am the Chief so I can't."

We all laughed at Charlies predicament and then relaxed some since the conversation was pretty much over. Charlie did mention about talking to Tyler that he has a child but I tensed up and said I can't deal with that now.

I walked Edward out to his car. "Edward thanks so much for being there for me this morning. I know it couldn't have been easy for you to hear that all over again. I just wish all my fears would go away. I never thought of saying anything to Tyler because I don't think he deserves it but Lilly does deserve to know her father. I just don't know what to do."

"Bella you don't have to think about it now just try to relax today. I hate to have to go to work now when you need me here but I can't get out of it. I will try to get out early if I can. Hey, was I a good boy!" he said as he smirked that stupid crooked grin he has.

"Yes you were a very good boy. Come here so I can give you your prize."

I gave him a big hug and then I looked up to his eyes and all I could see in them was love and concern. I thought I could never feel like this that someone would actually care for me. This definitely was a new feeling that I want to hold onto. We got closer and kissed so passionately that I didn't want to pull away. Eventually I pulled away and just stared at him and said,

"I have never felt like this before and I am scared. I feel like you cherish me so much and you make me feel so good about myself. I am scared because you have the power to break me and I don't think I could go through that again. I have to really try and believe you when you say you aren't going anywhere because Edward I don't want you to. Please don't leave me right now."

"Bella I am not going anywhere and I do cherish you. Sometimes I can't believe this is really happening. I have wanted this so much for so long and its hard to fathom you actually want me. I could have prevented all of this if I wasn't such a coward. I am so sorry Bella you have no idea on how bad I feel."

"Please Edward you promised me you wouldn't blame yourself we have to move on from this ok."

"I know Bella I am sorry I guess just hearing the story again made me feel bad again. I will try harder not to blame myself again. I wish I didn't have to go to work today. I will call you later ok." I nodded and smiled. He gave me one last kiss and then he got in his car and drove away.

Esme, Alice and Rose came over around 1pm to show me some ideas for Lilly's room. Lilly still wanted a 'Princess Room' but we needed to decide if we wanted a sleigh bed or canopy bed. Alice suggested coloring the walls a light pink/coral color. We needed to get a bed, dresser in maybe off white color with pink accents. Also they showed us a little table in same tones that Lilly could use to color on or play on. They also suggested getting different Disney Princesses that we can put on the wall. Lilly was really getting excited over everything and couldn't wait til it was all done. We decided that tomorrow would be a good time to go look at furniture.

I then asked if they thought the guys would be able to help next weekend with the guest rooms moving boxes and help paint the room. We all agreed would be a goof idea and started to make plans. I told them I would ask Edward about it later when he called.

"So Bella are you going to tell us about your date with Edward?"

I started to blush and said," It was such a perfect date. Edward took me to Port Angles and we had dinner at this nice Italian restaurant. We then went back to his place and talked about where we are going from here. I told him about my concerns about Lilly and him getting close and then him leaving and what it would do to her. We decided to take things slow for now since I am still trying to deal with things and would see what happens. "

"Bella I think you underestimate Edward. I know he cares for you a great deal and even if things got rough I don't think he would give up."

"I know Esme I just worry about things. We talked about a lot of things and I explained my disappearance to him and he still wants to stick around. He got upset and still blames himself because if he told me how he felt maybe my ordeal wouldn't of happened. Esme I know I haven't explained anything to you and I feel bad about that but I have talked about it so much within the last 24 hours I just can't talk about it anymore. Edward came over this morning and supported me telling my dad and it has just exhausted me. Maybe Alice and Rose can give you some insight about it."

"Its ok Bella I understand and when you are ready we will get together and we can talk if you want to."

I gave Esme a hug and wished my own mother could be this kind. Just then I got a text from Edward.

B.

Miss you already. I hope ur day is good.

E.

I smiled and replied.

E.

Miss you too. Alice,Rose and ur mom is here looking at furniture for Lilly's room. R U working next weekend?

B.

B.

Why Ms Swan r u asking me out? I am free what do u have in mind?

E.

E.

What I have in mind includes using those fantastic muscles of yours...

B.

B.

You can't say stuff like that when I am at work. Now I have to fix myself!.

E.

E.

LOL! I wanted to know if u could help next weekend with getting Lilly's room cleaned up. We need Emmett, Jasper and your help moving boxes.

B.

B.

Anything for you! Can't wait to see you. Miss you. Call u later.

E.

After everyone left Lilly and I decided to take a short nap. It has been a emotionally day and I was exhausted. Dad had to work a double shift so it was just Lilly and I.

We woke up a couple hours later very hungry. I decided to take Lilly to the diner for dinner since I really didn't feel; like cooking. When we got there we took a booth in the back and Lilly ordered chicken nuggets and I had a burger with fries. Half way through our meal I looked up for some reason and in walks in Lauren and Tyler. I panicked and froze because I didn't want him to see me. I knew this would happen but I was no near ready for this confrontation. Then I got a flashback to that night and I was trying to fight the tears. Lilly was pretty much done and I asked her if she was ready to leave. I left more than enough money on table for meal and went right to my car. I had to get away from there fast. I knew I couldn't go home and be there all alone tonight so I thought of the only place I would feel safe-The Cullen.

"Esme is it alright if I come over right now."

"Bella whats wrong? What happened?"

"Esme I really don't want to talk about it over the phone could I just come over and talk. I am o scared right now."

"Ok Bella come right over but be careful driving. You are always welcome here!"

I got to the Cullen's House quickly and I was still shaking. Alice came out as soon as she heard my car and helped me get Lilly out of her booster seat. She took Lilly inside and held my arm helping me steady myself. When we got inside the door Esme was there giving me a hug. I was crying silently and telling her that I was so sorry to intrude.

" Nonsense Bella you are not intruding come inside and have a seat on couch. I will get us some tea."

Carlisle came out to see us and asked Lilly if she wanted to play upstairs. They had picked up some toys for her to play with when she came over again. I nodded that it was ok and she left with Carlisle to go upstairs. Esme came back with some tea for us girls and sat next to me.

"I am so sorry Esme but I was so afraid to go home. Charlie is working a double shift and I was scared to be by myself. I didn't know where else to go since Edward is working. Lilly and I went to the diner for dinner and Tyler walked in with Lauren and I froze. Oh Esme you don't know about my ordeal yet do you?"

"Yes I do Bella when we came back from your house Alice and Rose explained to me what you told them. He should of never treated you like that. You deserve so much better and that was so wrong in so many ways."

" I know Esme but I feel very ashamed that it happened. When I saw Tyler tonight that whole night came back to me and I was scared. I didn't want to freak out at the diner and him see me so We left as soon as we could. What am I going to do Esme? Why didn't I think of this when I decided to come back? Maybe I can't do this?"

Esme was ready to say something and then I heard Edward yell "Bella, Bella where are you?"

when he came into the living room he saw me and was so concerned he ran to me and gave me a hug.

"Bella are you ok? My dad called me and told me you were very upset and was coming over here. I told work I had a family emergency and had to leave. I was so scared Bella I didn't know what happened to you."

He took me to the couch and sat down and put me on his lap while he was constantly caressing me and trying to calm me down. I told him what happened and I was sorry I scared him.

"Oh Bella I care for you so much that when something upsets you it upsets me because all I want is for you to be happy. "

That started more tears and I just held onto his shirt and hugged him and cried as he was rubbing my back.

"Bella I just spoke with Charlie and explained what happened and he agreed that you should stay here tonight. Alice can go over your house and get you anything you need for Lilly or yourself."

"Thank you so much Esme I really don't deserve all your kindness."

"Bella Marie Swan" Esme and Edward said at the same time. "You definitely deserve kindness and much more. That boy treated you so wrong and you need to know how it feels to be properly treated and I know my son will show you that. Please don't blame yourself for these feelings you have. You need to know that your mom made her decisions a long time ago and she has to live with that her whole life. You are not to blame for her problems and you deserve so much more than you have been given.. Charlie did a great job with you because you are a kind, beautiful,smart woman that has had a little set back. Do not let it discourage you from anything you want to do. We all love you Bella and you need to understand that we are all here for you anytime."

I turned to Edward and just hugged him like I was hanging on for my life. I had such confusing feelings about everything. I am determined to move on from this though and I wish I could show Edward everything I am feeling.

"Edward I am sorry for acting this way. I wish I could open myself up to you about some things on how I am feelings but I am so scared of being rejected. I don't know why my mother leaving me has me feeling so insecure. Maybe I think I wasn't good enough for her so I won't be good enough for you and you will eventually leave too. I know you told me you won't but I still have that fear. I hope you can be patient with me and hopefully soon I will be able to open you and express my feelings..I do know that I care for you so much and you give me these feelings that no one has ever given me.. I feel so safe with you like nothing can touch me when I am with you. You make me feel so special and the feelings I get are overwhelming at times. I miss you all the time and can't wait til I see you again. I just wish I can be more than that for you."

"Bella I am not going anywhere so please don't think I am. Like my mom says you can not blame yourself for your mom leaving. You are such a brilliant beautiful woman that she is the one who should feel bad about not knowing you. We will take things slow and everything will work out fine. One day at a time and everything will get easier. Lets get you to sleep now, Esme and carlisle are taking care of Lilly tonight and I will take care of you. Is it alright if we sleep together so I could be there if you need me. I promise I will be a gentleman."

"Thank you for everything Edward and yes I trust you to sleep with me."

We walked upstairs to his old room and I got into my pajamas Alice got for me. Edward was already in bed with his pajamas on and I slipped under covers and nestled next to him. I looked into his eyes and I reached up to him and gave him a kiss that started as a chaste kiss but grew deeper passionately. I absolutely loved kissing Edward it was the best feeling in the world. We backed away trying to catch our breathes and touched our foreheads. "Edward you make me feel so good just by kissing me and being near me. I never felt like this before and I never want it to stop."

"Bella I feel the same way and I never want it to stop either. I am not going anywhere, I will be here as long as you want me."

We fell asleep not long after that and I have never slept so good before. I felt safe and secure and where I was meant to be. When I woke up in the morning I was all by myself and I wondered if Edward had to work today. I got a shower and dressed and walked downstairs to see what Lilly was doing. I immediately saw her with carlisle on the couch watching TV.

"Good morning Mommy!"

"Good morning Lilly what are you doing?"

"We are watching Ariel Movie do you want to watch with us?"

"I would love to Lilly but Mommy is a little hungry. Maybe when I am done eating"

She ran back over to Carlisle and finished watching her movie.

I walked into the kitchen and Esme was doing some dishes.

"Good morning Bella."

" Good morning Esme and thank you so much for letting us stay and taking care of Lilly for me. I feel embarrassed on how I was acting last night . It wasn't very mature of me and I feel bad intruding for something that silly."

"Bella first of all there was no intrusion because you are always welcome here. Second, anytime anyone has any feelings or is upset it is not silly. You had those feelings for a reason and there is no one who is going to say to you they are ridiculous feelings."

"I know Esme I just want to be stronger than this so I can get on with my life. I know I should confront him and tell him about Lilly but I am scared. What if he wants to be a part of her life and how do I explain the situation to Lilly? How can I deal with him being in our life? I know if I don't do this I will regret it so I need to get my 'big girl panties on' and deal with this."

Esme handed me a plate of french toast with eggs and bacon while we were talking. She told me that Edward will be back soon he had some errands to run.

"Bella I know you can do this and we will all be here to help you. I am sure Edward will go with you when you decide to tell him about Lilly. You also have Charlie and Sue and they will do anything to help you too. There is no reason to run anymore sweetheart you have everything you need right here in Forks." she then cane over and gave me a hug and told me anytime I need to talk that she is always here for me. I heard the front door close and Edward strolled into the kitchen. He came right over to me and gave me a hug and a kiss.

"How are you doing Bella?"

"I am so much better Edward and thank you for everything. I told your mom but she argued with me about apologizing for last night. I feel embarrassed that I am not stronger than that and letting Tyler affect me that way."

"Nothing for you to apologize for and you don't need to be strong all the time. Thats why you have friends and family to fall back on to support you."

"I went to see Charlie Bella and asked him if he could check out Tyler and make sure he has not record. I explained to him what happened and was glad you stood here overnight."

We went into the living room to see what Lilly was doing and she was playing with her barbies with Alice. They looked so cute together concentrating so hard on dressing their Barbies.

"Bella I have to get going soon to get ready for work. Can I call you later!"

"Of course you can I am going to check with Alice to see if we are still going furniture shopping."

I saw Alice and Lilly cleaning up their Barbies getting ready to go out. Looks like Alice heard me tell Edward about furniture shopping. Edward gave me a chaste kiss and we said our goodbyes.

How did I get so lucky to have such great friends!

**Ok please review so i know how I am doing. Also go check our my friend Twilightfeenx01 1st story "A Forever of Our Own" It a great story. show her some love too!**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

During the week leading to the weekend I didn't see Edward that much since his schedule was busy. He had to trade with other doctors so he could get the whole weekend off.

Charlie and I went through the rest of the stuff in the guest room and boxed up what we were going to donate to 'goodwill'. They would be out on Saturday while we were painting.

When Alice, Esme and Rose went out with me earlier during the week we had picked out perfect furniture set for Lilly. She absolutely loved and couldn't wait to have her room set up. We decided on a sleigh bed and dresser set that matched. Esme insisted on buying it for Lilly and of course I argued with her but she ended up winning. I also bought her a table and chairs that she can sit at and color or play with her toys. It matched her other furniture exactly.

We also picked out a pinkish peach color to paint her walls that would match her furniture perfectly. We also saw a princess border that we got to put up once the paint dried. The furniture wasn't getting delivered til Tuesday so we had enough time.

Edward had off on Friday so we went out to pick out flooring. He insisted on buying that for Lilly. I wasn't sure if I was going to get carpet or something else. Sometimes Lilly has problems with allergies and I was thinking carpet might not be the best idea. We had looked at different carpet and vinyl flooring but I didn't like too much. We then saw laminate flooring which looked like hardwood but more durable and less expensive. I decided that would be best to get and we can get a couple of area rugs for by her bed and her table and chairs.

I had text Alice to see if she could locate some princess area rugs for her room since we decided on the laminate flooring. I know Alice was checking online for some wall decorations too. She text me back how excited she was and was going to check right away.

When we got back Lilly and Sue was watching Beauty and the Beast. Sue said she would be back here tomorrow morning and I told her I really appreciate all her help.

Edward called the guys and asked them to be here early around 8am so we can get all the boxes out of the room for when 'Goodwill' comes.

The plan was once the guys brought all the boxes in the living room for when goodwill would get there, Alice, Rose and I would dust and sweep the floor to get ready to paint.

Edward stayed for a while and played with Lilly. Around 5pm he asked if we wanted to go out for dinner. We bothed yelled"Yeah!"

We ended up going to get pizza and ice cream afterward. It was nice to have some time alone just the three of us. I was starting to think that maybe I should of looked for my own place before redecorating the guest room for Lilly but I couldn't afford it quite yet. After we got our ice cream we walked around in the park. We each were holding Lilly's hands and if felt so wonderful like we were actually a family. Edward promised Lilly he would bring her back on a windy day and show her how to fly a kite.

When we got home Edward decided to leave since we had a early morning tomorrow. He kissed me goodbye and then left. I took Lilly upstairs and gave her a bath and got her ready for bed. I told her that Sue and Leah would be here tomorrow to play with her while the rest of us get her room ready to be painted. She was getting really excited and asked, "oh Mommy when can I sleep in my new room."

"Probably not until Tuesday when all your furniture arrives."

"OK Mommy I can't wait."

I went back downstairs after reading Lilly a book and she fell asleep. I decided to take some quiet time and have a cup of tea and read a book.

I heard my phone chirp that I got a text message. I opened my phone and saw it was from Edward.

B.

Can't wait to see you tomorrow. Sweet dreams and goodnight!

E.

E.

Can't want to see you too. Thanks for today and including Lilly with your plans. It was very special.

Sweet dreams.

B.

B.

I love spending time with Lilly and her beautiful Mom! See ya tomorrow.

E.

I smiled as I closed my phone thinking what did I do to deserve someone like Edward. I decided it was time to go to sleep.

At 6:30am I heard someone banging on the door. I heard Charlie yell,"Just a minute"

When he opened the door a little pixie strolled in the door.

"Alice it is too early in the morning."

"Nonsense Charlie we have lots to do."

I got out of bed trying not to wake Lilly. I went downstairs to see what was going on and glared at Alice.

"Really Alice do you need to be here so early."

"We need to get started so we have enough time."

I went back upstairs to get a shower and dressed. When I came back downstairs everyone else was here with coffee and bagels.

Edward came over to me and gave me a hug and a kiss and said,"Good morning beautiful, Sorry about Alice."

After we finished eating breakfast Charlie came back with Sue and Leah. Lilly wasn't up yet so I asked Sue if she could help Lilly once she gets up. She told me I didn't even need to ask.

We went into the room and the guys started bringing all boxes down into the living room. Lilly was up by the time they were finished and Sue was getting her breakfast.

"Good morning baby. How are you today?"

"I fine mommy! I am so excited about my new room."

"I know sweetie but you have to be patience until Tuesday."

"Ok Mommy!"

Just then I felt 2 strong arms around my waist and he whispered," Did my fantastic muscles do the job! Are you satisfied with their performance?"

OMG I thought I would collapse on my knees from that remark.

"Oh more than satisfied Edward!"

I turned around and gave him a kiss and said "Thank you!"

The guys were resting from moving all the boxes and us girls was checking the room to see if we needed to clean anything else up before we started painting.

We decided to order pizza for lunch before we started painting. After we ate I decided to go outside for a little bit. I don't know why I was so anxious. It seemed that since I have been back everything is happening all at once. It has only been a couple of weeks but I feel a little overwhelmed. I have my first staff meeting Monday, I am settling in with my dad and getting Lilly's room setup. Then there is Edward and I have no idea how it all happened but it did and he makes me feel so different than I have felt before.

I felt someone sit next to me and I looked up and saw Edward. I leaned into him and put my head on his chest.

"Whats going on Bella? Are you ok?"

"I am doing alright but I was just thinking how everything is changing so fast. When I decided to come back home I had no idea on what will happen to me. If my dad would accept me with open arms, if all of you would be mad at me. I was so worried about seeing you again. I didn't even think about running into Tyler. I know I have to meet him and tell him about Lilly but I am so scared."

"I am also nervous about my first staff meeting and if people will ask me questions about Lilly. I am nervous about you because I don't want to mess anything up with you. I think after Tuesday when Lilly's room is all done and I know what to expect from work I may need to take some time for me. I need to relax and not worry about anything."

"I know things seem to be happening fast and maybe my mom and Alice shouldn't have pushed this room so fast. We can deal with Tyler together at a later date. I was thinking of taking a couple of days off and we could do something together. We can take Lilly or we can do something ourselves. Maybe you would rather be by yourself and in that case I would completely understand."

"Thank you for everything you have done for me and you have been so sweet. We needed to do this room asap so we both can have our own space. I am not sure what I really want to do but I haven't had too much time to myself since Lilly was born. I was thinking of doing a whole day with Lilly and maybe ask dad or Sue if they could watch Lilly for a couple of days. I would love to do something with you if you could get the days off. Do you think this makes me a bad mother if I want to do something without Lilly?"

" Absolutely not it would never make you a bad mother by needing time to yourself. I will check with work on Monday and see if I can get Friday and the weekend off. Maybe you can do something with Lilly on Wednesday or Thursday and we can go somewhere this weekend. I know if your Dad or Sue can't watch Lilly I am sure my parents would be able to. Does this sound ok to you?"

"It sounds wonderful Edward but I don't want you to get in any trouble because of me. What would I do without you Edward Cullen?"

"You wouldn't have anyone with these fantastic muscles to help you." we both started laughing and hugging. I pulled away from him and stared into his eyes and then he leaned in and kissed me. I was in awe of him so much and I couldn't get enough of his kisses and the way they make me feel. I put my hands around his neck and caressed his hair and he moaned. We started getting into our make out session until I heard Lilly calling me. We pulled away and straightened up before she got out on the porch.

"There you are Mommy and Edward. We missed you!"

We both smiled and Edward grabbed and picked her up and started tickling her and said, "We missed you too." She giggled a lot and tried to get out of Edward's hold. Finally Edward stopped and she hugged him. That moment right there made my heart jump, it was so special.

We went back in and started painting. The guys were trying to act all macho and goofy and trying to get us girls to have a paint fight but there was no way that was happening especially with Alice around.

The color we picked out for Lilly's room was very dainty and pretty. We also got Princess Borders that we are going to put up once the paint dries. It has to be done before Tuesday when the furniture arrives. When we got all done and I looked around at the room and saw all my friends here that helped me I felt very emotional. I really missed all of them and even though they didn't agree with what I did about leaving 5 yrs ago, they were all here helping me. I felt tears starting to well up in my eyes and I went to the bathroom.

I looked at myself in the mirror and yelled at myself, 'Bella get your ass out there and stop dwelling on the past. Your friends all love you and you need to move on from everything' I splashed cold water on my face and was ready to go out when I heard knocking at the door.

"Bella are you alright?" Alice always knew me better than I knew myself. I opened the door to find Alice and Rose standing there.

"I am fine girls I have been emotional today. I don't know what is wrong with me. Its just that when we got done with painting and I saw all of you that helped me even though I ran and disappeared from everyone I got overwhelmed. I started to think I didn't deserve all of your kindness but I realized I have to try and forget about what happened in the past and move forward. I just love you guys and I am sorry for disappointing you"

We all cried and hugged together and decided we were a team and the team was going to help Bella move towards her future and forget the past. We all came out of the bathroom and Edward looked at me and I nodded as if to say,'I am ok'.

We took turns getting cleaned up and decided to go out to eat. I wanted to treat Sue, Leah and Charlie for helping watch Lilly. We decided to got to the new Chinese Buffet which Emmett was excited about.

We all had a nice dinner and great conversation and I thanked everyone for helping today. It was such a long day and I was getting tired. I looked over at Lilly and she was yawning too.

When we got home I took Lilly upstairs to get her bath and get ready for bed. We played a little bit in the bath and then got out and got into our jammies.

"Mommy do you think that Edward would want to read me a story tonight?"

I was a little shocked by her question and happy that she was getting close to Edward.

"You like Edward a lot don't you?"

"Yeah I do he is pretty cool and funny. I like all of your friends mommy."

"Yeah I like them all too. I will go ask Edward for you."

I went downstairs and Alice,Jasper, Emmett and Rose were getting ready to leave.

"Hey Bella we are going to get going but we will see you tomorrow so we can get the borders up."

"Ok Alice that sounds great but not as early as today."

Everyone laughed and she nodded ok.

After everyone left I asked Edward to come upstairs for a few minutes.

He followed me to my room and Lilly was sitting up against the headboard.

"Hey Edward can you read me my story tonight?"

Edward looked at little shocked and looked at me. I smiled and nodded ok.

He had such a big smile on his face and layed down next to Lilly and started to read the book she picked out. I left them to enjoy their time together and made myself some tea.

Charlie had left to take Sue and Leah home and he wasn't back yet. I enjoyed the quiet time to myself and just reflected on the day. My life was getting better and better each day and I had to concentrate on not worrying about the past.

Edward came back down and said,"she is sleeping."

He sat down with me on the couch and we were cuddling.

"Bella I am so happy right now. I enjoy so much being with you and when Lilly asked me to read her a story I thought my heart was going to leap out of my chest. I can't explain how wonderful a feeling I have right now."

"I know Edward it surprised me too. I knew she would take to you right away and that was why I was so concerned when we were talking on our first date. I know now that you will never hurt us."

"Bella what happened before when we were done painting and you ran to the bathroom. I was so worried."

"I am sorry for worrying you. Sometimes I get these overwhelming feelings that I don't deserve all my friends kindness. I just saw all of you loving me unconditionally even though I left and disappeared from everyone. I just need to forget about my past and move forward and stop feeling guilty. I am fine now though especially being here with you. I can't explain how you make me feel. After what I went through with Tyler I thought I didn't deserve any love and thats why it happened to me but you have shown me in this short period of time that maybe I do deserve something more."

"Oh Bella I wish you could see yourself clearer than you do. I will take pleasure on showing you exactly how you should be treated. Starting with this next kiss."

He leaned towards me and kissed me ever so gently until the feelings started igniting inside each of us and we got carried away. All of a sudden we heard someone's throat clear and we backed away from each other.

We looked up and saw Charlie smiling at us. "Sorry Chief we got a little carried away."

"its ok Edward I can see how happy you make my little girl. I just wanted to let you know that I was back. I have to go into the station tomorrow so I will not be able to help out but you should be ok with Alice and Rose here. I am heading to bed now but don't stay up too late you never know how early a certain pixie will be here."

We all laughed and said goodnight! Edward took that time to head out also. He gave me a kiss goodnight and I watched him go to his car and leave.

The next morning Alice and Rose got here around 8am and said that Emmett and Jasper had football practice that they had to be at. We sat down at table and had some coffee and donuts that they brought.

Soon after that Lilly came downstairs still sleepy. "Hey baby what are you doing up so early?"

"I don't know I woke up."

Everyone smiled on how cute she was and then I heard the doorbell. Lilly ran to the door and said,"Who is it?"

"Its Edward Lilly, can I come in."

She opened the door jumping and saw Edward and got so excited. He bent down to pick her up and was tickling her. She was laughing and trying to get down from his hold. He put her down and she put her hands on her hip and said,

"Not funny Edward."

We all laughed as we sat down at the table. Edward came over and kissed me good morning!

We then told Edward about the guys being at the football field and that he could go check it out if he wanted. He looked at me and I nodded it was ok.

"How about if I take Lilly with me so she won't be in the way of you finishing up the room before the men get here to put down the floor."

I looked at Lilly and she was nodding excitedly and I said it was ok but to make sure she didn't get in their way.

"Bella it will be alright I will watch her to make sure she doesn't get hurt."

"Oh Edward I know you will watch her and take good care of her. Its hard because its only been Lilly and I for so long. Yes I was with my cousin but she had her own life to live. I completely trust you with Lilly. I am sorry if I offended you."

"You didn't offend me but you need to relax a little more and let people help you now."

I helped Edward get the booster seat in his car and hugged them both before they left. For some strange reason I got a weird feeling about today but I wasn't sure what it was.

After they left us girls went up into the room and put up the border. This room was going to look so cool when we were all done.

"Alice did you find any area rugs online that we could use in Lilly's room?"

"Oh wow Bella I did and I ordered them and they should be here on Monday."

"Wow that was fast but I am glad because then we can put them down before her furniture gets here. I really appreciate all your help with this."

We all hugged and was just happy being together again. My phone ranged and it was the guys putting in the floor that they would be here around 2pm. I started to get nervous about being in the house with strange men. I know nothing will happen but after Tyler attacked me I haven't felt comfortable with strange men. When I was in phoenix we had to have plumbers come over and I had a panic attack when I had to let them in.

"Alice do you know when football practice will be over with?"

"Not sure Bella it all depends on how much they have to practice. Why are you ok."

"This is really silly and I am a little embarrassed but ever since my ordeal with Tyler I get very nervous being around strange men especially coming into the house. I know its silly but I had a panic attack once in Phoenix letting in a plumber."

"We will be here with you if you want us too. We were going to go to the mall but we can stay if you want. Would you feel better calling Edward to come back?"

"Yes I would but I feel really bad because I don't want to feel needy. I need to feel strong again but I just get a bad feeling."

"Bella call Edward he will understand and maybe we can take Lilly shopping with us."

"She does need some things for school but you have to promise not to go over board."

"OK Bella we won't buy too much."

I then decided to call Edward.

"Hey beautiful how are you doing?"

"Everything is good but I was wondering when you were coming back."

"Oh we are still at the field and I was thinking of taking Lilly for something to eat. Is everything ok?"

I dreaded to tell Edward how I was feeling.

"Bella whats wrong, please tell me."

"Oh Edward it is silly and I shouldn't be bothering you. I will see you when you get back."

"Bella nothing you are feeling is silly but right now you are scaring me can you please tell me what happened?"

"Oh God Edward you are going to think I am so pathetic but I get a little nervous when strange men come into the house. One time in Phoenix I had a panic attack and I couldn't breathe. The plumber thought I was a freak. It may stem back to what Tyler did but I get really scared. I am so sorry about this but would you be able to come home before 2pm?"

"OMG Bella I am so sorry I didn't think about that. I will be right there but Lilly is hungry so I will go through McDonald drive thru and be there asap. Please do not ever feel embarrassed about telling me anything no matter what it is."

"Thanks Edward!"

When Lilly and Edward came back he came right over to me and asked if I was ok. I nodded and hugged him really tight.

"Bella when you didn't answer me right away when I asked if everything is ok I was so worried and scared. You mean the world to me and if anything happened to you I would be devastated. I know its early in our relationship for these feelings but I can't help how I feel."

"Edward I didn't mean to scare you I just .don't want to feel so needy to you or my dad. I want to be able to handle things on my own but maybe it will take time. I do understand your feelings because I am feeling the same but it also scares me too. You don't scare me Edward I am just scared of moving forward because I don't want to disappoint you."

"You would never disappoint me Bella. Lets go eat."

We all sat down and ate our burgers. After we were done Alice and Rose switched Lilly's booster seat to their car and they left for the mall. I gave them the supplies she needed for kindergarten and then it was just Edward and myself.

"Bella I was thinking that maybe all these emotions you are experiencing are because you are back home where everything happened and it is all coming back to you. I still feel in time everything will be ok. You definitely are a strong, mature person who has done a lot for herself within the past 5 years. I am so proud of you and I am thrilled to be back in your life."

Just then the doorbell rang and I went to answer it thinking it must be the men to put down the flooring.

When I opened the door the person staring back at me is the last person I expected to see. Suddenly I felt a little faint and I was lucky Edward was behind me.

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter. remember this are not betaed so I apologize for any mistakes. please review**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Tyler what are you doing here?" Thank god Edward was behind me because he gave me strength although I heard a growl from him.

"Bella Swan I didn't know you were back in town. I work for the Port Angeles Flooring Co. and I am here to install the flooring you purchased."

"Hey Edward I haven't seen you in a long time. I think the last time was at that post graduation party. Is that right Bella."

"Tyler you have some nerve doing this to Bella. Do what you have to do and leave."

Then the other guys came up carrying supplies and I let everyone inside the house. I looked up at Edward and he was so angry but also had concern in his eyes for me.

Edward then showed them what room it was getting the floor installed and they all got to work. I couldn't believe Tyler was actually here. I knew I had some info from him to talk at a later date.

Once they were done and I saw the room it really looked beautiful. It was going to be great once everything was done.

I saw Tyler then come over my way and all of a sudden Edward was there standing behind me.

"Bella it was good seeing you again. Do you think we can meet up sometime and talk."

"I guess we do need to talk Tyler. " I said as I handed him my phone to put his number in.

"I am really sorry Bella about the past."

"Save Tyler for when we talk, now is not the time."

As he was leaving the house he told me to call him when I was ready to talk.

I turned around to Edward as soon as everyone left and just held onto him. He picked me up Bridal style and carried me to the couch and sat me on his lap and I just held onto him.

"Edward I am so glad you were here with me. I am also glad Lilly wasn't here. Do you really think he regrets what he did? I know its no excuse but it will make talking to him easier if he does."

"I am not sure Bella because I still picked up bad vibes from him but he could feel bad about it. I guess we will have to wait and see. I will always be here for you Bella so please don't be afraid to tell me when we are nervous about something."

I nodded and just cuddles with him some more. Edward kissed my temple and said," I am so proud of you Bella. You were so strong and don't let it show how scared you were. It took everything inside of me not to punch him. I wanted to hurt him physically like he hurt you physically and emotionally."

We sat on couch and finished our movie and I knew I had to meet Tyler soon to get this all out in the open.

On Monday I had a staff meeting at Forks high school. It was 2 weeks before school starts and I had to go see the principal and see my classroom. I was also going to get my curriculum. Thank goodness Emmett and Jasper would be there with me.

When I pulled into the parking lot Emmett and Jasper were waiting for me. They came up to me and Emmett said, "Bells its about time I thought you were going to ditch your first day!"

"Ha ha Emmett it not even the first day, its just a meeting. Are you guys alright with sticking by me for a while til I get comfortable. I am sorry to put you through this but I am a little nervous."

"Of course we are here with you and no need to be nervous Bella you will do great."

Jasper always knew the right thing to say while Emmett always acting goofy making me forget why I was nervous. I had really great friends.

As we walked into the auditorium I saw a lot of familiar faces. I saw Jessica Stanley whom I know married Mike Newton. I also saw Kate Denali who happens to be Tanya's sister but Kate was always nice to me.

"Bella Swan how are you? I didn't know you were going to be working here."

"Yeah I went to school in Phoenix as a English Lit major and there happened to be an opening in Forks, Washington. I thought it was time to spend more moments with my dad so here I am.

"Oh wow its great to see you again. We have to have lunch or something to catch up."

I nodded and she went to talk to someone else. I looked at Jasper and Emmett and smiled letting them know I was good.

Mr Banner handed out each individual teacher's curriculum. Since I was an English Literature teacher he gave me a list of literature I could use in my classroom. Also gave us out room assignments so we could go check it out. After he dismissed us we all went to check out our rooms.

When I got to my room is was a room that was very lite up. I looked around and started getting all of these ideas in my head on how to decorate the room. As I was looking around Kate Denali popped in and said Hi. Her room was across the hall from me and offered any assistance if I needed it. Emmett and Jasper came around too to see if I was ok.

"Hey guys I am doing ok thanks for asking. I think I worried too much about this day but thanks for being there for me. I think I will head home shortly."

When I got home Sue was there with Lilly watching a movie. I thanked her for staying with Lilly and if my delivery came. She said I was welcome and she would help out anytime but no delivery yet.

I was looking over the approved literature for my class because Mr Banner had to have my list by beginning of school year. I then heard my cell phone beep that I got a text message.

Bella,

I know you don't want to hear from me but I really want to talk to you asap. I just want to clear the air between us so its not so awkward when we bump into each other. Please call or text me so we can set something up.

Tyler

I panicked a little because I wasn't sure how to handle this. I forward the message to Edward and ask him to call me as soon as he can about this.

I received a text from Edward right away.

B.

Can I come over tonight and we will talk about it. Maybe get Charlie's input also.

E.

E.

Yeah sure. Actually Charlie will be home tonight. Anyway I need your strong muscles again to help lay down area rugs in Lilly's room.

B.

B.

ok see ya round 6pm. Miss ya!

E.

E.

Miss ya too. C U later!

B.

The rugs and the wall decorations came in the afternoon. Alice said she would come by tomorrow some time to put them up. Edward would help with the rugs tonight.

Charlie came home around 4pm and I told him that Edward was coming over for dinner around 6pm and we wanted to discuss something with him. He nodded and went upstairs to take a shower.

I made a chicken casserole for dinner and a salad. Edward was here right on time. We enjoyed a nice conversation during dinner and of course Lilly talked away about her being able to sleep in her own room tomorrow night. After dinner and I was cleaning up Edward got Lilly settled with a DVD in the living room so we could talk to Charlie.

I made some coffee and we sat at the kitchen table. "Ok Dad I am sorry if you are worried about what we have to talk to you about but I couldn't say anything in front of Lilly. On Sunday when the guys came over to put the new floor in there was a surprise visit. Tyler happened to be one of the guys putting in the floor.

At that point Charlie got up and said "WHAT! Did he hurt you Bells, What did he say? Are you ok? why wasn't I told this before now?"

"Dad calm down please. Edward was here with me so nothing happened. He was out with Lilly and I felt really weird and nervous so I asked him to come back before they showed up. He wants to meet with me and talk. Apparently we have some air to clear up and I think he wants to apologize. I am not sure how I feel about that I am still very upset and mad at him for what he did. I know I need to settle this asap and I rather do this quickly so when I take a few days for myself I will be able to relax. I am just so scared on what his reaction will be concerning Lilly. Personally I do not want him in my life but can I just do that to Lilly and let her never know her father. Oh I forgot to tell you that I want to have a couple of days with Lilly relaxing and then Edward and I was thinking about doing something just the two of us on the weekend. I wanted to ask you if that was ok and if you were going to be working this weekend. "

"Well Bells you do have to tell him and see from his reaction what will happen. If Edward cant be there I will because you are not meeting him alone. He can be playing the sympathy card and then turn around and attack you again. Bells about this weekend you are an adult and whatever you want to do you don't have to ask my permission. Unfortunately I am working all weekend but maybe you can ask Esme and carlisle if they could watch Lilly. I know she enjoys going over there. Just be careful on what you do if you get my drift and Edward do not hurt her! She has been through enough already."

"Chief Swan I would never hurt Bella at all. I cared for her a lot. When I make reservations for this weekend I will make sure I get 2 rooms so you do not need to worry. I give you my full permission that if I do hurt your daughter you can do whatever you feel necessary to me."

"Edward I trust you with my daughter and granddaughter immensely just don't screw it up. Getting 2 rooms is up to the two of you and like I said you are both adults, just act responsible."

He then left to go upstairs and left Edward and myself to talk about this weekend.

"Bella I am more than happy to get an additional room if that would make you feel comfortable. I can also ask my parents if they can watch Lilly. I am here for you so just let me know when you want tot alk to Tyler and I will be here. "

"Thanks Edward and I appreciate everything you do for me. Two rooms isn't necessary but I am not ready for sex yet. We are responsible adults and I don't want you wasting money needlessly. Why don't you call your Mom now so we know if she can watch Lilly before we make plans. I will text Tyler about meeting for lunch on Wednesday is that good for you?"

"Wednesday is fine because I do not need to be at hospital til 2pm for my long shift til Friday morning. I will call my mom and ask her about this weekend."

I text Tyler about meeting for lunch at the diner on Wednesday and he responded back that it was fine.

I heard Edward on the phone with his Mom and I swore I heard yelling and clapping. Edward was then rolling his eyes so I guess I was right. Esme and Alice are so similar its scary.

"Bella I want you to know that I will make reservations tomorrow and I will be a complete gentleman while we share a bed. The only thing I can not guarantee if make out sessions. I do not think I can resist them."

"Personally I am very glad you can not guarantee that."

The next day all the furniture came and Lilly was so excited. Everything looked great in her room and she slept in there for the first time.

Wednesday morning came so quickly and I was getting really nervous for my meeting with Tyler. I had no idea on how it would work out but Edward would be here with me and my dad was a phone call/text away. I decided last night that I didn't want to have an audience so I decided to make lunch at home and have Tyler came to my dad's house. I was going to drop Lilly off to Sue's house around 10am and come back and make a casserole for lunch. I had text Edward and Tyler the change in plans.

Edward came over around 11am to help me with lunch and I knew he could tell I was nervous. He was trying really hard to distract me so I wouldn't worry about it too much.

"Edward whatever is said today remember that I care for you very much and you are not to blame for any of this."

He nodded in agreement and then gave me a big hug and told me he was here for me. We were kissing in the kitchen when we heard the doorbell. I straightened myself out and went to answer the door. I let Tyler in and motioned into the living room. Edward was sitting on the couch with a drink in his hand when Tyler saw him.

"Cullen what are you doing here?"

Edward got up off the couch and came over to me and said,"I am here because Bella needs me to be here Crowley."

The oven timer went off and I went into the kitchen to get casserole out of oven. The guys followed me and I told them to sit down while I put lunch on the table.

We all sat down to eat and everyone seemed to be enjoying the meal.

"Bella this is really good."

"Thank you Tyler I just thought it would be better to air out our dirty laundry in private vs other residents of Forks hearing about it."

"That's true but when I first got your text about the change in plans I thought you had done it for another reason. I guess I was wrong. So are you and Cullen together now? How ironic he wouldn't give you the time of day in high school and that's why you came onto me at that party."

Edward jumped out of his seat and growled,"Tyler don't push any buttons here if you don't want to get hurt. Bella and I are none of your business."

"Tyler how dare you come here and accuse me of such a thing. First of all I had no intentions besides talking to you about changing plans to here. What did you think I was going to do have sex with you again. It was the worse experience in my life and I didn't even get any pleasure out of it not that you would of even cared. Why would I want to experience that again. You have to make yourself feel better by turning it around and blaming me. If you and Eric didn't put anything in my drink to make me sleepy I would of never went with you. The only reason I went with you was because I needed some air and to think. You played on my insecurities about Edward and took advantage of me. I tried to get you to stop when I realized what you were doing but I wasn't strong enough. You left bruises on me that lasted for weeks. If I had gone to the police at that time you would have been in jail. How could you do that to me Tyler. You ruined my life and made me feel like I was trash not worthy of anyone. Do you know how that made me feel and how it still affects me. I don't owe you anything about Edward and I but yes we are trying to build a relationship. We have talked over everything and if though I am totally still broken he is willing to be here for me... I have no idea what I have done to deserve him but I am willing to take a chance. All the time I was in Phoenix guys came up to me and were interested but I was too frightened because of you to do anything or go out. So while you have been enjoying yourself with Lauren and who knows who else I have not been. All I have been doing is trying to get myself through College and take care of my baby girl."

I do want to apologize to you Bella but I also thought we would hook up again and I thought that is what you wanted to and thats why you changed the plans. I am sorry if thinking the wrong thing. Baby Girl Bella?"

"yes Tyler the only thing I got out of our ordeal is my daughter which you fathered. I don't expect or want anything from you but I thought you should know about her. I can't believe you thought we would hook up after what you put me through. You attacked me and made me feel worthless. It was a worse feeling than when my mom left me and never came back. I tried to think of what I did to God or anyone that this would of happened to me. Edward treats me like I am a princess and worth something. I do not even want you near my daughter at all but I am obligated to tell you so I have no regrets later. You will definitely have to show me a better you before I will even let you near my daughter. You may have contributed to her conception but you are not her father. Tyler can you please leave now you are not worthy to me to tell you anymore about Lilly. Just please leave."

As I was saying all of this to Tyler Edward was right next to me with his arm around me giving me support. I was close to losing it very shortly and I needed to be strong in front of Tyler.

"Believe me I had no idea my actions had affected you so badly. To think I am a father is beyond belief but I don't know what to do about it. When I saw you the other day I saw how you have become a very sexy woman and really wanted to hook up with you again and maybe have a little fun. I didn't know Edward would be here"

"You are crazy and demented if you thought I would want a second performance. Now I asked you to leave and I think you should comply to my wishes."

"I will leave Bella but please listen. I don't even remember what I was feeling back then but I do remember having a good time and I just thought you did too. I don't know if I can handle having a daughter in my life right now. I know that sounds terrible and rude but I have had a rough time the last couple of years. I got into a bad scene with drugs and I am just now trying to get my life back together. I just got together with Lauren and I know she doesn't even like kids."

"You just got together with Lauren and you came here wanted to fuck Bella. How wrong is that Tyler. You do know that I work with Lauren at the hospital and I have no problem giving her any of this information."

"Edward please I am trying to get my life back together and Lauren has helped me so much. I need her right now please don't tell her."

"Ok Tyler I won't tell her on one condition. You leave Bella and Lilly alone for now. I don't want you to come in contact with either of them. If you clean yourself up down the road and Bella decides to give you another chance if you are interested in seeing Lilly it will be discussed at that time. Right now you have no interest in them at all. You give up your parental rights to Lilly all together and Bella has the final decision whether she gives you another chance with Lilly or not. If you agree to this I will have my lawyer type this up so we have no problems down the road if you decide to go back to your drug past. Do I make myself clear."

Tyler didn't know what to say to that. In a way he knew Edward was right and that this was the right thing to do. He wouldn't be able to handle the pressure of this situation and stay clean from drugs.

"Ok Edward and Bella you have yourself a deal. I do not think I could take the extra pressure right now anyway. I am not saying Lilly would be any pressure but all of us dealing with this would be an extra pressure and I don't want to risk anyone if I couldn't handle it. Have the papers drawn up and I will sign them. I think I will leave now but before I go I really want you Bella to understand that I am sorry for what I did to you. I didn't mean for it to ruin your life. I hope you and Edward have a great life together. Take care!"

With that last statement Tyler Crowley walked out of my dad's house and hopefully my life. I got up and went to Edward and sat on his lap. I was shaking and crying so much but Edward just sat there and hugged me.

"Edward I appreciate everything you did today for me but I also really need my daddy. Can you call him for me and please don't be offended."

"Bella I already called him and he should be here shortly and there would be no way I would be offended at all. Shhh baby everything is fine now."

Just then the front door opened and I saw my dad walk in and I jumped off of Edward and ran to him yelling,"Daddy, Daddy I love you!"

He hugged me so tight and I know he was looking at Edward over my shoulder having a silent conversation. I looked up at my dad and he was crying just as much as I was.

"I love you Daddy and I am so sorry for running away. I should of stayed and told you everything that happened. You would of put him in jail for me. When I was talking to Tyler I realized that he was to blame not me and he took advantage of me and I should of talked to you and I am so sorry I didn't. I kept Lilly away from you when I didn't need to. I just felt so ashamed and alone and I thought that maybe there was something wrong with me because my mom left me too. Since I have come home I have realized that I did nothing wrong in that situation and I shouldn't be ashamed to go to family and friends when I needed them. Please for give me dad and don't be too disappointed in me."

"Oh Bella I could never ever be disappointed in you. I forgave you a long time ago and we all do thing we are not happy about but we get over them and move on. That is what you need to do baby you need to move on. You have a beautiful little girl who probably at this time is getting so spoiled by Sue and Leah, you have Edward who seemed to care a lot about you and you have your family and friends who are always here for you. You have been so strong for a long time you need to relax and let us help you take care of everything. I love you too baby girl and always will. Do you realize you are the best thing to happen to me and I would never be disappointed in anything you do."

all of us was know crying even Edward was teary and we just collapsed on the couch and relaxed. Such an emotional day and I feel bad for Edward because he has to go to work soon.

"Edward when do you have to leave for work today."

"I should leave in about 1 hour. I can call in and tell them I will be late if you need me."

"NO Edward I can't ask you to do that. I am so exhausted from today I think when you leave I will take a nap before Lilly comes homes. "

We settled back and cuddles on the couch for the next hour til Edward had to leave. I definitely need that relaxation time now for the next couple of days.


	8. Chapter 8

**I am sorry that this isn't an update to my story but it will be out very shortly. I have been discouraged with writing this story and not getting many reviews. I hope everyone likes my story and this next chapter will have some kind of lemon in it. My beta I was using is having computer problems so she hasn't been able to look at any of my chapters since chapter 4. If there is any betas out there willing to help me I would appreciate it. I get a lot of alerts out there but not many reviews. I would love to hear your thoughts in the story so I have motivation to continue which I really want to do. **

**Please forgive me for the update being so long. I promise you will have an update by the end of this week. **

**Thanks so much**

**Barb**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

**Ok here is the awaited chapter and it is way longer than my other chapters. I just didn't feel right about separating it. If there is any betas out there that would be willing to look over these chapters for me please pm me. My beta is still having problems with her computer. As always please review and let me know how I am doing. This chapter was tough for me because there are some lemons and its my first one so I hope it turns out alright.**

**I forgot to mention last chapter that there is a link on my profile on Lilly's room and links concerning this chapter as well. There is a link on Bella's gift from Edward and pictures from the Bed and Breakfast Inn. I hope you enjoy this chapter and as always please review!**

After Edward left for work, I took a nap and I was thinking on how emotional the last couple of days have been. I am glad that the situation with Tyler is over and now I can go and enjoy myself a little bit before I have to concentrate on my new job.

Alice, Rose, Lilly and I are heading to Seattle tomorrow and we will stay overnight and come back Friday afternoon. I will miss Edward but in order for him to get off Saturday thru Monday he had to work from today through Friday at 2pm. Anyway I need my time with my girls. We are going to have so much fun and Lilly can't wait. She says she can't wait to have a big girl sleepover. She is so funny sometimes.

Alice and Rose came over in the morning at 7am. They were bringing breakfast and we would eat on the way. It takes a couple of hours to get to Seattle and of course Alice says we need to go shopping too. I wanted to take Lilly to Pike Place and the kids museum tomorrow. We were also going to order in tonight and have our BIG GIRL sleepover.

Once we got to Seattle I texted Edward to let him know we got here and what hotel we were in just in case. Alice decided we need to go shopping first so we headed to the mall. We got Lilly some more clothes for school and I needed a couple of things also. I also wanted to get some sexy things for our trip. I wasn't sure what would happen this weekend but I needed to show Edward that I was serious about this relationship and that I appreciated his patience. I think after settling everything with Tyler I was able to relax a lot more and understand it wasn't my fault. It was Tyler being a jerk and taken advantage of me. If I came home and told my dad he would have been arrested I am sure of it. 'Bella we are looking forward not back'

"Alice I wanted to get a few things for my trip with Edward. Do you think you can help me out with that and maybe Rose can take Lilly to a store so she doesn't see anything she shouldn't?"

Alice stood there gaping at me and then jumping up and down saying yeahhhh!

"Alice I am not sure what will happen but I want to be prepared just in case"

After we finished shopping for Lilly and myself Rose saw a 'Build a bear" store so she took Lilly there to get her started on that. Alice and I went to Victoria Secret and she made me try on a lot of different nightgowns and bra and panties sets. Rose had told me earlier that sometimes we need something just to make ourselves feel good. This definitely worked because I felt so pretty and sexy in them. I wasn't sure if Edward would even see them but I felt good in them.

When we met up with Rose and Lilly it was time for lunch and I wanted her to see Pike Place and eat something there so we headed back to the car. We reached Pike's place and took Lilly to eat at a café and after that we walked around to all the shops. We have such a great time and Lilly was so thrilled with all the grocers and all the stands.

We headed back to the hotel around 4pm and all of us were so tired. Lilly went to take a nap so she could stay up late. Alice, Rose and I were sitting having some tea and some cookies and they started asking about my relationship with Edward.

"I don't know what to say girls we are doing really well and we miss each other all the time. I am looking forward to spending time with him this weekend. He has been so patient with me and I feel kind of guilty with all the drama I brought into his life. I just want to show him that I am serious about this relationship and I appreciate everything he has done for me. I just don't know how I will be doing this. I don't think I can have sex with him yet but we get so passionate when we kiss and I have all these feelings I just don't know what to do with. I must sound stupid to you girls who have a very physical relationship with Emmett and Jasper."

"First of all Bella you do not sound stupid, you have dealt with a lot and you are just trying to move on with your life. You do not need to have sex either to show Edward how you feel. Just talk to him and explain how you feel. You can also start experimenting with each other's parts if you know what I mean. Just do what feels right for you and go with it. I know you don't have the experience for anything but all you need to do is just feel and everything will work out. We are just so happy for both of you so just be happy."

"Thanks Alice I am very happy"

Just then my phone beeped. "Speaking of the best boyfriend ever!"

Rose and Alice rolled their eyes.

B.

_Hey Bella hope you are having a good time! Can't wait til this weekend to see you again!_

E.

E.

_I am having a good time with my girls! I got some things for this weekend I can't wait til this weekend also. Got to get back but see you tomorrow!_

B.

By that time Lilly got up and we decided to order some Seattle pizza and watch some Disney movies. We painted out toenails and fingernails. We curled Lilly's hair and played Candy Land. We had a great time and before we knew it Lilly was fast asleep. She wanted to sleep out in the living room with us so I pulled out the sleeper bed in couch and she fell asleep. We watched some chick flicks and we all went to sleep ourselves.

Next morning we headed over to the children's museum and Lilly was so excited to see all the displays. We headed home after that and we got back to Charlie's around 1pm. I text Edward to let him know we were home.

Lilly and I just plopped down and fell asleep on couch we were so tired. Edward text me earlier saying he was going home to get some sleep and would be over around 5pm so we could get something to eat and take Lilly over his parents house. We would travel to Port Angeles in morning.

Edward came over and we got all Lilly's bags and went to the diner to eat. Lilly was talking nonstop to Edward about all the fun she is going to have at my parents. Alice and Rose even said they would come over.

When we dropped Lilly off at Edward's parents we stay for a while and visited. I warned Lilly that she better behave for Esme and Carlisle. She promised she would.

We got back to Charlie's house and he still wasn't back yet from his date with Sue. I convinced Edward to come in for a little while and watch some tv. We found some CSI reruns on tv and cuddled watching them. After 10 mins I turned to Edward and said,

"Edward can we talk for a minute?"

He turned sideways to look at me with concern. He touched my cheek and I leaned into him.

"Ever since I had that conversation with Tyler I have felt different. There was this heavy weight on me wondering what would happen with him. Now that it is settled with him I feel somewhat lighter, stronger and more in control of myself. My feelings are not all over the place anymore and I feel that I found a treasure chest with being with my friends again and especially you. You had the chance to run away with all my drama but you choose to help me and stick by me. I can't even express what that means to me Edward. You make me feel alive again and so good about myself that I feel like a new person. I am sorry that I have put our relationship on hold for awhile but I am ready to move on. I want to be with you and show you what you mean to me but I am not sure how far I can go right now. Just know that I am serious about this relationship with you and I enjoy every minute we are together and I will treasure this weekend so much."

Edward had such a big smile on his face and he leaned in and kissed me. It started chastely and was building up passionately. He pulled back and sighed and put his forehead to mine.

"Bella I would like nothing more than to be with you completely but I will not push you to do something you are not ready for. I know your only experience with sex was a violent act and I plan on showing you how special and wonderful it can be with that certain someone. I care deeply for you and I told you I would wait forever if I had to for you. These dilemmas have only made our relationship stronger and more special because we dealt with them together. I am so glad you feel better before we go away because this way you will enjoy yourself more. I better get going so you can get your rest. We are going to have a great time and yes we will be alone but there is no pressure. We will just go with whatever happens."

I nodded and got up and walked him to the door. He gave me a quick kiss and walked to his car. He waved goodbye with his lights and I stood there til he was gone. I hated to be by myself in the house but I knew my dad would be home soon. I went upstairs to get into my pajamas and came down to have a cup of tea before going to bed.

Charlie came home shortly after that and we talked for a bit and I told Charlie how nervous I was about my weekend but knew I needed to do it. "Bells, you are an adult woman with a child of your own and you have feelings too. You need to go and enjoy yourself. I am not telling you to be intimate with Edward but just feel again. You have been through so much you need some "you time" and if that means being with Edward then just do it. Just be careful and do what feels right."

Edward came over at 9am with bagels and coffee and we sat at the table and ate and talked about what we wanted to do this weekend. I was very nervous but excited at the same time. It was just Edward whom I have felt comfortable with all these weeks.

The ride to Port Angeles was quiet but nice and we listened to some great songs on his ipod. Before I knew it we were almost to Port Angeles. Edward said we were staying at a Bed and Breakfast Inn called "Eden by the Sea." I heard great things about this place and couldn't wait to see it.

As we pulled up to the "Eden of the sea" bed and breakfast inn I was overwhelmed. This place was gorgeous and I couldn't believe that Edward spent all this money on me. I would have to talk to him about that later. I know that he wants me to have a great time but we didn't need to come to any place fancy. We walked in to the lobby and it was fantastic. I was completely overwhelmed with the beauty of this place. He checked us in and then we had to drive to our cottage. We got there and Edward came around and opened my door-always the gentleman!

We walked in hand in hand and once the door was opened we walked in and I couldn't believe this. It was beautiful inside and the cottage was called The Garden Room which had a beautiful view of the ocean. The view was fantastic and there was French doors that went out to a balcony with such a romantic view. I walked around for a while and look at the bedroom with a gigantic bed. I saw the adjoining bathroom which was huge and there was a hot tub/jacuzzi in there with a beautiful mountain view. I wonder if I can do something like that with Edward. Was he counting on that when he booked this room? Was he counting on having sex this weekend when he booked it? I don't think Edward would be that presumptuous considering he has been so patient with me. I know I wanted to show him how grateful I am but I do not think I can have sex yet. Am I ready for that?

I walked back in the sitting room and Edward was waiting for me. I went out onto the balcony and just stood there thinking of what I was going to say. Just then I felt his arms around me kissing my neck and asking if anything is wrong.

I turned around and faced him and he could see I had a concerned look on my face.

"Bella what is it? Did I do something wrong?"

"Edward Anthony Cullen you certainly did. Why did you spend so much money on this beautiful place just for me. I don't deserve all of this."

He put his forehead against mine and sighed. Then he looked up at me and stared me in the eyes as he said,

"Bella I wanted to do something nice for you so you can enjoy yourself. I know this room is a little extreme and on the romantic side but this was not my first pick. When I booked the place I picked just an average room that I thought you would feel comfortable in. They called me a couple of days ago and said they made a mistake and overbooked the type of room I wanted and offered me to upgrade our room to this at no extra cost. I was worried you would think I had other plans on the agenda that involved things you were not comfortable with and I was worried. Please believe me that this room wasn't my first pick and if you are too uncomfortable we can certainly leave if you want but Bella you could really enjoy yourself here especially in the hot tub in the bathroom. You can indulge yourself and have a nice bubble bath and read or we can relax on this balcony. Like I said last night whatever happens between us happens and no pressure, ok."

I looked at him and got up on my tiptoes and kissed him and said, "Thank you Edward for always thinking of me and I am glad you didn't have to spend more for this room. It is beautiful and we can relax and enjoy ourselves. I am fine and I trust you even though a portion of me was concerned you had other plans but I know you were sincere last night when we talked so "Thank you Edward Anthony Cullen you make me so happy!"

He smiled and leaned in to kiss me and we were lip locked for a good while. It was starting to get passionate and Edward pulled back. He took my hand and led me to a lounge chair. He sat down and spread his legs and patted for me to sit between them. I sat down and sat back against him and just sighed and looked at the beautiful view.

"It's such a beautiful view out there. This is so great and I feel so relaxed."

"You are just as beautiful as the view out there Bella. I am so glad you are alright with everything. We will have a great time."

I nodded and smiled, kissed him on the lips and said 'thank you!'

We sat like that for a while just looking out at the mountains and then Edward kept on kissing my neck, collarbone distracting me from the view. I really cared a lot for Edward and just wanted to be close to him. I felt something poke me in the back side and I smiled that I had affected him like that. I turned slightly so I could sit on his lap sideways. I moved a little bit over his excitement and he groaned. I started kissing him and was pulling on his hair. Our tongues asked permission to engage and they started doing their dance together that got Edward and I a little more than excited. Even though we both had clothes on I could feel his excitement close to where he wanted to be. I decided to just not worry about anything and just feel like Alice told me.

He picked me up and carried me inside to the bedroom. He laid me down on the bed and we continued kissing. We were touching all over and I was so overwhelmed. I started to put my hands under his shirt and feel his chest. I started to unbutton his shirt and he was unbuttoning mine. I undid my bra clasp for him and his eyes widen and said, "beautiful". I desperately wanted to touch his endowed member so I undid his button on his jeans. He looked at me and I nodded. We were now in our underwear and I was so nervous. I wasn't sure what I was doing and what I wanted to do. I needed to talk to Edward before this went any further.

"Edward can we talk for a bit. I know I am sorry but I need to talk to you before we continue."

"Sure Bella are u ok. Did I go too far? I am sorry."

"I really want to do this Edward. I want to be with you but I am not ready for the complete act. I am inexperienced and I am nervous but I really want this and I am confused. Alice told me to not think and to just feel and believe me that's what I want to do but I am afraid I will not do things right and you will realize I am not worth it. Can we just start slow with the touching and go from there but I will need to know what you want or need me to do. I really want to feel you and touch you."

"It's ok Bella, we can just lay here and hold one another. We can experiment with touching each other certain places but I am not going to run. Remember I told you I was only with Tanya a couple of times so I really do not have many experiences. We will work it together ok. "

"Thanks Edward I really appreciate your kindness and patience. Would you mind if we just laid here holding each other in our underwear and talk about what your plans are while we are here. I am telling you now though I really want to try out that hot tub later!"

He kissed my forehead and then my lips and he held me so tight.

"Well I thought this afternoon we could go walk around to all the shops in the town of Port Angeles and then come back and get ready to go to dinner. I had made reservations at this Italian restaurant for around 7pm tonight. Then when we get back maybe you can soak in the hot tub. You can do it by yourself or if you want me to join you I can but only if you feel comfortable."

"That sounds nice Edward but do we have some time to just hold each other now for a while. I am really enjoying this a lot being here with you. I feel so safe with you that I never want to let you go."

"I like holding you like this too Bella more than you know."

We laid like that for a while until my stomach started to growl.

"Ok I guess its time we got up and got dressed and fed the monster that's in your stomach."

We got up and got dressed and was ready to leave our room when I stopped Edward and he turned and looked at me.

"Edward I am sorry about before and I just wanted to say I really love what you have planned." I leaned up and kissed him and he grabbed my hips and deepens the kiss. We backed away and went out the door.

We enjoyed an afternoon walking around to the different shops and eating at an outside café. We also headed over to Harbinger Winery. We got a tour of the grounds and tasted some wine and it was a very relaxed time. We bought some bottles so we could take back home with us. We walked back to town and went into some more shops. I wanted to visit the bookstore to see if I could use anything for my room at school. We also found an antique store where I definitely wanted to come back to when I got my own place.

"Edward do you think I made a mistake by doing Lilly's room now and not waiting to see if I got my own place. We spent all this money on it and she does love it but if I decide to move out I don't want it to be wasted."

We stopped walking and saw a bench so we sat down.

"Lilly needed her own space and so do you. Both of you were too cramped in that room. She is starting school soon and will need the space especially if she wants to have friends over. If you decide to move you could take the furniture with you and wall decorations with you or you can leave it for when she goes sees Charlie. Everything will work out fine so don't worry about it."

I felt better and he kissed me on lips and we got up and headed back to our room. We relaxed for a bit watching a movie on hallmark channel.

Edward said our reservations were for 7pm. I decided to get up and get ready. I pulled out my black dress and my heels. I brought some accessories with me but forgot a necklace.

When I was ready I carried my heels out til we were ready to leave.

Edward looked up and saw me and smiled.

"Bella you look so beautifully breathtaking."

"Thank you Edward"

We stopped at the restaurant" Bella Italia" when we walked in the hostess was ogling Edward. I gave her a nasty glare and she snubbed me and then took us to our table. We a had a corner table near a fireplace and it was very cozy and romantic. Edward pulled out my chair just like a gentleman and kissed my forehead before sitting down himself.

"This is so beautiful here Edward. Thank you for bringing me here."

"It's my pleasure and nothing is as beautiful as you are tonight."

I blushed and then we looked at our menus. It was hard to decide what to order because everything looked so good. I decided to get Chicken Marsala with a side of penne.

Edward ordered for both of us and also ordered some wine. We were drinking wine and having a nice conversation. All of a sudden Edward got really nervous.

"Bella I have something for you and I know we haven't dated for a long time but I wanted to give you something that expresses my feelings for you. I hope you don't think its too soon and will accept it.

He took out a blue box, which I knew was from Tiffany's, and opened the box to reveal a beautiful necklace that took my breath away. It was a gold heart dangled on a chain that had pearls on it throughout the gold chain.

"Oh Edward it is so beautiful but I am not sure I can accept it. I know it had to cost a lot of money and I just don't know. No one has ever bought me jewelry before like this."

"Please Bella accept this gift from me because I want to show you how I feel. I know you don't like people spending a lot of money on you but it would give me great pleasure if you would accept this from me. You deserve to be treated to nice things and I just care for you so much. It would mean a lot to me if you accept this necklace from me and when you wear it think of me when we are apart."

"I will accept this on one condition that you agree that I would buy you something to think of me when we are apart and you put this on my neck now."

"You do not have to buy me anything because I always think of you when we are apart. "

He got up and came over to me and pushed my hair to the side, kissed the side of my neck, put the necklace on me and then kissed the back of my neck where the clasp was. I sighed from all his touches and kisses. He really will be the death of me.

We finished our dinner and then walked back to our room. As soon as we were in our room I turned around and said to Edward.

"I had a great time tonight and everything was perfect and very special. You really do spoil me Edward and I am not really used to it but I am enjoying it. Thank you!"

I leaned in and kissed him and since I had heels on I didn't have to reach on my tippy toes. I put my arms around his neck and played with his hair at the nape of his neck and he has his hands on my back. We opened up and enjoyed the kiss til we were out of breath.

"Would it be alright if I went to take a bath in that gorgeous bathtub. Would you be alright with that?"

"Of course Bella enjoy anything you want here. I will just watch some sports channel while you are doing that."

"Thank you Edward!"

I kissed him chastely and went into the bedroom to undress and get ready for my bath. I really wanted to enjoy this with Edward but was concerned if I was ready or not. I got in the tub and relaxed and OMG the view was breathtaking. There were beautiful mountains as far as you can see. I felt guilty on not having Edward here with me and he has done a lot for me. Maybe this will show him I want to move forward. I had my phone with me in case Esme called about Lilly. I giggled to myself on what I was about to do.

_E._

_Do you know anyone that can keep me company in this big ol' tub. I am so lonely in here!_

_B._

I heard his phone ding that he had a text message come through and in a matter of 10 seconds he was standing in the doorway. I was laughing so hard and Edward had this worried look on his face.

"Bella What are you doing to me. You can't send a message like that and have it not affect me."

I looked down a little and smiled. Edward had a little problem down below. I giggled because I really didn't think I could affect him like that.

"Well Edward if you keep on standing there looking like that you will not enjoy the beautiful view over here and the water will get cold. I need something or someone to warm me up. Do you think you can help me with that?"

I never saw Edward move so fast as he did getting his clothes off. He got down to his boxers and he looked at me and said," Are you sure Bella?"

"Yes Edward I am sure please hurry before I lose my nerve. I am nervous but I do want this. Please?"

He took down his boxers and was I shocked at what I saw. He is very well endowed if you get my drift. I licked my lips and looked at him up and down. He smirked and came over and climbed behind me. He wrapped his arms around me and I sighed and leaned back into him. We looked at the view out the window and it was so romantic. I am so glad I took the chance to have Edward with me sharing this. I am really falling so hard for him and it scares me a little but I know he would never hurt me like Tyler did and the others. They were only after one thing and Edward has showed me continuously that he wants me as a person not just me as a female able to satisfy him. That means more to me then he knows. I need to communicate more with him.

All of a sudden I felt him kissing my neck and caressing my stomach where his hands were.

"Edward this feels so good sharing this with you. I know deep in my heart that you really care for me and are not like the others only after one thing. That means everything to me that you want me and to know me as person before your own gratifications. Please touch me Edward and I want to touch you too. Can we experiment with each other bodies without actually having sex. I just don't know if I am ready for that but I am desperately ready for you to touch me."

I turned my head to look at him and he kissed me very roughly and passionately. He brought is hands up to touch my breasts and I arched my back and moaned. I never felt anything like that before. His kisses started to travel to my neck and collarbone area. His other hands travel on my stomach and were traveling south. I can't describe the feeling I was feeling because it was so amazing. Every nerve in my body was on edge and my whole body was tingling. This felt so wonderful and all I could do was moan. I never wanted this feeling to end. All of a sudden I felt Edward touch my clit and my lips and I was on fire. I jumped at the feeling and something was building inside of me. His hands were gliding up and down on my lips and his thumb was rubbing over my clit. I knew I was building and I was going to climax any minute now. Edward continued with his kisses all over and whispered in my ear, "Bella relax and forget about everything that has happened and just enjoy this feeling and let everything go. I want to see your beautiful face when you cum and I want to hear my name yelling from those luscious lips of yours."

It seems that was all I needed to take me over the edge and I yelled Edward's name as I had my first orgasm from a man and it was the best thing of my life.

When I came down from my high I looked at Edward and he had such a big smile on his face. I started to cry because I didn't know what I did to deserve this man but I definitely wasn't letting him go.

"Bella what's wrong, did I hurt you?"

"Edward these are happy tears. That had to be the best thing that has ever happened to me besides the birth of Lilly. I am so happy Edward and I don't know what I did to deserve you.

Edward laughed at that and just kissed me again.

"Bella you are beautiful when you cum and yell my name. I have never seen anything so sexy in my life besides looking at you of course. I can't believe Tyler didn't think about your needs when he attacked you. I am so proud I was able to give you such pleasure."

The water was getting cold and I shivered so we got out and dried off.

After we all dried off we both stood staring at each other. I was looking at him from head to toe and realized I was licking my lips. Little Eddie was really looking delicious but I didn't know if I could do it but Edward deserved some pleasure too. I walked over to him with this new found naughty Bella and kissed me with all I had. I wanted to thank him for showing me that there really is some men out there who want more from a woman than sex. He has been so patient with me and I wanted to show him how I feel. As I was kissing him I reached down and stroked him and he moaned into my mouth. That right there made my girly bits tingle again. I got the little amount of precum from tip and rolled it around. He was thrusting at this point into my hand. I backed away from our kiss and looked him straight in the eye and told him to lean against the wall and relax and enjoy.

He moved to the wall and leaned back and I started kissing him all the way down from his chin to his chest and heading down to his v that leads to promise land. I then caress his _hard_ member and touched his soft balls. I was so aroused touching him and then I couldn't help myself I took him all the way in my mouth and before you knew it he was having his own mind blowing orgasm.

When I stood up he grabbed me and kissed me so hard, lifted me up and carried me to bed. We laid together and just stared at each other and kissed off and on and cuddled.

We fell asleep in complete bliss just spooning each other and I never felt better before.

When we got up the next morning we got up and got dressed and was going to venture to get something to eat before we went to out ferry ride. I was waiting for Edward to get done getting dressed and when he came out I just stared at him. He was looking so sexy in his low hung black jeans and white button down shirt. I walked right up to him and hugged him tight.

"What is wrong Bella? Are you ok?"

"I am perfect thanks to you. I have never felt so cared for and felt so safe before in my life. My dad does protect me but since I was away I always felt alone like no one cared about me. Ever since you came back into my life I have felt whole again. Last night was the best night of my life so far. I just don't know how to explain to you how special it was. You made me feel things that I never thought I would ever feel. Thank you Edward!"

At this point I am almost in tears and Edward touches my cheek and wipes tears away and says, "Oh Bella you also make me feel things I never thought I would feel and I love being with you. I want to always be here for you. "

"Edward do you think before we go out that I could call Lilly. I should of called her last night to say good night to her."

"Of course Bella you don't have to ask me something like that, just tell me you want to call Lilly."

I gave him a quick kiss and went to grab my phone. I dialed Esme's number.

"Hello"

"Hi Esme its Bella. How is Lilly doing? Is everything ok?"

"Everything is great Bella and she is a real charmer. She went to bed with no problem last night. Alice and Rose are coming over today and I think we are going shopping and then to lunch somewhere. Would you like to talk to her?"

"Yes please I miss her so much."

"Hello"

"Mommy I miss you so much. What are you doing?"

"I miss you too baby. Edward and I are having a great time. We went to the shops and looked around. I found a nice antique shop that has a lot of nice stuff in it for when we get our own house. We are going on a ferry ride today and we will take lots of pictures for you to see. Maybe we can bring you back with us the next time."

"Oh I will like that. I am having the bestest time here with Esme and Carlisle. Alice and Rose are coming and we going shopping today. Isn't that the greatest. I like all your friends mommy they are lots of fun! How is Edward can I talk to him too?"

Wow that surprised me that she wanted to talk to Edward. She really likes him a lot.

"Of course you can Lilly. Lilly you like Edward a lot don't you. I know he is around a lot now and mommy and he are close friends but how do you really feel about him?"

"I love Edward mommy. He is so funny and smart and he makes you so happy. I never saw you smile so much when we were in our old place. He likes to read me stories too, I like that a lot."

"I like him a lot too Lilly. Let me go get him ok."

"Ok Mommy!"

I went to find Edward and he was waiting on couch.

"Edward can you come here please. Lilly wants to talk to you."

The look on his face was surprised and he had a big smile on his face.

"Hi Lilly. How are you? Oh that's great are you having a good time? Yes I know my mom is a very special person and I am glad you like being there with them. Yes I will definitely bring you back here next time with your mom. Ok."

All of a sudden Edward's face looked shocked.

"I love you too Lilly! Be a good girl and we will see you soon. Here is your mom."

I was close to tears when I heard Edward tell Lilly he loves her, I am sure she told him the same thing. Could I love Edward too?

"Hey baby we have to get going because Edward made reservations but we will see in soon ok. Love ya baby."

"Love ya too mommy!"

I closed my phone and just looked at Edward with tears in my eyes. I went over to him and hugged him very tightly.

We backed away from each other, he kissed me on the lips and said, "let's go have some fun!"

We left to grab something to eat at the main house so we could make our reservation on time. The ferry ride was so beautiful with the view and watching the whales in the water. We were on the deck just holding each other and I turned around to face him.

"Thank you for loving my daughter Edward. It means a lot to me that you and her have something special."

"She is a wonderful little girl Bella and you have done a great job with her. Anyway she isn't the only Swan that I love. I know we haven't known each other that long and you do not have to say it back but I do love you Bella Swan."

I had tears starting to fall and never in my life felt so much love as I did right now.

"Edward how do you know you love me. I never had any relationships so how do you know when you love someone."

"Well, I know I do not want to live without you, I think of you all the day even when I am working. I can't wait til I am with you again and I just adore you. I love everything about you. I feel whole when I am with you. When we kiss it feels like my heart will explode right out of my chest. I feel like I can't get enough of you and I am afraid when I wake up you will be gone."

"Well if that is what love is then I love you too Edward. You explained everything that I feel when it comes to you. I never want to live my life without you. I am so glad I came back home."

I was crying as I was saying this and he just grabbed me and kissed me as I was leaning against the railing. The kiss got very heated and we had to back off since there were children on ship.

We hugged after that and I really didn't want to let him go. The rest of the ride I was constantly touching him because never wanted to be without him.

I text Alice and Rose that we loved each other because I just had to share it with them. I was screaming inside that Edward Cullen actually loved me. I have never been loved by a man before besides my dad and that is totally different.

They texted me back congratulations and a scream as best they could word it. I felt on top of the world and nothing was going to bring me down. At least I hope not when we got back to reality. I knew I had to sit down and talk to Edward about Tanya before I went back to school since Kate's classroom was next to mine and I didn't know what she knew about Edward.

We ended up having a great time on the cruise and then we went back to our room to relax. We decided to order in and just enjoy a movie but I knew I needed to talk to Edward.

We ordered some Chinese food for dinner and it was so good. We had an enjoyable conversation during our dinner getting to know a little more about each other. I told Edward I was a little nervous about starting my new job but was excited about it at the same time.

"Edward I think we need to talk about our past relationships/hook ups before moving on. I especially want to know about Tanya because I work with her sister Kate and even though Kate was totally different than Tanya I don't want any surprises. When I was living in Phoenix and going to school at the university I did try and date a little bit but I never had any relationships. Guys always just wanted to take me out to a nice dinner and then try to get into my pants later. I did some kissing and making out but nothing serious. I never had an orgasm until last night except for BOB which I always thought was you anyway. So can you tell me about Tanya and any other exes you may have out there?"

"Who is BOB and why were you thinking of me when you were with him?"

I laughed so hard because Edward had no idea of what Bob was? The look on his face was priceless and I should take a picture for Alice.

"Edward relax Bob is my vibrator I used to use. You know Battery Operated Boyfriend!

"OMG Bella I was thinking something totally different."

Then a smile was on his face.

"You thought of me when you were using your vibrator?"

"Yes Edward I always thought of you. Now stop smirking and tell me your past."

"Well Tanya and I did hook up during High School but that was only because I didn't think I was good enough for you. After we graduated and you left, we all went away to college and she followed me to Dartmouth and tried to start a relationship with me. We did hook up at Dartmouth but I was never happy with her because all I wanted was you but I didn't know what to do. No one knew where you were and I just tried to push it away and got into my studies and concentrated on that. Tanya was persistent though and followed me to Dartmouth and tried to get me to commit to a relationship. I did not want anything to do with that so eventually she left to follow someone else she met to Northwestern and I haven't seen her since."

"Were you ever intimate with her?"

"Unfortunately yes I was with her. I am sorry Bella but it was a low time in my life when I was away from my family and I was very lonely. We had too much to drink and one thing lead to another. I did know what was happening but all I could do is picturing you there instead of Tanya and I was able to get through it. I am sorry Bella you probably will think less of me now. That's why I say I don't deserve you."

"Edward you have nothing to be ashamed of because we weren't even together so there is nothing to apologize for. Tanya is a beautiful person and I can't imagine you thinking of me when you were with her. Well all this is in the past right and we can move on unless there were others that I should know about?"

"There are no others Bella. I just wanted to get home as soon as possible so I pushed myself to get through my studies. I don't think Kate has seen Tanya in a while so you should not have to worry about that."

We cuddled for a while and decided to head off to bed. We had to sign out in morning and we were going to stop at some of the shops again and bring something back for Lilly.

We changed for bed and I decided to give Edward a nice show our last night here. I put on one of my teddies I got when we went to Victoria secret. It was a beautiful midnight blue one where it flowed out under my breasts. When I walked into the bedroom, Edward was reading something and once he saw me he dropped the papers he was reading and his mouth dropped open.

"Bella you look beautiful and amazing. Come over here so I can admire you closer."

I moved to the bed and climbed in and Edward pulled me into him and held me tight.

He started kissing my neck and continuing up to my earlobe and around to my face and found my lips. The kiss was like heaven and I never wanted him to stop. His hands were all over me and the feeling was wonderful. He untied my teddy in the front and it opened up to reveal my very hardened nipples. We continued feeling each other and losing our clothes and we made love for the first time that night. It was the most magical night of my life. I knew then that I never wanted to be without Edward Anthony Cullen again.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey everyone thank you to whomever is reading my story. this chapter is a little shorter than the others. I just wanted to let you know I get all your reviews and appreciate every one of them.. I have to try harder to respond to all of them. To everyone that has reviewed Thank You very much for reading and reviewing my story. From here on out I will respond to reviews as soon as I get them. I really want to get my reviews up and my story out there so if anyone is an author please rec fic my story, I would really appreciate it. **

**My husband is currently in the hospital and I am writing this while I am here with him. He is getting better but there is a chance of surgery and his medical conditions aren't great to begin with so I pray everything will be ok. He is my life along with my daughter so he has to be ok.**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter.**

Chapter 10

I woke up around 3 am for some reason and just stared at Edward sleeping. Last night was so magical and unexpected. I didn't think I would be ready to have sex with Edward but it was perfect. The way he took care of me and was so gentle and caring it brought tears to my eyes. I never felt so loved before and so special. The way we moved with each other like we were meant to be. Our thrusts brought such pleasure to both of us as we came together.

I cuddled back down in bed and snuggled up to Edward.

"Bella are you ok?"

"Perfect Edward, I never have been better!"

I gave him a kiss and snuggled to him.

We left the following morning after we had breakfast. We stopped at a couple of stores to bring something for Lilly. We got a t-shirt for her from the bed and breakfast gift shop, took lots of pictures and got her a couple of books.

We got to Edward's parents place around 12:00 and as soon as the door opened we ran to each other. I never have been away from her this long.

We visited for a while with Esme and Carlisle before we headed back to Charlie's. She had a lot of bags and I swore I was going to give Alice a lecture on 'not going overboard'.

Charlie and Sue were just sitting down to lunch when we came back.

"Hey bells I just got back from my long shift, I didn't expect you back so soon. Did you have a good time."

"I hope we aren't interrupting anything dad!"

"I had a great time dad, very relaxing"

"Good to hear and no you are not interrupting anything. Sue was just here when I got home and made me lunch. "

I giggled since Charlie looked flustered. Sue was hiding her smile too. We chatted for a little while and decided to take lily's things to her room and put away.

Edward stayed for a while and hung out while we watched movies and ate junk food. We ordered Chinese food for dinner and just relaxed. Edward had to leave a little early at 9pm so he can get ready for work tomorrow. I still had a couple of days before I had to start my job.

The following morning Lilly and I was chilling out watching Spongebob Squarepants. Lilly loves that cartoon and it actually is pretty funny. Lilly was laughing so hard at something from the cartoon and all of a sudden she couldn't catch her breath. I immediately went right to her and rubbed her back to calm her down. She calmed down some and was relaxing better.

"Lilly are you ok, you scared Mommy!'

"I am ok Mommy and I am sorry I scared you.'

I went to the kitchen to get some water to drink for both of us and I heard Lilly gasping. I ran to the living room and she couldn't breathe. I scooped her up and ran to my car and buckled her in.

"Lilly baby it will be ok, I am taking you to see Edward and it will make it better."

I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Edward's cell. It went straight to voicemail. Dammit!

I then called Esme because I didn't have Carlisle's number.

"Bella how are you!"

"Esme I am so scared. Lilly can't breath and I am almost to hospital and Edward isn't answering his cell phone. Is Carlisle at the hospital today? Can you call him?"

"OMG Sweetie I will call Carlisle right now and have him meet you at the Emergency room and I am sure he can get hold of Edward. She will be fine Bella."

About 5 minutes later I pulled up to the Emergency Room and Carlisle was there. He said Edward was in surgery but as soon as he is done he will get him. He took Lilly right away back and started having someone get her vitals. I got a growl from Lauren as I walked by. I shook it off and just followed Carlisle.

Carlisle asked me all kinds of questions about what happened. He was able to give her a breathing treatment so she can calm down and breathe better. All of a sudden Edward ran in and said,

"OMG Lilly, Bella are you ok. When I got out of surgery and got the note that Lilly was in the ER I almost lost it. I was so scared."

He grabbed me and hugged me so tight because at that point the adrenaline wore off and I was just crying. I told him what happened in between cries as he rubbed my back. Edward and Carlisle was looking over some things about Lilly.

Just then Lauren came in with a clipboard and said to me,

"Since you are special enough to come straight back to a room instead of waiting like everyone else I need you to fill out these forms. Maybe I should flirt with Edward and maybe I will get somewhere in this place. I am sure he would appreciate someone like me compared to someone like you. You were always plain Bella and nothing special so I don't see how he is interested in you."

I just stood there for a second because I couldn't believe she was saying this. I thought she was with Tyler.

"You have some nerve mouthing off to me Lauren because if I could remember correctly you were the school's slut seducing the whole football team. Edward and I have a special relationship and not you or anyone else here in Forks is going to diminish it. Give me the damn paperwork and get out of my face. Say one more thing to me and I will not hesitate to tell the Cullens and have you fired."

Carlisle then came over and said, "You will not have to tell us Bella we heard the whole thing. Lauren what you did was unacceptable behavior for this hospital. If you want to go anywhere in this hospital you better apologize to Bella right now and I better not hear of another incident from you or you will be fired."

"I am so sorry Bella I don't what came over me. Tyler and I had an argument this morning and I am a little insecure today. Please forgive me?"

"Lauren I hope that is a sincere apology because I know how insecurity can feel. Just be patience with Tyler and communicate with each other and things will work out."

She nodded and handed me the paperwork and told me to drop it off at the desk once finished.

I looked over to Edward and he was livid but was trying to calm himself by talking to Lilly. I went over to him and gave him a hug and said everything is ok.

"Mommy I am sorry for scaring you. I feel better now."

"I am glad sweetie. I just love you so much and I was scared you were really sick. Edward what happened to her?"

"It seems that she had an asthma attack. Has she ever had that before in Phoenix?"

"She has had some allergies that bothered her that is why I got the hardwood floor in her room instead of carpet but never had an asthma attack."

"Well she seems to be doing ok now and we will send you home with some medicine and a nebulizer to give her treatments but we suggest you take her to see an allergy doctor to get a better picture. We have a good doctor here on staff that I can set up an appointment with. If you are ok with it I can see if she will come see her now."

"Edward that would be great and I really appreciate your advice. I know you feel that you shouldn't make any decisions concerning Lilly because she isn't your daughter but she is more your daughter than her father. Would you be able to stay here for a while when she is here?"

"Of course Bella there is no other place I rather be. Let me check my schedule and see if I have any other obligations today. I will always be there for you and Lilly." He kissed me and left to make some calls.

I looked at Lilly and she was resting comfortably so I sat in the chair and filled out the paperwork. I was almost done and Esme walked in.

"Oh Bella is she ok and how are you dear."

I got out of my chair and flung to her arms crying hysterically. She was rubbing my back and trying to calm me down.

"Oh Esme I was so scared and I didn't know what to do. She is my life and I couldn't bear it if something bad happened to her."

"I know how a mother's love is so emotional. We would die for our kids but when they are hurt or sick we wish we were in their place instead. You did a great job getting her here fast and calling me to contact Carlisle when you couldn't reach Edward. She will be fine now so don't you worry. I also heard what Lauren said to you and just know when someone hurts my children physically or emotionally my mama bear comes out so I scared her a little bit."

"Oh Esme you didn't have to do that. I am not your daughter and you shouldn't have to take care of me too."

"Bella you are my daughter and just because I didn't give birth to you doesn't mean I don't love you like my own. You have a rotten excuse of a mother and I have always thought of you as my own."

Tears streaming down my face even more I just held her and thanked her over and over. I called Charlie to tell him what happened and he was going to come over to hospital.

Edward came back with a Dr. Jenn Davis and she seemed very nice. She examined Lilly and said she should be tested to see what she is allergic to. Charlie came in and was listening and mentioned that before Sue came over yesterday she went to local shelter and was thinking of getting Lilly a puppy and she may have had some animal hairs on her that spread in the house. Dr. Davis had said that could be the problem and getting any pet that has fur would be out of the question. I made an appointment with her for Lilly to get tested and we would go from there.

Edward came back and told me he had to see some patients but would be over asap to see us. He sent us home for a nebulizer and some medicine and she would need to have more treatments. Esme suggested bringing her to her house so I could clean up Charlie's house of the pet hairs. I said that was a good idea so Edward will call first to see where we are.

Charlie came back and said Sue was so upset on what happened and that she felt so guilty that she is over his house cleaning already. I would definitely have to talk to her about that because we had no idea on her allergies for animal hairs.

I kissed Edward goodbye and took Lilly to our car to get her booster seat to put in Esme's car.

"Lilly be good for Esme and just rest ok. No running around over there and mommy will be there as soon as I can after I help Sue clean up the house."

"Ok mommy I love you!"

"Love ya too baby! Be good!"

I watched them drive away and sighed on what a day this has been. I made it to Charlie's house and saw Sue taking garbage out. She looked like she was crying.

I walked up to Sue and said,

"Sue you are not responsible for what happened to Lilly. We had no idea of her allergies."

"Oh Bella I guess I know that but I feel so bad putting that precious thing through that."

"Look at it this way Sue if this didn't happen we would of never knew about her allergies."

I know you are right Bella but I feel so bad. Is she mad at me?"

"No Sue I don't even think she knows you were looking at puppies which was a nice idea by the way. She loves you Sue so please don't be upset."

We hugged each other and finished cleaning up. I went up to her room and cleaned the floors also and we shook out her rugs.

When we were done we sat down and have some coffee.

"So Bella it's just us girls, how was your weekend really!"

"Ok so no mention to Alice or Rose I told you first. It was the best weekend ever! Edward and I connected in the most intimate way possible. I didn't think I was ready Sue but we confessed our feelings for each other, talked about past relationships and he told Lilly he loves her. I have never felt anything so strong in my life. I am just so happy right now. Just so you know if it wasn't for you when I first got here I wouldn't have went to the Cullen's brunch and I wouldn't be where I am now. Your support means a lot to me."

We hugged again and I asked her if she wanted to come over to Esme to see Lilly.

"I would love to but do you think that Esme and Carlisle are upset with me."

"Sue they are not mad at all so please stop feeling guilty. You sound like me when I first came back apologizing to everyone."

We laughed and went out to my car and drove towards the Cullen's home.

When we got there I got a call from Edward and he said he would be done in a half hour. I told him to meet me at his parents' house.

I text Charlie and told him where Sue and I were . He said he would pick Sue up there.

We all decided to order something in for dinner and it looked like Sue was feeling better.

When we got back to Charlie's house I asked Edward to stay a while. Lilly was getting tired and she just wasn't her usual self.

Charlie had to head back to station after taking Sue home because of someone calling out.

"Edward I am really nervous about Lilly and being here alone. Do you think you can stay over tonight?"

"Sure no problem Bella but let me swing on home and pack a bag so I can go right to work tomorrow from here."

"Thanks Edward!"

I kissed him and watched him drive away.

"Mommy Edward coming back?"

"Yeah baby let's go get your bath and we will be all done when he gets back ."

We got our jammies on and was watching a Disney movie when Edward got back.

"Edward you came back" Lilly said and ran to him.

"Of course I did and look at you in your princess jammies."

"Tank you!" as she bowed.

"Are you going to stay overnight and get your jammies on?"

"I sure am just to make sure my special princess is ok."

"Mommy ok Edward!"

"I am talking about you Lilly . You are my Princess while your mom is my Queen!"

Lilly giggled and hugged Bella.

Edward left to take his bag upstairs and get in his jammies as Lilly requested.

He came down the stairs and I couldn't help myself as I ogled him. He had black pajama pants that hung low on his hips and a white t shirt on. He looked delicious and he saw me staring.

He came over to the couch and sat next to me and whispered in my ear.

"See anything you like Bella!"

"You have no idea!"

We kissed chastely and cuddled while we watched the movie.

Lilly ended up falling asleep so Edward picked her up and carried her to bed. I followed him and just stood back and watched what he did. He put her in bed and tucked her in, kissed her forehead and said,

"Lilly sweet dreams, love ya!"

I heard her whisper' love ya Edward'

As I witnessed this I felt tears fall down my face. Edward saw me and walked to me with concern.

"What's wrong bella? Did I do something wrong?"

"Edward you were perfect and I feel like the three of us are an actual family. It makes me so happy!"

He pulled me into him and kissed me so passionately. I was up against the wall and we were touching all over and kissing.

We finally broke away and he followed me to my bedroom.

We got into bed together and cuddled and made out kissing. After a while we stopped kissing, spooned and fell asleep. All I could think about is how happy Lilly and I have been since we moved here and I was hoping nothing would happen to change that.

**The next chapter could have a little trouble brewing but not much. I definitely do not like a lot of angst so no worry. **


	11. Chapter 11

**Here is another chapter! I know it was pretty fast but they kept on talking to me. Not too many reviews from last chapter. Please show me some love and recommend my story if you are an author. **

Chapter 11

Lilly was starting school in a couple of days but I had to go to work to get things set up.

Alice was going to watch Lilly today. I told her to make sure she rested and no shopping or excitement. Alice pouted when I told her but she understood.

When I got to school and found my classroom I just looked around to see what I could do to make things more cheery. I got my laptop out and look up some pictures of the authors we were going to read. I asked Mr. Banner if there was a print shop that could scan pictures and print them out. He told me to contact Mr. Stevens at woodshop.

My books got delivered in the afternoon and I was glancing through them when I heard a knock on the door. I turned around and saw it was Kate Denali smiling.

"Hey Kate how are you?"

"I am great Bella! I am looking forward to another year. How are you?"

"I am ok but a little nervous since this is my first year teaching."

"You will be fine Bella."

"Hey Bella do you remember my sister Tanya? I wasn't really close to her because she really was a slut in high school but she has changed a lot and she is visiting now."

I froze when she said "Tanya". I know Edward told me about their relationship but my insecurities are coming back.

"That's great Kate that she is visiting. How long is she here for?"

"I am not sure because she was looking to catch up with some friends she hasn't seen in a while and looking for a job. She went to school for pre med but couldn't handle it so she is a surgical nurse now.

I don't think she will stay in the area though but it's nice to have her home for a little while."

Kate left to go back to her classroom and I felt so nervous. What if Tanya wanted to get together with Edward? Would he go and see her? Would he realize what he is missing and want to go back to her?

Emmett and Jasper came into my classroom to check on me and saw I was upset.

"Hey Bella everything ok?"

"Hey Emmett and Jasper what are you guys up to."

"Nothing we just figured we would come to see how you are making out. We saw Kate leave your room, are you friendly with her now?"

"I don't know guys it's just weird. Does she know about Edward and I because she just had to mention about Tanya being back in town."

"Are you kidding me? Why is that slut back in town? She ruined Edward's life."

"Well obviously she had changed her ways and is looking for a job. She couldn't handle pre med so she went for a surgical nurse. She came back home to see some old friends before she starts looking for a job. Is this something I need to worry about guys?"

"Hell no Bella! Edward doesn't want anything to do with her. He cares about you, you know that."

"I know Emmett I am just scared. Maybe he will think about not being with me once he sees beautiful Tanya!"

"Bella don't start that insecurity stuff."

"ok sorry guys I will try harder to not freak out."

After Bella's day she was so excited to bring literature to her students. She was able to get pictures printed on the authors and she pasted book covers on top of construction paper and displayed them throughout the room. She planned on starting with Pride and Prejudice.

She was thinking of what Kate told her about Tanya and how it would affect Edward. Maybe Emmett was right and I should stop worrying.

When I got home Lilly and Alice were playing with her barbies. Lilly ran to me and gave me hug and missed me.

Alice could tell something was off and followed me into the kitchen.

"What's going on Bella?"

"Tanya is back! I know I believe Edward when we confessed our feelings this past weekend but what happens if once he sees her again he wouldn't want me anymore. Am I being silly worrying like this?"

"I can't believe that slut is back! Oh Bella you have nothing to worry about. Talk to Edward and communicate on how you feel because you know he loves you."

"Thanks Alice!" I said as we hugged.

Edward then text me and said he would be over shortly.

Alice left and Lilly and I was watching TV when I heard a knock on the door.

Edward was here and he hugged and kissed me.

"I missed you!"

"Missed you too."

Charlie was working late so I wanted to get some pizza. We decided to go to the pizza place instead of it being delivered.

We were sitting waiting for our pizza and Edward started a conversation.

"Bella I want to tell you something and please don't feel upset. Tanya is back in town and came to see me at hospital today. It looks like she never went for pre med and became a surgical nurse. She tried to get together with me and I told her I have no interest in her especially since I am very busy with my girlfriend. I just wanted to be upfront with you."

"I know about Tanya because Kate made a point of telling me. She didn't say she wanted to hook up with you. I am not sure she knows about us but this has me very insecure. I know you love me and I love you so much but maybe you will change your mind."

I said the last remark looking at the table.

Edward put his finger under my chin and said

"I will never change my mind about you and me."

Then he kissed me and I felt better.

All of a sudden I heard someone said, "Wow Edward I didn't know your girlfriend was plain Jane Bella Swan!"

"Tanya, Bella is nothing but plain and yes she is my beautiful, sexy girlfriend!"

"Just thought you could do so much better that's all."

"Tanya you are scaring Lilly so please leave us alone. Oh by the way, Bella is way better than anyone else I ever have had."

Tanya growled and walked away and headed towards her table.

Edward turned to me and said

"I am sorry about her baby, I love you!"

"Love ya too!"

Pizza was delivered and we had a nice meal.

The next day Lilly and I was having a lazy day. It was Friday and we both started school on Monday. I was going to go in to school for an hour or two to make sure everything was perfect and then take Lilly to lunch at the diner.

Alice and Rose joined us at the diner and Lilly was telling them all about the big girl classroom (aka my classroom).

We talked a little bit about Tanya situation when we ate last night.

"Yeah that lady was mean to mommy and it made me sad. Edvard didn't like her either."

We giggled and enjoyed the rest of our lunch.

School started and weeks past as we got into a normal way of life. Edward would come over as much as he could and Lilly was really enjoying school and making new friends.

Tanya was still hanging around town and I was worried she would get a job at the hospital with Edward.

It was Friday and I had a half day but Lilly had a full day. I was going to surprise Edward with lunch at the hospital.

I went to the cafe and got us some sandwiches and iced coffee. I got to the hospital and Lauren told me that Edward was in his office. I walked down the hallway towards his office and noticed a female talking to him. It sounded like Tanya so I listened for awhile.

"Come on Eddie I got a job at Port Angeles hospital and you should apply there and we could be together again."

I opened the door at that moment and she was sitting on his desk with her feet on his chair on the side of his legs. Her face was very close to his and he wasn't trying to move away.

I couldn't understand why he wouldn't move away.

I dropped the stuff on chair near the door and ran out.

I heard Edward yell "Bella wait!"

But I kept on walking tears running down my face. I got to my car and I just sat there crying.

I heard tapping on my window and Edward was there . I rolled down my window with tears running down my face.

"Bella I am so sorry you had to see that. She cornered me and I couldn't get away. She was trying to get back together with me and I keep telling her No but she isn't listening. Please believe me!"

"Edward I want to believe you but you made no attempt to back away from her. I know she is beautiful and more experienced than me. I guess I am not enough for you. I need to get home for Lilly."

I drove away towards the school to pick up my only existence for living.

Edward tried calling me multiple times but I couldn't answer the phone. After I picked up Lilly I asked Esme if she could watch her for a while.

I got to Esme house and she could tell something was wrong. All I said was Tanya and she knew what happened.

"Bella I am not sure what happened but Edward loves you and would never jeopardized your relationship."

"I know that in my heart but what I saw is that he didn't back away from her so it made me believe I am not enough for him. I just need time and when he calls later I will talk. "

Ok honey but if you need me just call. Even though he is my son I could go Mama Bear on him too!"

"Thanks esme. I love you!"

I stopped at the grocery store on the way home. I wanted Ben and Jerry's chunky monkey ice cream.

All of a sudden I heard Kate calling me. I turned around and saw Kate and of course Tanya was with her.

"Hey Bella how are you?"

"Oh just fine Kate. I am sure Tanya has filled you in on all the fun she has been creating for Edward and I."

"Tanya what have you done now. I told you to leave Edward alone, he is with Bella now. "

"Thanks Kate but I don't think Tanya ever got over her sluty attitude from high school. She sees someone happy and she can't resist flirting and causing trouble. Well I am going to tell you now Tanya Denali you will not win this one because Edward and I are in love. From what Edward told me he could never commit to you so you found someone else to follow around. What happened Tanya did he get bored! Well I will tell you that Edward is never or will be bored with me so keep your hands to yourself. If you cause any more trouble for Edward and I you will be very sorry. I have friends and family in places to make you suffer.

Sorry Kate I will see you Monday!"

I got my ice cream and went home. Charlie was working late so I had house to myself. I had a lot to think about. I trust Edward but he made me feel insecure. I wish he was trying to get away from her but he just sat there.

I called Esme and asked if she could keep Lilly overnight and I will pick her up tomorrow sometime. She said no problem but encouraged me to settle things with Edward. He called her going crazy. I told her I would and not to worry.

I wrote Charlie a note saying Lilly was over Esme and I had something to straighten out with Edward .

I got in my car and drove to Edwards. I saw the lights on so I knew he was up. I knocked on the door and he growled 'just a minute'.

He opened the door to find me and the look on his face was surprised and then he smiled.

"OMG Bella I am so glad you are here. I have been trying all afternoon to talk to you"

I walked into his home and said,

"You might change your mind after I holler at you Edward Anthony Cullen."

He smirked as I walked further in and asked if I want anything.

"No thanks but after I get this off my chest I maybe very hungry since all I have had is chunky monkey."

"Edward I will start by telling you that I do indeed trust you but when I saw Tanya sitting on your desk like that and you never tried to move away that is what hurt me. It made me feel like she was more enticing to you and more beautiful, adventurous and fun. I felt like I wasn't enough for you and I never want to feel like that ever again. Do you understand that mister." I was saying as I poked his chest.

"Bella come here and sit with me on the couch."

"First of all I am so sorry for earlier today and I have no interest in Tanya whatsoever.

Second you are it for me and I never want to be with another person but you. This is kind of embarrassing but when Tanya was sitting at my desk like that, I was having a daydream it was you there and all I wanted to do was take you right there on my desk. I know I should have moved away from her sooner but I absolutely loved my daydream.

Third can I just say you are very hot when you are mad!"

I moved over to him and grabbed him by his shirt and kissed him so hard we couldn't breathe. When we stopped I said,

"Edward Anthony you made me second guess myself and our relationship because you were having a sex daydream about us. Even though that is very hot and sexy you brought my insecurities back to surface. I don't like that at all. Even Emmett hollered at me! "

"Bella I am so sorry how can I make it up to you."

"Well you can start by feeding me. I am starved."

He laughed and shook his head and before he went to the kitchen he looked at me really serious.

"Bella, we are good right!"

"Yes Edward we are good and hopefully later we will be better!"

Edward eyes widen and smiled.

He found some food to eat and we sat down to enjoy our meal .

"umh Edward I think I should tell you I kind of threatened Tanya to stay away from you."

Bella then told Edward everything that happened at the grocery store and he cracked up.

"OMG Bella I would of loved to see her face. You have changed so much for the better. You could of shied away from her and let her walk all over you but you didn't, you held your ground and told her off. I am so proud of you baby!"

I smiled at him and we walked over to the couch and cuddled watching some movie.

"Bella where is Lilly?"

"She is with your mom because I didn't want her to see me all upset. I am picking her up tomorrow."

"So you have no reason to go home tonight?"

"Nope!"

"Bella I want to show you something I did to one of my bedrooms upstairs."

"ok!"

We walked upstairs to the bedrooms and he took me to the one a little ways down from his. He opened the door and I was shocked. He turned the room to a little girls room.

"What did you do Edward?"

"I wanted a room for Lilly to have for when she visits. I wanted to have both of you over more often and to feel comfortable here." Edward was saying as his head was lowered.

I was shocked he was doing this for us and I lifted his head up to stare at me.

"That was such a wonderful thing you did for Lilly and I think both of us would love to come here more often. Sometimes I think we are in the way at Charlie's but he would never admit it."

Edward smiled and said, "Bella I would like nothing more than to have you and Lilly actually live with me but I never brought it up because I wasn't sure how you would feel."

"Wow Edward I don't know what to say but maybe one day that will happen. How about we start off with visits over here and see how Lilly does with your home. I am sure she will love it here. Thank you so much for doing a room for her."

"It was my pleasure with a little help from Mom and the pixie!"

I kissed him and then we went to his room. He gave me some clothes to change into for bed. I went to the bathroom and changed and washed my face. I can't believe how stupid I was thinking I was not enough for him. He is my life and no one will get in the way of that. Insecurities Be Damn!

**My husband is out of the hospital but still very weak! Thank you for your support!**


	12. Chapter 12

**I am so sorry this is so late but I had a lot of real life to deal with. This chapter ended up to be too long so I had to cut it off somewhere. Next chapter shouldn't be too long since it half way done. I would really love more reviews so please anyone that reads my story just send me a quick note if you liked it or not.**

Chapter 12

I joined Edward in bed and we talked about our future and how my class was going. I told him I was enjoying myself teaching young adults about the classic literature. My pet peeve is how the media is affecting all young kids and they need to know how things were in older times, simpler and not so much pressure. Since our entertainment world seems to gear towards sex and violence all the time in video games, movies, TV shows we have to show our children there are other options.

We cuddle as we talked and I never felt so safe and loved.

"Edward I want you to know that I do trust you and what happened with Tanya doesn't mean I don't. I know you love me but for a second there I thought I wasn't enough for you due to my inexperience. You are a very handsome, beautiful man and deserve someone who can satisfy you physically and emotionally. Maybe all my baggage is too much for you."

Edward lifted my chin and stared in my eyes and said,

"Bella I know you trust me and that you love me. I know I let you down by having a sex daydream at the wrong time. I promise I will make it up to you but believe me you are more than enough for me. You are my whole life and I could never want anyone else. You are a sexy, beautiful woman who deserves to be treated like a princess and your baggage is in the past and all it did was make our relationship stronger. I love you Isabella Marie Swan and I intend to make you realize that you indeed are enough for me."

Before I knew it he was hovering over me and kissing me everywhere. All I could think of doing is moaning and groaning to the feelings he is giving me. He made me feel so wonderful and alive.

"Oh Edward I need you so much now. Get inside me now and show me how much you need me because I really need to know that and feel that. Show me your love!"

"Yes Ma'am!"

Before I knew it he was inside of me making me feel so loved and treasured.

"Bella I love you so much and when I am with you and especially inside you I feel like you are my missing piece I have been searching for. You mean everything to me and I will spend the rest of my life showing you how special you are. OMG Bella I can't get enough of you, these feelings are so strong!"

Both of us were panting and groaning and we were both very close.

"Come on baby, feel the love I have for you and let everything go and cum with me. I want us to stare at each other in the eyes as we cum together."

I opened my eyes and started at his beautiful green orbs and I never felt so much love from them before. Edward is it for me and I never want to be without him. We both came together screaming each other names. Best Feeling ever!

"Oh baby I love you so much! Do you know how much I love you now? You are everything to me and you are more than enough for me. I love you Bella!"

"Oh Edward I love you so much and yes I could feel all the love you have for me. Please never make me doubt that again. I could never live without you so please never leave me!"

"I am never leaving you or Lilly ever! Never has been an option so you are stuck with me along with my faults. Lets rest now and we can get Lilly tomorrow and have a family day."

We got up early and had a little breakfast and drove over to Edward's parent's house. Lilly was watching her cartoons when we got there and Edward went over to her to watch with her. I went into the kitchen to talk with Esme.

"Hi Bella how is everything?"

"I am so much better than yesterday. I can't tell you everything but he had a very good reason for not moving from her right away and I trust him completely. He did start to make it up to me and I have never been happier. Thank you so much for helping him make a room for Lilly at his house. I was so surprised on what he did. He wants me to move in with him in the near future but I am not sure how Lilly will take to that. Also we just did her room at my dad's and even though he said he would keep it for her if we decided to move out I still feel bad leaving him. It destroyed him the last time I did that.

I am just confused on what to do and I know he is your son but I don't know who to talk to about this."

"Bella you can always come and talk to me about anything, even if it involves my son. I think of you as a daughter so please remember that. I am sure if you sat down with Charlie and discussed things with him he would understand. The last time you moved out you went far away. This time you will still be close to visit and him babysit so Lilly can keep her room. Just don't worry so much about it."

"Well I told Edward we would have to do some visits first to see how Lilly adapts to his house. If she starts to feel comfortable there and we discuss it then maybe I will talk to Charlie. Thank you so much for listening to me."

We hugged and then we both went out to the living room where Edward and Lilly were. They were cuddled up on the couch watching TV and laughing about something from the cartoon. My tears started to well up in the eyes and I looked at Esme and she was the same way. I took my phone out and took a picture of the two of them.

We all had lunch together as we talked about what we wanted to do for family day.

"Edvard is it a good day for you to teach me how to fly a kite. Remember you promised me a long time ago."

"I do remember promising you that so we can try and see if it's windy enough. We have to go to a store to get you the prettiest kite first. "

We helped cleaned up dishes from lunch and got everything together and headed over to town to pick up a kite. Lilly had decided on a pink and purple design. Edward picked up the string and everything we needed and after paying for everything we headed over to the park.

Edward got the kite all set up and was teaching Lilly how to fly it and they were having a ball. I sat on the bench and was reading a book thinking about the last couple of days. Everything seems to be working out fine now and I couldn't be happier. I saw Tyler in a distance with Lauren and I froze. I wasn't sure what he would do especially with Lauren there. I kept an eye on him and he noticed me watching me. He nodded and Lauren and him walked away. I am not even sure Lauren knows our story.

Lilly was getting tired and I suggested we go back to Edward's place and we could order Chinese food for dinner. I think Edward caught my idea of showing Lilly her room at his place and to see if she is comfortable at Edward's.

When we got to Edward's house we all decided what we wanted to eat and placed our order.

"Lilly, would like to see a tour of my house?"

"Yeah that would be cool."

Edward took us around and showed Lilly the family room for the big screen TV and games systems. We went to see his office/library where he kept all his books. Then we headed upstairs showing all the rooms and last one was the room they made for her. He opened up the door and Lilly screamed and asked what little girl's room was for.

"Esme and I did this room up for you in case you and your mom are over and you get tired and end up staying overnight. Do you like it?"

She looked throughout the room and saw a princess bed, tiled floors with pink and purple rugs, an ivory dresser with a mirror and the walls were same color as her room at Charlie's.

She turned around and smiled and said, "I love it! Thank you Edward!" She ran to him and gave him a big hug.

"You are very welcome!"

Just then the doorbell rang and Edward left to get our food.

"Lilly how do you like your room at Edward's house? Do you think that you would like to spend more time here?"

"Yes mommy I love it here. Would I be able to bring some of my toys here?"

"I don't see why not and when we get home we can decide which ones to bring the next time."

We went downstairs to eat our dinner and we had a nice conversation. When Lilly was done eating she went to the couch and layed down. I knew she would be tired so I left her alone for a while. Edward and I cleaned everything up and we sat on the other couch and watched a little TV.

Around 8pm it didn't look like Lilly was going to wake up. I tried waking her up but she just rolled over the other way. I looked at Edward for some help.

"Bella why don't you stay over and you can go home in morning. Lilly will give you trouble if you try to take her home now."

I nodded and called Charlie to tell him I can't wake up Lilly so we are staying overnight at Edwards.

Edward took Lilly up to her new room and put her to bed. He kissed her forehead whispered 'sweet dreams my princess'.

He came back downstairs and said,

"She still is knocked out. I guess flying a kite really exhausted her."

We cuddled on the couch and watched some TV. It was so relaxing here at Edwards and we didn't have to worry about Charlie interrupting. It felt like we were an actual family.

We started yawning and decided we were going to bed. Edward gave me some clothes to wear. As soon as we cuddled and my head hit the pillow I was asleep.

Lilly got up in morning yelling for me. Edward and I got up and ran to her room.

"Mommy where am I. I got up and didn't know where I was?"

"We are at Edwards's house. Remember he showed you the room he did for you. I couldn't wake you up last night so we stayed over."

"Oh Mommy I am sorry if I scared you. When I woke up I wasn't sure where I was."

She was giggling as she was saying it and Edward and I just laughed.

She got up to go to the bathroom and then I heard her clapping and getting excited.

"Lilly what are you doing in there?"

"Come here Mommy let me show you."

I walked into the bathroom and couldn't believe what I saw. It was a bathroom totally for Lilly.

It had pink comb and brush, princess toothbrush and towels.

I turned around and looked at Edward and he just shrugged his shoulders and said, "Mom and Alice"

He didn't need to say anymore. He also then showed me her dresser filled with some clothes.

"Why did they do this Edward? The Cullens can't keep on spending money on us."

"It was just for when you guys stay over in a emergency and looks like we needed it. Just relax Bella it was all for a good cause."

Lilly washed up and got dressed in new clothes and we went downstairs to see what we could do about breakfast. Unfortunately Edward was all out of food so we ended up going to the diner.

While we were eating at the diner I got a call from an unknown caller.

"Hello"

"Hi Bella this is Mary Mason, Carlie's mom. Carlie and Lilly are in class together."

"Oh Hi! How are you!"

"I am fine. Carlie had been asking all the time for me to call you and see if Lilly could come over and play today."

"Oh, that is very nice of you to ask but I don't know anyone very well and we are new to the area."

"I understand how it is with young kids and their families. I would really like to get to know you too so maybe we could chat a little while the kids play?"

"Oh that sound nice but can I call you back. Right now I am with my boyfriend and I am not sure if he had plans for us today."

"Oh, that's fine just call me back and we can always plan another time."

"Thanks Mary."

When I got off the phone Lilly was so excited to be able to see Carlie today.

"Edward did you have any plans for today? Lilly has been invited over a friend's house to play and I have to call her back. I feel bad leaving you since I had made a mess of things the other day."

He reached for my hand and said, "Nonsense Bella I was just as much at fault. Take Lilly over and get to know the mothers in her class. That is important to Lilly and anyways I have to do some laundry and some errands for the week."

He dropped me off to get my car and I buckled Lilly in her booster seat. I stood against my car door and he leaned in to me to kiss me. We got a little carried away and then reluctantly pulled away. I whispered in his ear, "Just so you know when you least expect it, the daydream you had of us will become a reality. Just know that I will be replaced with that slut that was sitting on your desk." Gave him a quick kiss and while he was distracted I slipped into my car and yelled, "Will miss you today!" and I drove away.

We stopped at home to get Lilly some toys and I needed to get a shower and dressed. Charlie was there with Sue and I told him what our plans were. He thought it was a good idea to meet other parents and Sue knew Mary Masen and thought she was very nice.

We headed over to the address Mary had given me and when we knocked on the door Lilly was so excited and apparently so was Carlie since she was there when the door opened jumping up and down. Mary and I just looked at each other and laughed at our silly kids.

"Come on in Bella and let's get to know each other. Would you like something to drink?"

"That would be nice Mary whatever you have is fine."

"I was just going to have some coffee would you like some."

"Yes please."

We had a nice conversation getting to know each other and I found out that Mary is divorced and Carlie's father is hardly around. She does have a boyfriend also, Brent Summers and he is a developer and works a lot. He comes over as much as he can and gets along well with Carlie.

I told Mary that I used to live here growing up and situations came up where I had to leave but decided to come back to teach so Lilly could be near her grandfather.

"Bella this is a small town and a lot of people talk. I knew you used to live here and people are saying a bunch of different things concerning Lilly. Everyone knows you are seeing Edward Cullen and I have heard stories where they think he just feels sorry for you but I know it's different. I have seen you guys out and I see the love you have for each other. Please do not let what everyone says upset you."

"I know Mary but with my teaching job I can't let anything affect it. Ughh people are so stupid sometimes. What are they saying about Lilly? I can't have anyone upset her?"

"Well if they haven't mentioned anything yet I wouldn't worry about it. The only thing I heard about Lilly was them wondering who her father was and maybe that's why you left suddenly."

"Mary I don't mean to sound rude but did you invite us over here to get information out of me so you can let people know what really is going on. I have to be able to trust people to let my daughter around them. Why did you invite me over and then proceed to ask questions about my past?"

"OMG Bella no I am so sorry it came over that way. Seriously I am just trying to get to know you so our daughters can play together. You saw how excited they were when you came over. I am just trying to be a friend that's all and I am so sorry if it came out differently. Gosh I don't blame you one bit if you wanted to leave."

No I don't want to leave Mary I just want to be able to live my life with my daughter and boyfriend and no one give us a hard time. I put Edward through enough with all my baggage when I came back home. He doesn't need any more of that coming his way or he may not want me anymore. Please Mary if you want Lilly to be around your daughter do not spread anything about me. Sometimes I need someone to talk to and you are a single parent just like me. I think we can be good friends and allies if we could trust one another."

"I would like nothing better Bella. I really am sorry for coming across so rude. I really haven't heard anything lately so you shouldn't worry. I did hear though about your discussion with Tanya Denali about Edward at the grocery store but it sounds like you nipped it in the bud from what I heard. Can we start over and put all this stupid gossip in the trash where it belongs?"

"I would love that Mary. "

We talked a little more about little things and then our daughters appeared. When I looked at my watch and saw it was 3pm I told Lilly we had to get going. I told Mary next time we could have the kids get together over Charlie's house or Edward's.

I told Lilly when we got in the car I wanted to get a gift for Edward.

"Is it his birthday mommy?"

"No baby that isn't until summer time, this gift is just a thank you so to speak. He is always there for us Lilly and will always be and I just want him to know I appreciate it. Anyways he gave me a gift and I want to give him one. "

" Yeah that nice, can I get him one too? I love it when he reads me stories."

"Ok Lilly we will see what they have."

We ended up stopping at a jewelers store because I knew I wanted to get him a watch. I saw this Bulova Precisionist Claremont collection watch in a magazine and knew he would love it. They did happen to have it in stock and they also had a keychain to match. I asked if they did engraving and they said yes. I placed my order and they said it would be ready by Tuesday.

When we got back to Charlie's I told Lilly to go take a nap because Edward would be over later to take us to dinner.

I text Edward to tell him I was home and that Lilly was taking a nap and could come over anytime.

I was relaxing watching a game with my dad and the doorbell rang. I opened it up to a smiling Edward who definitely missed me by the kiss he gave me.

Come on and lets watch the game with my dad, it's almost over.

"Hey Charlie, Sue how's the game."

It's almost over and Seahawks are winning by a touchdown."

The game was over within an half an hour and I wanted to talk to Sue and my dad before Lilly got up.

"Dad, Sue can I talk to you about something."

"Sure Bells whats up."

I looked at Edward and he even looked confused on what I wanted to say.

"Hmm Dad, I know when I came back home that I wanted to stay with you until I was able to go out on my own. I know what it did to you after I graduated and I left you. I never want to make you feel that way again so when Edward asked me to move in with him I was very reluctant because I didn't want to upset you again. We are going to bring Lilly over for some visits to see how she does but eventually I will be moving in and I hope you will not be upset or mad about this."

Charlie motioned for me to come over to him and he pulled me into his lap. I started to cry because I haven't been on his lap in a long time.

"Bells I love you dearly and always will. You are my baby girl and nothing will change that. I know you will eventually be with Edward at his house and I think it will be good for all of you. You will always have a place here whenever you need or want it but don't think I will be upset or mad. You are not moving across the country or state line and I can still see you whenever I want. You need to do what is best for you and Lilly and if being at Edwards is the best for you, then that's what you need to do"

"I love you daddy!"

"I love you Bells. Anyway Sue and I have some news for you. I asked her to marry me and she said yes!'

"OMG Dad that is amazing. Sue I am so happy for you and my dad!"

I got up and ran to Sue and hugged her and said,"I am so glad you are finally going to be in our family."

We were all hugging each other and Lilly came down and said," why is everyone hugging and no one hugging me!"

We all laughed at her and Edward grabbed her by surprise and started hugging and tickling her.

She was giggling so much she yelled, "Ok ok now I have to pee! Edvard let me go!"

We laughed as she ran to the bathroom.

The next day when I went to work Kate Denali stopped me in the hall and apologized for Tanya's behavior. She thought she had changed and apparently when it comes to Edward she hasn't. She told me that she is not giving up on him yet and said a lot of things about me that was very rude.

I had to assure Kate that this was not her fault.

"Kate please do not blame yourself because you have no control over her actions. I know that Edward is not interested in her at all and I have nothing to worry about. I just do not like the rumors going around about me because I don't want Lilly having problems because of it and more importantly I don't want to lose my job. Is Tanya moving to Port Angeles now that she has a job there?"

"I don't know Bella, I thought that was what she was doing but has not mentioned anything. I am not even sure when she starts."

"Ok let's just move on from this and hopefully she won't start anymore trouble."

My classes were very excited with the book we were reading and we always had a very thorough discussion regarding the chapters that were read. I was so thrilled these teenagers were getting into the classics. I had a thought to start a book club after school where the kids can pick a book they read and we would get together once a week to discuss the chapters read. There are so many good books out there and not enough time in the classroom. I decided to talk to Mr. Banner about it as soon as I could. I would have to figure out about Lilly those days also.

Something was bugging me and I decided to call Tyler to make sure he hasn't spread any rumors.

"Hello"

"Hey Tyler, its Bella."

"Hi Bella whats up."

"Tyler I know you saw Edward, Lilly and I at the park the other day and wanted to know if you told anyone our situation. Does Lauren know what happened 5-6 years ago or anyone else for that matter?"

"I did mention to Lauren we had somewhat of a past together but nothing about Lilly. I know Lauren was at that party but she hasn't said anything to me about knowing anything and I swear I haven't mentioned it to anyone else."

"Ok Tyler and please don't. Tanya is back in town and wants to spread rumors about me because she has a delusion that she can get Edward back. I just don't want Lilly to have any problems or me losing my job."

"I understand Bella but I will check with Lauren to see if she knows anything. She is friends with Tanya and have gone out a few times. Bella I really am trying to be a better person."

"Ok Tyler I am trying to trust you here so please don't let me down. Edward had his lawyers working on the papers and as soon as they are done we will call you."

I had a free period right after my lunch so I decided to take a ride to see Edward. I really needed his reassurance with all of this.

I walked into the emergency room and Lauren was at the desk.

"Hey Lauren how are you today?"

"Hi Bella I am fine. Are you here to see Dr Cullen?"

"Yes I am do you know where I can find him."

"He is in with a patient right now but I can let him know you are here."

"Bella, I just want to say I am sorry for giving you a problem that day. I know you have a past with Tyler and I am not sure what happened but I felt threatened. When I see you with Edward I know not to feel threatened at all. I have gotten together with Tanya since she has been here and I know she is giving you a hard time but she has dealt with a lot lately and is grasping at straws so to speak."

"Thanks for the info Lauren and appreciate your kindness. I just hope Tanya doesn't keep on giving me problems."

She nodded and left to get Edward.

I sat in one of the chairs in the waiting room and all of a sudden I saw him coming towards me with a big smile.

"Hey beautiful! What do I owe the pleasure?"

"I just needed to see you and get a hug. Although my classes have been great I am worried about other stuff."

"Let's go to my office and talk ok."

I nodded and we walked to his office.

He sat down on his couch and pulled me into his lap.

I decided to straddle him instead and give him a kiss which I desperately needed.

"Now that I got that out of the way, I don't know Edward I am just feeling a little anxious. When Lilly and I were over Carlie and Mary house yesterday I got a little heated. She knew we were dating and she has heard rumors about Lilly and I. I got a little defensive thinking she got me over there to pump me for information. I was wrong but I just don't want Lilly affected by anything and then there is my job. If the wrong rumors circulate I could be suspended. I am just so scared because I just got my life back together and I am extremely happy because of you and I am afraid of losing everything."

I broke down and cried and he just held me and let me cry it out.

"Bella people will talk about other people all the time and this is a small town so everyone knows everyone else's business but don't let it upset you. I am sure Mary Masen was just trying to be friendly yesterday. Lilly is a strong person just like you are and she will be fine."

"I called Tyler Edward and asked if he told anyone anything about our past. I know you don't want me to speak with him and I understand but I needed to know. He said he only told Lauren we had a past but not what it was. It seems Lauren is friendly with Tanya and that could be an issue. Lauren spoke with me before she went to get you and told me that day I brought Lilly in here she felt threatened because of my past with Tyler. She knows now how we feel about each other and doesn't feel threatened anymore. She knows Tanya wants to give me a hard time and she feels bad about that. I just hope she is being honest with me."

"Bella never be afraid I would be mad if you felt you needed to do something. I don't like you talking to Tyler but I know you may need to. Lauren has been acting a little better lately so maybe she is being truthful. I will talk to Tanya and tell her to back off. I don't want you to worry about anything. I love you baby!"

"Oh Edward I love you too."

We hugged and kissed a little more and then all of a sudden someone burst in Edward's office yelling "Eddie!"

I rolled my eyes and knew it was Tanya. She saw me sitting on his lap and she pulled me off of him and yelled,

"Get off of him before you crush him. Don't you realize he doesn't want you? He feels sorry for you and your little spawn of a daughter but deep down is really disgusted with you and your looks."

I slapped her face so hard she almost lost her balance.

"Don't you ever talk to me or about me like that again. You are so pathetic that you just don't get it that Edward doesn't want you. So because you can't comprehend that you attack me hoping you will get to my insecurities and I will run away. Well sorry to burst your bubble but I am not going anywhere so you might as well accept and if you ever, ever call my daughter a spawn again I will end your life. I am not the insecure girl you remember from high school thanks to Edward and you don't want cross me."

"Tanya I do not want you and you need to stop all of this. The things you just said to Bella are the farthest from the truth and I never want to see your face around here again. Goodbye Tanya for the last time!"

Tanya stormed out of Edward's office and I collapsed in Edward's arms. He took me over to his couch and just held me.

"Edward I don't know where that strength came from but I am so tired of all of this. All I want to do is live my life enjoying Lilly and our relationship. When is this all going to end?"

"I swear to you Bella this Tanya situation is over. She will never bother you again."

We continued to just sit together and hold each other. I know it won't last long because we both had to get back to work. We hugged and kissed and I left to go back to school. As I walked out I saw Tanya crying to Lauren as I passed the front desk.

I got back to school in time for my next class and I saw Kate in the hall. I asked her if we could talk after school. She nodded her head and I headed to my classroom for my class.

After school Kate and I talked and I told her what happened with her sister and that I didn't want any problems here at school. She told me she does not agree with what she has been doing concerning Edward and she is glad I stood up to her. I was really relieved with that because I didn't want her to cause any problems. Hopefully we would all be done with Tanya and her attitude.

When I got home Charlie and Sue were there and I was talking to them about what happened with Tanya. My dad said he would scare her a little if he saw her on the road. I giggled because I knew what my dad would do and she would be scared shitless.

I started to explain also about the plan I had at school with the book club. I want to be able to give kids other options besides watching TV or playing video games after school. They thought it was a good idea and if I needed help with Lilly, Sue said she would help out watching her. I got so excited because I really wanted to do this and make a difference in someone's life. This is the reason I wanted to be a teacher to begin with. I went to my room and started to write down all the ideas I had so I could present them to Mr. Banner tomorrow.

Edward called a little while later and said he had to work tonight because there was a big accident on the major highway. He said he would call me later.

Lilly came into my room and wanted to know what I was doing.

"Lilly I am planning a book club for my students to join. We will be reading stories and talking about them once a week. I just want to spread my love of reading to others and when you get older I will show you too."

"That's sounds like fun mommy. I like it when people read to me and hopefully I will like to read when I get older."

"I will help you start to learn Lilly because it was an important thing I did when I was growing up. You can learn lots of things by reading books."

"Mommy is Edward coming tonight. I miss him?"

"I don't think so baby because he called and a lot of people got hurt and he has to stay and make them feel better."

"Ok do you think I could talk to him if he calls you if I am still up?"

"Of course baby, maybe I can send him a message that he can read when he is able to."

"Yeah I can send him one too!"

"Sure what do you want to say and I will type it."

"Hmmm say I miss you Edward and can't wait to see you and visit you at your nice house. Ask him if I can bring some toys over there to keep for when I visit again!"

"Ok I sent it to him and when he can he may respond to it. Lilly do you really like it over at Edward's house?"

"Oh Yes Mommy I really do it's so pretty and big over there and I like it when it's just us. I love grand pop Charlie and Grandma Sue but it feels nice like we are a family when it's just us."

OMG I think this young 5yr old is more in tune to things that I thought.

"How would you feel if we were to move there and live there all the time?"

"I don't know Mommy; I would miss grandpa and grandma an awful lot. I really love it at Edwards but will I still get to see grandma and grandpa?"

"Oh Lilly of course you would see them all the time. They are always going to be in our lives, we would just not be living here. Edward has asked us to move in with him but I want you to feel comfortable there and not afraid. Maybe we can do a couple of sleepovers until you feel more comfortable."

"Yeah I would like that."


	13. Chapter 13

**I am sorry this took so long. My husband had more medical issues that kept me really busy. I hope I didn't lose anyone with all the waiting here. I am going to plea again for some reviews. If you read my chapter please review and just say if you like it or not. I am not sure if I am doing well or not because No one have offered to beta my story so I have no clue on how well or bad I am doing..I try and respond to reviews the best I can. I love them all. Thanks for sticking with me. I am also going to try and do a one shot for Fandom for Sexual assault awareness but need a beta for that too. We will see. Thanks for everything!**

Chapter 13

EPOV (I know that is something you probably never expected)

I was so upset that I wouldn't get to see Lilly or Bella tonight because there was a 3 car pileup out on the highway. When I hung up with Bella all the ambulances started to come in. There were so many people in the cars we were trying to decide which ones would be seen first. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket but I couldn't look at it yet. Hopefully it was Bella with some message that would lighten my mood a little bit.

My dad was called in also and he wasn't thrilled about it either. After a couple of hours we were able to get a coffee break together. I then looked at my phone and I could have cried. It was from Lilly but Bella typed it for her. My dad looked at me weird for a minute.

"Son, what is wrong you look like you want to cry."

"Dad I just got a text from Bella but the message is actually from Lilly. I do not know how to explain how I am feeling. This little girl isn't even my own daughter and I have so much love for her I just can't comprehend it. Then there is Bella and I just am overwhelmed. I never thought when I decided to come back and work with you that I would find Bella again and that special girl of hers. Ever since that Sunday brunch my life has turned inside out for the better and I am so afraid of losing it all. I am not sure if she feels as strong for me as I feel for her. I know she loves me dad and she still has some insecurities but I couldn't go on living without her."

"Oh son, I am so happy for you that you have found your soul mate. There is someone for everyone out there and I have found that in your mother. I pray all the time that my children would find it too and you have found it in Bella. Alice and Emmett have found it in Jasper and Rose also and it makes me and your mom so extremely happy. Lilly is indeed a very special little girl and she is very lucky to have you."

"Dad Bella is thinking about moving in with me with Lilly soon but I want it to be permanent. Do you think it is too early to ask her to marry me in the near future?"

"Only you can answer that Edward but I know it's only been a few months but love isn't timed. It's in your hearts and you know when it's time to propose but maybe this Tyler thing has to be straightened out first before Bella would say Yes. Have you talked to Jenks about it?"

"I did before we went away and I was thinking of calling him tomorrow. This stuff with Tanya has been occupying my mind lately. Bella has been so upset that Tanya will cause problems with her job or with Lilly. One step at a time I guess for now but do I have time to make a call before going back upstairs?"

"Of course Son, just not too long ok."

"Thanks dad"

BPOV

Lilly and I were watching TV after dinner and when the commercials came on we would talk about what to bring to Edward's house. I heard my cell phone ring and ran to get it in case it was Edward.

"Hello"

"Hey Beautiful! How are you doing?"

"Hey Edward I am fine but I have a little someone who really wants to talk to you. She actually is jumping up and down now that she knows you are on the phone."

'Edward I miss you! Are you fixing everybody up?"

"Yes Princess I am trying to make everybody feel better. I miss you and mommy too! I got your message and I am so glad you love it at my house. You can bring over anything you want sweetheart!"

"Oh thank you Edward here is Mommy!"

"Hey baby! Bella you have no idea on how I felt when I looked at my phone and saw a message from you and Lilly. That little girl has my emotions in a whirlwind. I have never felt so much love before in my life. I am so happy baby you and Lilly are in my life. I wish I could be there with you now!"

"Oh Edward we are happy to be in your life too. We both love you very much. Be safe at work and I will talk to you tomorrow."

The next day I went in to school, and talked with Mr. Banner about my book club idea.

"Mr. Banner I wanted to know if I could start a Book Club for our students to join. We would meet once a week and discuss chapters we read. I know we do this in class but this would be books the kids are interested in and giving them something different than video games or TV to watch would be beneficial."

"Wow Ms Swan I am impressed with you and your knowledge. I think it would be a great idea but we could not supply the books. The kids would be responsible for getting their own books. Let me know what day you decide to have it after school."

"Thank you so much Mr. Banner, this means a lot to me."

I was so excited when I left school and after I picked up Lilly we went to the store and I got some supplies to make posters. I was going to discuss this idea in my classes tomorrow and maybe some of the kids would like to make the posters. . I also had to go to the jewelry store to pickup Edward's gift from Lilly and myself.

When I got home I started dinner and got my papers out to grade from the surprise quiz today. I text Edward to see if he was coming over tonight for dinner. It was just going to be us because Charlie was eating over Sue's place tonight. I really have to sit down and discuss when they are getting married because I want to be over at Edward's at that time. I can't believe I am actually thinking about moving in with Edward Cullen. Sometimes I have to pinch myself that I am actually dating Edward. It always seemed such a far reach of possibility.

B-

Hey Babe I will definitely be over tonight probably in an hour or so. Miss you! Give Lilly a kiss for me!

E-

E-

Miss you too and so does Lilly. She is actually jumping up and down she is so excited she will see you tonight. We have to talk tonight! Only good things! Love ya!

B.

B-

Xoxoxoxoxoxo! Love ya too!

E.

I was so excited I would see Edward tonight and get some kisses. I love his kisses and I don't seem to be able to go 24 hours without them.

I continued grading papers while the chicken and rice casserole was cooking. Lilly was watching cartoons to keep her busy. The doorbell rang and I got up and ran to the door. When I opened it up, I attacked Edward and hugged him tight. I missed him so much and my emotions were really overboard I was almost in tears.

We pulled away and he looked at me all concerned.

"Bella what wrong? Is everything ok?"

"Yeah Edward everything is great now. I don't know why I am so emotional I just missed you so much and I don't want to let you go. It's getting harder and harder lately."

Edward was holding onto me while we walked into the house and he whispered in my ear that he agrees with me totally.

"Edward, Edward you are here!" Lilly said as she was running and ended up hugging his legs.

"Yes I am here you little princess!' he was tickling her as he was saying that and I just was overwhelmed and started to cry so I escaped to the kitchen so Edward wouldn't think I was this loony person.

I was checking the casserole in the kitchen and I felt Edward walk in. He hugged me around my waist from behind and kissed my neck.

I turned around and he saw that I was crying again. He just hugged me and pulled me down onto one of the kitchen chairs and just held me while I sat in his lap.

"I don't know what is wrong with me. I had a great day today and things are moving along good so I just don't get it."

"I just think that we had to deal with so much lately that now there is down time with no drama and you are emotional. It will be okay Bella and anyway before you know it we will be all together. You still want to move in with me right?"

"I actually was going to talk to my dad because I want to know when they are getting married. I want to be out of here once they start their new life together. They don't need Lilly and I hanging around."

I big smile was on Edward face when he realized this was actually going to happen.

We had a nice dinner and Lilly was very talkative to Edward. She was telling him all the things she was bringing to his house the next time we went. I told him how I talked to Mr. Banner about my book club idea and I was very excited to talk to my students about it the next day. He was smiling as we talked and I felt like we were a little family.

"Edward if we moved in together and live at your house will that mean you will be my daddy?"

We both froze because we didn't know how to answer that.

"Lilly one day I would love nothing better than to be your daddy all the time. I love you both so much and it means a lot to me that you would actually want that. We will see what happens when the time is right."

"Ok Edward. I love you too very much."

I looked at Edward and it looked like his eyes were tearing up. My goodness what is with this day already.

At that point my dad came home and Lilly ran up to him and said,

"Grandpa, Grandpa, Edward is going to be my daddy one day. Isn't that the bestest thing ever!"

My dad smiled and looked at Lilly and then at us and said,

"That is wonderful news Lilly! I am sure he will be a great dad!"

After I got everything cleared up and Lilly to bed, I came downstairs to talk to my dad.

"Hey dad, I wanted to discuss something with you. I was wondering if you and Sue have picked a date for your wedding?"

"Wow Bells we actually discussed that tonight and Sue would like to ask the Cullen's if we could use their backyard in the garden and we were thinking of doing it soon before the cold weather starts."

"Charlie I am sure my parents would be thrilled you want your wedding at their house and my mom would be thrilled to plan it for you."

"We don't want anything over the top. Just our family and friends is all. We were thinking of October 15th."

"Wow dad that is like 4 weeks away, I think you better call Carlisle and Esme ASAP!"

"I was going to talk to Carlisle tomorrow but if you think I should call them now I will."

I looked at Edward and he then pulled his phone out.

"Hey mom, it's Edward. What are you and dad doing on October 15th?"

I cracked up the way he started that conversation.

"Nothing that great but I am going to put Charlie Swan on the phone because he has a question for you."

"Hi Esme! I was going to do this in person but these kids had other ideas. I asked Sue Clearwater to marry me and she said yes. Yeah I know it's great at our age but anyway Sue would really like to have the ceremony in your backyard and we were wondering what you thought about that."

I saw my dad pull the phone away from his ear and I heard Esme screaming. I guess she was excited about it. I took the phone from my dad laughing.

"Hey Esme its Bella! Yeah I am very happy for both of them. I know we have lots to plan but remember this is Sue's and Dad's day so whatever they want. Please do not go overboard because the Swans are the overboard type of people. I know once Alice hears she will go crazy but please listen to Sue and whatever she wants, that's it. Let me know what you need and I will get it done for you. No esme we don't want you spending anything for this. Ok well you call Sue tomorrow and go over everything. Thanks Esme I love you too!"

"She is so going to go overboard Dad but I will try and reign her in the best I can."

"It's Ok Bells I want Sue to have a great day. I am going to call her to expect a call from Esme and then go to bed. Sweet dreams sweetheart! I love you very much! Our lives are changing Bells for the good so just let go and enjoy yourself."

"I know daddy and I love you too very much."

After my dad went upstairs Edward and I just relaxed for a bit on the couch.

"Bella, can I take you out to dinner tomorrow night? I know it's a school night and if you have papers to do we can plan it another time but I would really like to take you out tomorrow?"

"That would be fine Edward but I just have to check with my dad to see if he can watch Lilly or if I have to get someone else. I can let you know tomorrow for sure."

"That's great Bella. I guess I really should be going so you can get to bed. I love you so much Bella Swan!"

"I love you too very much Edward."

The next day things were busy at school and the day went by really fast. When I picked up Lilly at school I told her that grandpa and sue was going to watch her for a little bit while Edward and I went out to dinner by ourselves.

Edward picked me up at 6pm and we went to a nice Mexican restaurant. We had a table in the back and it was a little more private. We looked at the menu and placed our orders.

"Bella, I wanted to talk with you alone and that is one reason why I wanted us to go out tonight. Plus I really wanted to spend some time with you. I just wanted to tell you that I cherish everything about you and Lilly and the feelings I feel for both of you are extreme and intense. I am not sure if you feel the same way about me but I just can't put into words how both of you make me feel. When I decided to come back and work with my dad I had no idea I would see you and that my life would turn upside down. It was the best decision I ever made and I am so glad you are in my life. You make me feel complete and whole Bella and it scares me because I don't want to mess up and lose you. I couldn't bear it if that happened but I want a future with you and Lilly."

OMG I was mess with that confession from Edward and I felt my tears starting to fall.

"Edward that is the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me. I feel the same way about you and it scares me too. I have so much baggage and I am always afraid you will get tired with it and say "that's it I can't take anymore." You complete me also and I couldn't live without you. I can't even go 24 hours without your kisses!"

We laughed and kissed and then our food arrived. We had a good time and enjoyed our meal and before we knew it we were heading back to Charlie's house. I think if Lilly is still up we will give him our gifts.

When we got to the house it was only 7:30pm so I told Lilly to go upstairs and get Edward's present.

Lilly came back downstairs with the bag very excited and ran to get Edward. She brought him to the kitchen and he was very confused.

"Edward Lilly and I wanted to get you a gift because we love you and appreciate everything you have done for us."

"Bella you didn't have to do that."

"I know Edward but we wanted to just like you wanted to get me this beautiful necklace."

He sat down and opened the gift bag and opened the watch box. His eyes opened wide when he saw it and smiled. (Link of watch on my profile)

"Bella, how did you know that I wanted this watch? I was just looking at it in a magazine and was going to buy it one day. This is amazing!"

"Edvard there is more! My present in there somewhere."

Edward laughed and looked in the bag again and brought out the keychain that matched the watch.

"Oh Lilly it is beautiful and thank you so much!"

He picked her up and hugged and kissed her and then she wiggled out of his embrace and ran to tell my dad about his presents.

He got up and came over to me and hugged and kissed me too.

"Thank you so much Bella for these gifts. All I do for you is out of love and I really don't think twice about it. You and Lilly are my life now and I will do anything for you."

We went out to finish watching some TV and cuddled before Edward had to go home. I couldn't wait til we were all together and no one had to leave. Tomorrow is my birthday and I am hoping not too much fuss is made.

The next morning when I woke up I smelled something amazing like bacon and pancakes. I got my robe and walked downstairs after using the bathroom and saw an unusual site. My dad and Lilly trying to make breakfast and they seemed to be doing a good job.

"Something smells good down here."

Lilly turned around and saw me and wished me a happy birthday!

"Thank you baby but what are you and grandpop doing?"

"Bells I wanted to make breakfast for you and I am following Sue's directions. It's ready so lets sit down and eat."

We all sat down to eat and it was amazingly good. When I was almost done eating there was a knock on the door. I got up to get it and it was a flower delivery of roses for me. They were so beautiful and amazing.

They were from Edward of course and they were so beautiful.

"Hello beautiful!"

"Edward I got the flowers and they are so beautiful, thank you so much!"

"Your welcome baby but nothing could be more beautiful than you. Happy Birthday baby!"

"Thank you Edward."

He then told me he would be over in 1 hour and then we could decide what to do til our dinner reservations.

I helped my Dad clean up and then I went to take a shower. When I started to come downstairs I saw Edward and Charlie having a serious conversation and they both looked worried. I would have to ask Edward about that later.

"Hey baby, how is my birthday girl!"

Edward said as he came over to give me a kiss.

"I am fine because nobody has tried to embarrass me yet for my birthday and hopefully that will not happen tonight either, right Edward!"

"Yes sweetheart!"

We talked about what we are doing today and I really just wanted to relax the three of us.

"Edward would you mind if we just went over to your place today so I can figure out where I am putting things in your house when we finally move there. I would just like to have a relaxing day with just the three of us."

"that sounds great Bella but bring a change of clothes and whatever you are wearing tonight."

"Ok let me go tell my dad."

"Dad would you mind terribly if Lilly and I went over Edward's for the day."

"That's fine Bella because I have to go in to the station for a couple of hours anyway. Don't feel like you have to babysit your old man!"

I laughed at him and said,

"You an old man, never!"

I ran upstairs to get everything ready.

Charlie POV

When Edward made it over I needed to talk to him about Renee and Bella. There was going to be some drama soon and Edward needed to be prepared.

"Edward, I need to talk to you before Bella gets back down here. Renee has been in contact with me concerning Bella. Once Bella finds out I am not sure how she will take it. Just make sure you are there for her just in case."

"I will always be here for Bella, chief Swan. That is something you don't have to worry about. Things are just calming down and I hope Bella will be able to handle things about her Mom!"

"Me too son, me too."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

**Hey Everyone ! I am sorry this took a while but it was a difficult chapter. I toyed back and forth with the lemon in this. Also we find out a little bit about Renee and If I offended anyone with her illness, I do apologize. **

Bella Pov

When we got to Edward's place Lilly went upstairs to her room to put her toys away and play for a while. I just stood in the middle of the room and looked around. Before I knew it I felt strong arms wrap around me from behind.

"What are you thinking Bella?"

I turned around to face him and said,

"I think I am the luckiest girl on earth that I get to live here with you. I just can't believe it's really happening. I love you so much Edward!"

'I love you too Bella so much and I can't wait until Lilly and you move in. It will be so perfect!"

All of a sudden we heard Lilly come running down the stairs.

I turned around and yelled,

"Lilly Renee Swan how many times have I told you no running inside the house. Just because you are at Edward's place doesn't make it ok"

"I am sorry mommy"

I turned around and looked at Edward and he had a surprised expression on his face.

"What?"

"You named her after your mom!"

"Yeah when I had Lilly I was missing my mom a lot and wanted her near me so I figured if I had her name for Lilly's middle name she would always been near in a way. Very weird huh!"

"No Bella it's not weird at all because it's a very good thing."

I looked around for a while to see where I was going to put some of my stuff and we relaxed for the rest of the afternoon.

We got ready to go to the restaurant and when we arrived I was very nervous because I didn't know what Edward, or Alice for that matter, had planned. Edward had Lilly in his arms and when I looked up at him I almost had tears in my eyes, we actually looked like a normal family. He looked at me as if to question what was wrong and I shook my head like saying 'nothing'.

Before we reached the room Edward turned to me and said,

"Bella is everything ok you just scared me."

"I am fine Edward; I just realized it looked like we were actually a family and it made me so happy I had tears. I really am ok but nervous what you have planned."

He smiled my favorite smile and kissed me and said,

"Just family and friends are here so do not worry."

We walked in and I was shocked on who all was here. We have our normal brood of people, carlisle,esme,charlie, sue,emmett,rose,jasper,alice. Also some of the guys from the station that I have known over the years.

I also saw a woman whom seemed familiar but her back was to me talking to Charlie. All of a sudden she turned around and I screamed and ran to her.

"OMG Angela I did not know you would be here. I can't believe you are actually here. I thought you had to go away this weekend to a meeting for work. Missy!"

"Oh Bella I am glad to see you too and I couldn't give away Edward's surprise!. This is THE EDWARD right?"

I nodded my head yes and she smiled and we hugged so tight.

"Angie, angie" Lilly yelled and ran over to us.

"Hey little squirt, how are you doing?"

"I fine but I miss you!"

Edward came up and gave me a kiss and smiled. He took me away for a little bit and wanted me to meet some of his fellow co workers. There was this guy named Ben Cheney and Matt Gosler that Edward was friends with. They seemed very nice people but I noticed that Ben was watching Angela very closely. I elbowed Edward to show him and he smiled.

The party was a big success and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. Ben introduced himself to Angela and they seem to be hitting it off.

After everyone left, Edward, Lilly and I went back to his place. I got Lilly in bed and she fell asleep real fast since she was so tired.

I came back downstairs and Edward was on couch with some wine and glasses waiting for me.

I sat down and cuddled with him while we listened to jazz music.

"Edward thank you so much for the best birthday ever!"

He kissed my forehead and whispered' your welcome!'

I started to think about past birthdays and I always wanted my mom to show up or call and that never happened. After a while I gave up and didn't look forward to any birthdays and Charlie really didn't make a big deal about them. We celebrated them but nothing big or special and that was ok with me. I didn't realize tears were falling from my face until Edward lifted my chin because he felt tears.

"Baby what is wrong?" he asked wiping away my tears.

"I don't know Edward. It's just that all my life on my birthday I never really celebrated them because I always wished my Mom would come home or call me. When that never happened I just didn't care about my birthday anymore. Today you changed all that because of all the care you took into making it special. Charlie tried but after awhile it wasn't worth it because the only thing I wanted was my Mom to make me feel special. I miss her so much Edward and that's why I gave Lilly her name for her middle name. I don't even think Charlie knows that but I miss her so much. I really need to know what happened and why she never wanted me."

"Bella I am sure there is a logical explanation to all of it and maybe you will find out soon."

"Edward what did you and my dad talk about earlier? I saw you guys talking all serious."

Edward sighed and looked like he was trying to figure out what to say.

"Bella he just wanted to make sure I will always be there for you and support you when you need it."

Something didn't seem right and before I asked my next question he broke the silence.

"Bella I promised you I would never lie to you and I really don't know if I should keep this a secret or not but oh well it's too late now."

"Bella your mom has been in touch with your dad lately and that's all I know. I am sure Charlie will talk to you about it. He just wanted to give me a heads up because he doesn't know how you will react. "

"Well I am glad you guys are talking about this and not giving me a clue. I have waited all my life to hear something from her and he hears from her and doesn't tell me. That's so unfair Edward. I am really upset with my dad right now."

"Baby I know how you're feeling but you have dealt with a lot lately and I am sure your dad wanted to wait until things died down. We will talk to him tomorrow ok."

He kissed me and I calmed down and nodded.

"Edward can you promise me that no matter how crazy I get or how crazy my mom is that you will be here."

"I promise Bella always!"

"Let's go upstairs and cuddle some more in bed."

I smiled because I definitely liked the sound of that. I had to show Edward how much I appreciate him.

For tonight it's just me and Edward in our own bubble!

When we got upstairs to his bedroom we were taking our clothes off and getting ready for bed. We got under the covers and just cuddled with each other.

"Bella, I hope I don't scare you off but I want to tell you something. Have you ever felt so in love with a person that all you want to do is climb inside their body and stay there? That is how I feel for you and sometimes it scares me on how much love I feel for you. When we are apart, I constantly think about you and look forward to when I will see you again. When I come over Charlie's I dread the time when I have to leave. My feelings are so intense for you and I have never, ever felt like this before."

I looked at Edward stunned that he had these intense feelings for me but I could really understand them because I felt the same way.

"Edward I feel the same way and I just love you so much. Edward I want you to be with me intimately tonight but I would like to discuss something with you. I know when we have made love before you have been very gentle and considerate of my feelings. I also appreciate that but you have been always in control and holding back. I would like to give you the gift of 'no holding back'. I am not as breakable as you think and I want you to experience loving me and showing me those intense feelings you have for me and just feel instead of worrying about being too rough with me. I have intense feelings for you too and I want us to just enjoy the feelings. Do you think you could do that for me?"

When I looked up at Edward his eyes got a dark lust look to them and I knew he was turned on by what I said.

"Bella, I don't want to hurt you but I also want to show you my true feelings for you. You have to promise me that if I hurt you, we have to stop and you tell me."

"I promise."

Edward turned over to his nightstand and turned on his ipod music with his sexy playlist. We started kissing and touching each other all over. Before I knew it Edward was on top of me straddling my legs and playing with my clit to make sure I was wet enough. He took some of my juice and used his fingers inside of me to get me lubricated.

"I need you inside of me now Edward."

Then he was inside of me filling me up with his gorgeous cock. He lifted my legs on his shoulders and he was at a different angle and he felt so good. I was looking at him and he was doing as I asked and enjoying the feelings. He was thrusting in and out so hard but it was so pleasurable and I was moving my hips to meet him. It was the most intense pleasurable feeling I have felt so far.

"Edward please look at me."

He opened his eyes and looked at me and I could see all the love he had for me. I thought I could see tears in his eyes but wasn't quite sure. Soon after that we both came harder than we ever had before and it was the best orgasm ever!

We collapsed together next to each other, afraid to let go of one another for fear of losing this intense bliss. I looked up at him and kiss him chastely and said,

"Thanks for my birthday gift. I am not talking about the party, seeing Angela or my material gift. I am talking about feeling your orgasm and letting go for me. The looks on your face seeing you enjoy having sex with me and not holding back was the best birthday gift I could ever get."

I saw tears come down Edward's face.

"I never ever experienced anything as intense and wonderful in my life. I am so happy you are in my life and I never want to let go of you. Bella, you have fears I will run away from all your drama and baggage but I also have fears you will get tired of me or I will do something totally stupid and you will walk away. I could not live in a world without you by my side. Baby I love you more than my own life."

"Oh Edward I love you more than my own life too. I could never leave you so don't even worry about that."

We continued holding each other and fell asleep.

The next morning we got up and took a shower (of course we conserved energy), got dressed and ate some breakfast. Edward had called his mom and asked her to keep Lilly a little while longer. He briefly told her what was going on and asked her to be available for Bella if she needed it. We decided if she needed my mom Alice and Rose would take Lilly out.

I then decided to call my dad.

"Hello"

"Hey dad! I was wondering if Edward and I can come over in a little while to talk to you about something."

"Sure bells I will be here all day. Sue is here too, is that ok."

"Yeah dad that's fine. We will be there within half hour."

When we got to my dad I looked at Edward.

"Edward I am scared on what I am about to hear. I have waited for this for a long time but now I am so scared."

"I know baby but I will be here for you and so will everyone else. Maybe you could move on from all those feelings you have bottled up inside."

I nodded and went to get out of the car but Edward was right there helping me.

We walked in and Sue and my dad were at the table drinking coffee.

"Hey dad, Sue!"

"Hey Bella, Edward is everything ok?"

"I am not sure dad. You have been keeping something from me. You may not want Sue here though. It's up to you."

Charlie looked at Edward.

"Charlie she saw us talking and I promised her I would never lie to her."

"I understand son, Bella let's sit down and Sue I want you to stay."

Sue got up and got everyone some coffee.

"Daddy why didn't you tell me mom had contacted you? You know how long I have been waiting for that. How could you not tell me?"

"First of all, your mom just recently contacted me. After she left we had some correspondence but she was very vague. I tried to find her multiple times but always came up blank."

"When you were born your mom and I was so happy and excited for our future. You were a great baby and slept through most of the night early on."

"Your mom loved you very much but sometimes she was sad. When you were up she was alive but when you were sleeping she felt lost and alone. She didn't understand any of her feelings and anger started to seep in. She was always afraid of taking something out on you."

"Just so you know, I didn't know any of this until recently. She never talked to me about anything. I knew she was acting differently and I asked Carlisle about it. He said it could be post partum depression but was hard to say."

"When you were about 4 yrs old she came to me and said she had to leave. I was totally stunned and couldn't believe what I was hearing. She said she felt trapped and alone and needed more from her life. She didn't want to leave you but she was afraid of her feelings and doing something to you. She felt if she stayed you would suffer worse than if she left."

"She left and stayed with some friends in Phoenix and tried different ideas on improving her life. One day she would be fine, the next day she would be acting crazy. All the doctors she went to never seem to be able to help her."

"About 4 yrs ago she met someone and has been seeing him for a while. They have a doctor in the family and diagnosed her with Manic Depression Disorder. She has been through a lot of tests and different meds and now is a lot better."

"Bells I wanted to tell you but you had so much going on and I was going to wait til after your birthday. She wants to see you."

I was crying at this point and didn't know if to be happy that she finally contacted us or extremely mad that it took her this long.

I stood up and started to pace back and forth.

"I just don't get it, dad. How could it take her 20 years to get help? Why couldn't she just go to Carlisle and stay here? I still don't think she wanted me and all the inferiority of not feeling wanted by your mom did a lot of damage to me. Maybe I wouldn't of left when I got pregnant."

OMG noooooo!

I just realized I was just like my mom. I ran away from everyone and made a bad decision. Did she realize she made a bad decision? I ran away from everyone in the woods behind my house. I heard Edward calling me and remembered I promised him I wouldn't leave him. I turned around and ran to him.

When I got to him I cried,

"I am sorry I ran from you. I promised you I would never leave you. I just needed to get away. I am no better than my mom!"

"Bella its ok I knew you weren't leaving me. You are nowhere near being your mom."

"Yes I am Edward! Don't you see she felt the need to run and not ask for help, I felt the need to run when I got pregnant and I didn't ask for help either?"

"Oh Bella it's different. You came back and understood what you did and you have moved on from it."

"I don't think your mom understand what she did. If she did she would of came back a long time ago. You are so much better than her. Why don't we go back to your dad's."

I nodded and we walked back. When we walked through the door, Sue ran to Bella.

"Oh sweetie are you ok!"

I looked at Charlie and he was fiddling with his hands in his lap.

"Sue I will be ok I think. It's just a lot to take in at once. I ran because I realized I was no better than my mom when I ran away when I got pregnant . "

"Daddy I am so sorry you had that done to you twice. I never realized til now what I did to you. "

"Bells we are over that and I knew bringing this up would bring those feelings back but you are no where even close to being like your mom. You ran for a different reason and I never want you to compare yourself to her again. I love you Bells but I think you need to confront her so she can see what she has done to you."

"I know daddy but I am just scared!"

"I know you are Bells but you have such a support team. Your mom had been ill for a while and maybe she can explain herself better."

"Bella you are so much stronger than you were when you got here. If you can accomplish Rosalie's sarcasm and Tanya's attitude you can attack this too."

"I know Sue and thank you for the support."

"I think I want to think about this for a while. Edward I would like to visit with your parents without Lilly being there. Also I need your dad there too. I have questions for him."

He nodded and understood and went to make phone calls.

I went to hung Sue and my dad and said my "I love you."

"Love, Alice will be picking up Lilly in 30 minutes and will take her to school tomorrow. Dad will be home in 1 hour. "

"Ok. Thanks Edward!"

"Dad we are going to go now. I want to ask Carlisle some questions and ask Esme's opinion. It's not that I don't value yours or Sue's I just need her opinion is all."

"Bells don't worry about it; we are not offended at all. Esme was there for you growing up so it's natural to have a bond with her. We love you bells."

I hugged both of them and then Edward and I left.

"Edward can we go to the diner and get something to eat that is totally not good for us at all."

He smiled and said "no problem babe"

We ate greasy burgers, fries with gravy and milkshakes.

We got over to the Cullen's and walked inside and Esme was right there hugging me.

"How are you sweetheart?""

"I don't really know. I am so confused."

"Talk to me honey. Do you want something to eat?"

We laughed!

"No mom, we just pigged out at the diner. I will let you two talk, I am going to find dad."

"He is in his office."

He kissed me on the forehead!

"Call me if you need me."

I looked over at Esme and smiled.

"Esme I just don't know what to think. She claims she has been ill for a long time with some manic depression and never got any help until recently. No one knew what to do for her. Isn't it too farfetched? Couldn't she had contacted me and explained so I wouldn't feel so unwanted. I left just like she did and I was convinced I was just like her until Edward, Charlie and Sue convinced me otherwise. Why didn't she come to Carlisle instead of leaving? She wants to see me and I am scared of bringing these feelings that I have buried out. When I realized that I ran just like her, I ran away to the woods and I promised Edward I wouldn't run away again from him. I let him down even after the best night we ever had. I convinced him to love me and not hold back and to just feel and it was amazing. He cried though because it was so magical for us and then I go and run. I disappointed him and let him down. I feel like I am going backwards again because of my mom."

"Oh sweetie come here and let me hug you. All the questions you have, only Renee can answer. Even though some old things are resurfacing once they are faced it will be over and you will never wonder. Who knows you may even be able to build a relationship with her. Now for Edward, thanks for the TMI, but you didn't let Edward down or disappoint him. He knew when this came out you would react differently. You are here with him now so I don't want to hear you let him down. You need to ask him to feel satisfied though. I think you should meet with her but with support not by yourself. "

I was crying again and I said to Esme that I needed Edward.

She yelled for Edward and he came running.

"Mom is she ok what's wrong."

"She just needs you. Bella do you see how he reacted, how could you think you let him down."

"What do you mean mom. Why do you think Bella let me down? How could you say that?"

"Calm down Edward. I didn't say it, Bella thinks that because she ran into the woods and she promised you she would never run away from you."

Edward sat on the couch and took Bella on his lap and held her while rocking her.

"Bella baby, I am not disappointed in you and you have not let me down. I knew you would react differently and I ran after you to make sure you were ok. Look at Bella"

She turned and looked at me and nodded that she understood.

We stayed like that for a while and then Esme and Carlisle came back.

"ummm son I am glad you had a good night!"

I looked at my dad and mom smiling and then looked at Bella.

"Sorry I was just so overwhelmed that I let you down I might have told your mom a little about last night. Sorry!"

I smiled and kissed her forehead.

"It's alright baby, I was going to talk to my dad concerning my emotions anyway. I still don't understand why I cried. "

"Yep best night of my life!"

We all laughed and Bella asked my dad about manic depression and found out some interesting facts.

Epov

"Dad, can I speak with you in your office?"

"Sure son."

"Bella I will be right back."

She nodded and I walked to my dad's office.

"Ok dad last night Bella and I had a magical night. I have been holding back when we have been intimate because I didn't want to be so rough with her and make her relive what Tyler did. Last night she asked me to make love to her but not to hold back. Obviously she had picked up on what I was doing. We also talked about our feelings and admitted to each other that they were pretty intense. This maybe too much information but I never experienced this before. When we were "doing it" so to speak and she asked me to look at her and just feel, I cried dad. I have never cried before like that and my emotions were all over the place. She told me afterwards that seeing me experience an orgasm with feeling and not holding back was the best birthday gift ever! I lost it dad and I don't understand."

"Oh son, we all have been there that have met our soul mates. When I met your mother and we got more serious in our relationship and were intimate I had felt like that more than once. It's just that they reach your heart in a way no other did and sometimes it's overwhelming. Just enjoy it and don't feel bad if you get emotional. We men have a stereotype that we don't cry but we are human too. Bella is a special person with what she said to you and you better hang on to her for life. Have you thought about using your grandmother's ring when you decide to propose, and I know you will, or pick something else out?

I am not sure yet dad. I will have to look at grand mom's ring again and see. I really love her more than anything dad and I can't imagine my life without her or Lilly. Do you think I should talk to Bella about adopting Lilly?

I think you definitely need to talk to Bella if that's what you want to do but you have to wait till all paperwork is done concerning Tyler. Jenks should be able to help out with that too.

Thanks dad, I love you!

Love you too, son!

Bpov

When Edward came back from talking to his dad he seemed alright. We decided to leave and go back to his place and I wanted to talk to Lilly before she went to bed.

I called Lilly and she was telling me about all the fun she had with Alice and Rose today and that Alice was taking her to school. I told her to be good and I would see her after school tomorrow. Now I had one more phone call to make.

"Hello!"

"Hey dad it's Bella!"

"Bella are you ok?"

"Yeah dad I think I am ok. I just wanted to call you and tell you that I will see mom. Set it up for me but I do not want Lilly there and I want Edward, Esme and Carlisle there along with you and Sue. I can't be by myself for this."

"Ok bells I didn't expect you to do it by yourself. I will set it up for you and let you know. Honey I hope you aren't too mad at me for keeping this from you."

"No daddy I am not mad at you, I understand, I love you daddy very much."

"Love you too bells, good night."

As I walked to our bedroom (yeah soon it will be our room) I felt a little relieved that this part was over. Hopefully seeing my mom again won't be too bad. Yeah right who am I kidding but I need to do it for my family's future.

**I would really appreciate it if I could get some more reviews. I think I got cut on how many people are reading my story. This is my first fanfic and I am trying my best. Thanks for everyone's support.**

**Does anyone else love the trailer for "water for elephants". I read the book and I can't wait. As I was reading it, I was picturing Rob Pattinson playing the part. **


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

**Hi everyone! Here is the next chapter with the confrontation with Renee. I am sorry it took me so long to get this up but I am also doing a one shot for fandom 4SAA and I had to finish that. I hope I don't offend anyone with Renee's medical condition because that is not my intent. Please review my story so I know if I am doing ok. Love ya all!**

My book club I organized has been turning out really well. I got about 10 girls signed up and they are trying to get their boyfriends to join. They picked out this vampire series and they are really getting into the book.

Lilly was so excited to see me on Monday and I missed her so much. I started thinking about the conversation I had with Edward the night before.

Flashback

"Bella, I would like to discuss something with you. Once the paperwork for Tyler is all done, I would like to adopt Lilly. I wanted to know what you thought about that."

"Oh Edward, you are such a sweet man. I would like nothing better than for you to adopt Lilly but we would have to discuss it with her. I am sure she will be excited."

"Bella, that would make me so happy and I just know that everything will work out fine. I am calling Jenks tomorrow to see what we have to do and see how the paperwork is doing with what Tyler has to sign."

End of Flashback

When we go home to Charlie's house, I got Lilly some juice and cookies. We were sitting at the table enjoying our snack.

"Lilly, what do you think of Edward? Do you think of him as a friend, buddy or anything else?"

"Mommy I love him and I wish he was my daddy."

"I am glad to hear that because that is what he wants to do. He has been there for you since we got back here and would do anything for you. There may be some wait for it to happen but it will happen Lilly."

"Do you think I could call him daddy though?"

"I think that is something you need to ask Edward."

"Ok Mommy."

"How do you feel about moving into Edward's place this coming weekend?"

"Yippee! That would be so cool."

"Ok good sweetie. You can go watch your cartoons now."

I started to make dinner and then Charlie came home. He saw me in the kitchen and came in and gave me a hug.

"I love you Bells and I am so sorry about yesterday."

"I know daddy and I love you too and I am ok now. I just wanted to let you know that tonight I am going to talk to Edward about moving in to his place this coming weekend. I just feel like I need to be with him."

"I know sweetheart and I will help you anyway I can. I will see if I could switch with some of the guys to be home on Saturday to help you move."

"Thanks daddy!"

Edward came over shortly after that and we all sat down to eat dinner. When we were done we were resting our stomachs and Lilly broke the silence.

"Edward, do you want to be my daddy?"

A surprised look was on Edward's face along with a big smile.

"I would love to be your daddy one day, princess."

"Mommy said it would take a while to happen but I was wondering if it would be alright if I could call you daddy now."

"Of course you can call me daddy if you want. One day I would like to adopt you and to have my last name."

"Why would I have your last name when mommy's name will be Swan?"

"Well Lilly one day I expect to ask your mommy to marry me and then she will have my last name too."

"Wow that would be cool!"

She got up and hugged Edward and went into the other room.

I was almost in tears and my dad had a huge smile on his face. I got up to clear the dishes and Edward helped.

"Edward there is something I would like to ask you. I want to know if it would be ok with you if Lilly and I moved in this coming weekend. I just need to be with you as much as possible and I don't want to wait. I was thinking we could get help from our friends and it shouldn't take too long."

"Baby, I am so happy you want to move in this weekend. I need to be with you too but I have to work on Saturday. I will see if I could switch with someone and have off. If some reason I can't, you can just move your stuff in and I will be here asap. I will talk to Emmett and Jasper tomorrow. Oh Bella, this is going to be so great!"

"Yeah it will be great, now give me a kiss and go sit with dad and Lilly. I have a lot of papers to correct."

He kissed me and I moaned which really didn't stop him. We stopped though and he smacked me on the ass and went to be with Lilly and my dad. All I heard was, 'she kicked you out huh!'

The next day on Bella's lunch she got a call from Charlie.

"Hey dad"

"Hey bells. I heard back from your mom. She lives in Florida now but she can come here around 9/28/11. That is about 10 days from now, is that ok."

"That's fine dad, I just want to get this over with."

"I understand Bells, I love you baby girl."

"Love you too dad"

The rest of the day took too long. I wanted to see Edward and he was working late tonight. I decided to bring him some dinner after we ate. My dad said he would take care of Lilly and put her to bed.

I decided to be a little sneaky and put some lingerie on and my coat on top. I was going to make his daydream a reality.

I got ready and drove to the hospital. All the while driving I was second guessing myself but by the time I got there I had my courage. I passed Lauren and asked if Edward was in his office. She told me that he was talking with another doctor in the break room.

"Lauren, can you give me 5 minutes and then ask Edward to go to his office but don't tell him I am here."

"Sure thing, Bella."

I put his dinner on his desk and then decided to sit on his desk facing his chair. I heard him come in and walked around and saw me. He was totally surprised that I was here.

"Bella!"

"Hey Edward. I thought you could use some dinner and I missed you."

"I missed you too baby! Why don't you take your coat off?"

I think he knew what was going on but I wasn't ready yet.

"Please sit in your chair Edward; I have something to show you."

"What would you say to making a certain daydream a reality?"

His jaw opened wide and then started to unbutton my coat. When he had it undone he had a big smile.

I had my red lace bra and panty set on and he absolutely loved it. Once he was done opening my coat and roamed his hands all over my body, I got up to go lock the door and strolled myself back over to his desk.

"Now Dr. Cullen what should we do first. I really have a big itch that needs scratching."

"Where is this itch Ms. Swan?"

"It's in between my legs."

"Hmm, I guess I will have to do something about scratching that itch. Come here baby and let's see if I can help you out."

By this time he had his pants down and his cock was standing at attention. I straddled him and slid right on top of him and it felt so good. I have never done this before but it was kind of exciting which turned me on even more. It wasn't long before we came together and were totally exhausted. We stayed like that for a while and just held each other and kissed.

"Are you ok Bella, is there any other reason for this lovely surprise visit?"

"I am wonderful now. I just needed to see you Edward. I miss you so much when you work late. I also have to tell you something. My mom is coming and will be here in 10 days."

"Everything will be alright Bella. I will be right there with you and no one will ever hurt you again."

"I love you Edward."

"I love you too Bella."

He walked me to the door, I waved bye to Lauren and drove home a happy woman.

When I got home and went to bed I did something I haven't done in a long time. I prayed and asked for help in understanding everything going on in my life. Now, I am not a religious person but sometimes you just need the extra higher power of help. I ended up having a good night's sleep.

Charlie was able to get the weekend off but Edward had to work in the morning but would be able to help in the afternoon and all day Sunday.

There was no football game this weekend but they had practice on Sunday so Jasper and Emmett were good to help.

I packed up a little each night so by Friday everything was pretty much done. I was sad to leave Charlie but was so excited to be able to be with Edward all the time. Anyway, I could see my dad whenever I want.

Esme and Carlisle was watching Lilly until we got everything over to Edwards then they would bring her over to help.

All of us worked together and got all boxes and furniture in a small u haul it. Actually the only furniture I was bringing was some bookcases and Lilly's play table.

Before I knew it lunchtime wad here and we got everything over to Edward's. Esme and Carlisle brought Lilly over and some lunch.

We were almost done eating when I heard Edward come in. He had the biggest smile on his face and he picked me up and swung me around and kissed me.

"What was that for?"

"I am so happy that you and Lilly are finally here to stay. I have wanted this for so long."

"Me too Edward!"

When I realized everyone was watching us, I blushed. I then noticed Esme crying. I looked at Edward and he just shrugged. I went over to her and knelt down.

"Esme what is wrong, are you ok?

Do you not want Lilly and I to live here?"

"Nonsense Bella, I am just so happy for Edward. He was so lost for a long time after you left. He pushed himself so hard into his studies and after Tanya, I never thought I would see him happy. Although Tanya never did make him happy but he just didn't realize it. Bella, you brought my Edward back and for that I will be eternally grateful to you!"

We hugged each other and I told her that he brought me back to life also.

"Ok enough of this mushy stuff, time to get cracking!" yelled Emmett which produces a smack from Rose.

We all laughed and started to work in different areas. Lilly wanted her princesses on her wall and we put her play table in her new room.

We ordered pizza for dinner and we thanked everyone for all their help.

After everyone left it was so quiet and Edward just wanted to cuddle on the couch.

"I can't believe I am finally here living with you. When I decided to come back home I never thought my dream would come true being here with you."

"I am so glad you decided to come back and that you are here with me. Part I of my dream has come true."

"Part I?"

"Yeah Part 2 is when you are officially Mrs. Cullen!"

I just sat there and stared at him for the longest time. I moved onto his lap and we just kissed and held each other.

"I can't wait either."

After a while I got up and went to get Lilly ready for bed. When we were done with our bath we were relaxing in her bed.

"Baby, are you happy being here with Edward?"

"Yes Mommy I am so happy we are here but I do miss grand pop."

"I know baby I miss him too but we can see him anytime we want."

We hugged and kissed goodnight and when I turned around I saw Edward at the door.

"I just came to say goodnight to Lilly. I think since we are all here together now we can have a new nightly ritual that includes me saying goodnight to a very special princess."

Lilly giggled while Edward came up to her and kissed her goodnight.

"I am so happy you and your mom are here with me Lilly!"

"Me too Edward and maybe tomorrow night you can read me a story instead of mommy?"

'I would love to princess. Now time to go to sleep and have beautiful dreams, I love you Lilly."

"I love you Edward!"

I was so completely amazed of the love they have for each other. I knew then that we did the right thing in moving in with Edward.

We walked out and I never felt happier than right now.

The next week went by so fast and it was like heaven living with Edward. We had our nights together and he didn't have to leave to go home. We made love every chance we got and it was perfect.

I started to get butterflies in my stomach knowing my mom would be here soon. It was Thursday and the day was finally here when Renee would be coming to Forks. We weren't getting together til Saturday but I was still nervous.

I tried to distract myself in school but when I got home it was difficult. My dad called me and told me she was here and staying in the hotel with her boyfriend Phil.

I called out of work on Friday because I was sick to my stomach. Edward took Lilly to school for me and came back afterwards. Luckily he had 3 days off and would be there with me all weekend. Alice and Rose were going to pick up Lilly after school and she was staying with them all weekend.

We cuddles all day and watched movies and I just enjoyed being with Edward. The next day came quickly and I got up early and made some coffee and pastries for everyone. They were coming here in a couple of hours and then Renee and Phil would be here later.

The doorbell rang and Esme, Carlisle, Charlie and Sue came in and we sat down and had some coffee and pastries. They all hugged me and asked how I was doing.

When my dad came over to me to hug me I said to him,

"Daddy, don't let go of me today. I need you right there with me and Edward. I am scared to see her and what she has to say. I am also scared that once she sees me she will realize that she doesn't really want me and leave again. Promise me that no matter what she says that you won't leave me. I made Edward promise me that too."

"Bells, you are my daughter and my life. There is no way that I would leave you no matter what she says. I believe that she is sorry for what she did and wants to make amends. I will hold your hand as long as you need me. I LOVE YOU BABY GIRL!"

"Love you too daddy!"

Charlie knows that when I call him daddy I really need him.

The doorbell rang and I tensed. Edward looked at me and I nodded and he went to answer the door.

When I looked up I saw an older version of my mom walk in and a younger looking man.

"Bella look how beautiful you are!"

"Renee!" I couldn't bring myself to call her mom yet.

She came over and sat down next to me and Charlie was on my other side holding my hand.

"I know you have lots of questions for me but let me tell you that I am so sorry for what I put you through but at the time I thought it was for the best. I also want to thank you for seeing me."

"Yeah well I need to move on from all of this and I have questions that I need answer to. Do you remember Carlisle, Esme and Edward Cullen?"

"Yes I do." She got up and went over to Esme and Carlisle and hugged them. She came back and I told her Edward was my boyfriend.

I then turned to her and said,

"Ok, now explain tome this reasoning you had about leaving your husband and daughter because it was the best for them. Do you have any idea what you put them through? By leaving you put me through so much turmoil and doubt that I was ever wanted. Carlisle and Edward both are doctors so please no bullshit medical jargon."

"I am not here to give you a BS story to cover up my mistakes. I am here to explain things to you so hopefully you can understand. I brought Phil with me because he was the one who helped me get the medical attention I needed."

"Bella, when you were born it was the happiest time of my life. As you grew I was so happy to be with you but when you were sleeping or over a friend's house, I was miserable. Your dad was working longer to bring in more money so I could stay home with you and I hardly ever saw him. I knew once you started school things would get tough for me. I tried to get involved with different things but I got so aggravated. One day I would be fine and the next I would feel like I was going crazy. I hated the rain all the time in forks and I was so confused. When I told your dad I was leaving it was the hardest decision I ever made. I knew I had to get away to straighten my life out and once I did I had plans to come back for you. I tried anything I could think of to make myself happier but it just got worse. I decided after a couple of years to go see a doctor because nothing else was working. I went to a lot of different doctors but no one could pin point my problem."

"For years I went from town to town trying to fit in somewhere that I felt like I belonged. I tried different things but nothing happened for me until I met Phil 3 years ago. I told him my story and he set me up with his cousin who is a psychiatrist. He put me through a lot of tests and found out I have a form of Manic depression disorder. I got medication that finally works for me and I am so much better."

I stood up and paced back and forth until I stopped right in front of her.

"Did you ever think to write me or dad a letter or even calls us to explain? Did you ever realize that your actions could make me feel so unwanted by my own mother? Did you even realize that it could cause problems for my self esteem? No you didn't think of any of these things because you only thought of yourself. When you have a child or even love someone you put their needs before your own. I know about that because I have a daughter of my own and I love her more than life. I always think of her needs before my own. Do you know that my inferiority complex that you caused was picked up by my peers at school and they always teased me? Do you know I became pregnant because a boy played on my in securities and told me no one would want me and ended up raping me?"

At this point Edward was right there next to me holding me as I was shaking. I looked at Renee and she was crying.

"Listen I get it that you felt the need to run away because you were confused. I did the same thing when I found out I was pregnant but I came back to my family because I needed him. I got back to my friends and Edward cared enough about me to come back into my life. Edward is the best thing to ever happen to me besides giving birth to my daughter. Why couldn't you of stayed and went to Carlisle for help?"

"Bella, I didn't know at the time that I was ill and when I went to all those doctors I just figured no one could help me. I have made a lot of wrong decisions here and I am so sorry for what I did to you. I am here to try and make everything right again. I know it will not happen overnight but I want a chance to get to know you Bella. Do you think you have it in your heart to give me a second chance? I would love to meet my granddaughter too. Please Bella just think about it and let me know. Phil and I are here for however long we need to be. I love you Bella!"

"Don't just say you love me because you don't. if you did you would of tried to contact me or dad and explained everything to us. Give Edward your phone number and I will think about it. You hurt me badly Renee and I just don't know right now."

I ran to my bedroom and closed the door. I heard a knock and said to come in.

"Bells, are you ok?"

'I guess so daddy, I am just so confused. I know she was ill but she hurt me so badly."

"I know baby girl. Renee and Phil left already and Sue and I are going over to the Cullen's house for a while. If you need us or want to come over you know where to find us."

"Thanks daddy!"

After he left I laid down under the covers and curled into a ball. I felt the bed move and Edward get in and hold me from behind. I turned around to face him and just cried holding onto him. He rocked me and told me everything would be ok and he was very proud of me today. He started humming a lullaby I never heard before.


	16. Chapter 16

**Here it finally is… the next chapter. I am so sorry for taking so long but RL has been crazy. I appreciate all the reviews, story alerts, and fav stories alerts. I love writing this story. I am anticipating approximately 4-5 more chapters. As always I would love to hear what you have to say in a review…**

**The wonderful Stephenie Meyers owns the characters. I just love to play around with them.. wouldn't you love to play around with Robert Pattinson..hmmmm**

Chapter 16

When I woke up later I had a bad headache and I decided to take a shower to see if it got better. Alice and Rose were watching Lilly today and I felt so bad but wasn't in shape to care for her right now.

Edward was waiting for me when I got out of the bathroom,

"Hey baby how are you feeling?"

"I am alright I guess but I have a headache. I think I need some food and to see our parents to talk about some things."

I sat on the bed and asked his opinion.

"Bella, I know what she put you through with never contacting you or telling you she cares. It's hard to not forgive her because of her illness but she should of still contacted you. Sometimes her condition is hard to diagnose but some doctors should have tried harder. If you truly want to move on you will not be able to continue holdings all your feelings inside. You would either need to forgive her and have her in your life or not forgive her but tell her everything that you are holding inside of you so you can feel free and move on. I know you told her some stuff today nut you need to tell her more. Do you want her in your life again?"

"I just don't know Edward because a part of me wants to get to know her and start over and the other part of me is so mad at her that I feel like hitting something. I am just so confused right now. I need to hear our parent's opinion and that includes Sue's. If it wasn't for Sue I would have never went to that brunch and we wouldn't be together right now."

"Anything you want baby, I will call them."

I finished getting ready and Edward came in and started kissing my neck and shoulders and I just melted. I turned around to face him and kissed him. He held onto me while still kissing me and walked me back to the bed. He bent down and picked me up and laid me on the bed.

"I called my mom and she said that Sue and her have been cooking and baking this afternoon thinking we would come over later. We have 1 ½ hours to be there and I am thinking of a way to spend that time with you."

I giggled and then continued touching him.

"I need you Edward and I just need to feel your love and how much you want me."

As soon as he said that our clothes were off and he was inside of me filling me up. I have never felt so wanted and complete in my whole life. I just started to tear up as we came together. He just held me afterwards and let me cry.

"Edward, earlier you sang me a lullaby and I never heard it before. What is the name of it?"

He looked down and said quietly, "Bella's Lullaby"

"I didn't hear you?"

"I call it "Bella's Lullaby."

I must have looked confused because he laughed.

"I haven't had a lot of time lately but I do play the piano and have written some music but nothing for a while. Lately this tune has been in my head and I wrote it for you."

"OMG Edward that is so amazing. I do remember you playing when we were in school when I came over to see Alice. Will you play for me sometime?"

"I would love to play for you but we need to get going now."

We went over to Esme and Carlisle's house and had a nice talk with my dad and Sue. It took my dad some time but he finally did forgive Renee for what she did. Sue said that everyone deserves a second chance but I need to do what is right in my heart. Esme and Carlisle couldn't understand how she couldn't contact me during that time but Carlisle did bring up the fact that she probably wasn't in the right frame of mind. They also agreed with Sue that everyone deserves a second chance.

I was thinking about what they said and realized that when I came back from Phoenix that Dad, Sue, Esme, Carlisle, Edward and everyone else didn't have to give me a second chance but they did. I just don't know what would of happened if they didn't.

Edward then decided to play the piano for everyone and I saw Esme crying. I went over to her and sat down and we hugged.

"I haven't heard him play since before he left for school. He knew deep down in his heart he must have done something wrong to make you go away. He saw you looking at him at the party and he avoided you because he was always afraid of rejection. He was so hard on himself after that party and nothing we said convinced him otherwise. He never had a desire to play since then. Bella Swan you have turned his life around for the better and you complete him. My dear Bella, for that I am eternally grateful to you. I will give you anything and everything I can and it still wouldn't be enough to pay back for what you have done for Edward."

We were both crying and hugging now and Edward was looking at us while he was playing. I gave him a smile and he sighed, smiled and continued playing.

"Esme, do you have any idea on what Edward has done for me. He has made me feel again and he makes me feel wanted like I am somebody. I feel complete with him so there is no payback needed."

We both sat there listening to the beautiful music he was playing and were at peace.

The next day Edward and I went to the hotel to see Renee and Phil for lunch. We ate at the hotel's restaurant and the food was pretty good. We made some small talk and then we went up to their room to talk.

Edward held my hand throughout the lunch and as we were walking to their room. We all sat down and waited to see who was going to speak first.

"Bella, I just want you to know that I am truly sorry for what I did and I never meant to ruin your life. I truly felt that when I left it would be better for you. I was having some pretty rough days at that point and never wanted you to see me like that. I was scared to go to Carlisle because I didn't want it to be this big medical thing and be a burden to you or your dad. I should of contacted Charlie to explain but I was scared and didn't have any answers myself. Is there any way you could forgive me?"

"First off, I am calling you Renee because I am not sure about the "mom thing!

Second, I don't know if I can forgive you yet. I felt so unwanted by my mother for such a long time. I feared relationships and felt so unworthy of them that I avoided boys in school. It wasn't like they were breaking down the door for ole plain Bella but it could have been different. Maybe I wouldn't have felt so inferior at the graduation party but that's in the past so I can't go back there. I understand you were confused about what was happening to you but I needed a mom. Esme tried to help me the best she could but it wasn't the same. I am willing to forgive in time because if I don't then I didn't deserve all the forgiveness I got when I came back after having Lilly, my daughter. I don't know how fast it will be but I will try."

"That's all I ask Bella is for to try and be in my life again. Maybe one day I could meet my granddaughter?"

"Maybe before you leave for Florida you can meet her but that is totally my decision. I have a picture of her in my Iphone."

I got up to show her and Phil a picture and she gasped.

"She is so precious, what is her name?"

"Lilly Renee Swan but eventually will be Lilly Renee Cullen."

"Bella?"

"Listen I know I gave her your name but when I had her I felt this void in me that I should be sharing this with my mom. The only way I knew how to do that was to give her your name. I used it for her middle name because I didn't want to be reminded of you not being here when I would have to call her name."

"How long are you here for anyway?"

"We haven't decided yet although Phil has a break from baseball right now and I am on leave for my job. We decided we would leave it up in the air and see what happens. I work for Phil's cousin that does event planning and nothing is scheduled for a while and he told me I could take my time getting this part of my life together."

"Ok well I have to take day by day and coming here today was a stretch for me. I need to be with my daughter, whom I haven't seen all weekend, and Edward. I will contact you again but I am not sure when."

"It's ok Bella, so please take your time. I am not pressuring you into anything. I really just want to get to know you and see if we can have any kind of relationship."

"We will see what happens."

Edward had excused himself for a phone call on his cell. He came back in 5 minutes and I asked him if he was ready to go.

"Sure baby I am ready to go. Renee and Phil it was great to see you again and hopefully we can get together again soon. Just give Bella some time and hopefully things will turn out."

I decided I would have some manners and went over to Renee and Phil to hug them. Renee held me a little tighter and whispered, "Thank you!"

I smiled and got up to leave with Edward.

As soon as we got out of the hotel Edward said, "Baby, I am sorry to do this to you and if you can't handle it please tell me."

I was getting really nervous on what Edward was going to say.

"Jenks called Bella and Tyler is at his office looking over the papers and he wanted to ask us some questions. Are you up to going to his office now or we can reschedule for another time."

I sighed and thought about it for a while.

"Edward if it won't take too long we can go now but after that I want to pick up Lilly and go out to eat just the three of us."

"Ok Baby we can do that and go anywhere you and Lilly want to go."

When we got to Jenks office Tyler was there reading over the papers.

"Hello Edward, Bella please come in."

We sat down and Jenks stated that Tyler had some questions for us.

"Bella I am so sorry to bring you here on a Sunday but I just want to make sure of things. I understand I am giving up my parental rights because right now my life is messed up. I want to know if it states in these papers once I get my stuff together will I have a chance to see my daughter and get to know her and explain."

"Tyler it is explained in the paperwork that down the road, if you contact Bella that you want to see Lilly, you would have to prove your improvements unless Lilly is 18 years or older. Bella has the final say and also has the right to tell Lilly about you if she desires. I am not sure how you could explain to Lilly your actions against Bella with her hating you but that is your decision at that time. Also Edward and Bella are planning a future together and Edward wants to adopt Lilly since you are signing your rights away."

"I guess that would be good so she can have a father figure to grow up with. I just want a chance down the road if things get better to get to know my daughter. I hate myself right now that I can't be a part of my daughter's life but I guess it's for the best considering our past Bella."

"Tyler what you did to me was inexcusable and if I did things the right way you probably would have been thrown in jail, so these papers here should be a piece of cake for you. I am trying to move on and I suggest you do to. Lauren is a very nice person and you better do the right thing by her and be honest. If you contact me down the road, I promise I will try to be as fair as possible. My daughter means the world to me and you will not mess up her life."

"Ok Bella, I understand how you feel and I just wanted you to know that I regret how I acted back then. I am so sorry for what I put you through."

I nodded in understanding but I couldn't say that I forgave him. I feel so numb right now from everything.

Tyler signed the papers and Jenks made us all some copies of the documents. I turned to Tyler and said,

"I know what you did was a very hard thing to do but I feel it's the right thing for Lilly right now. I hope one day I can forgive you Tyler but right now I can't. When that day comes, I will be sure to let you know."

He nodded and then left Jenks office while we talked a little bit about the adoption procedures.

Once we got to Alice and Jasper's house I was starting to get excited to see Lilly.

When Alice answered the door she asked if I was ok.

"I am Ok for now because I will be seeing my daughter."

I walked in and Lilly was playing Barbie with Rose while Emmett and Jasper were watching football. Lilly saw me and ran to me saying,

"Mommy I missed you!"

"Oh Baby I missed you too. I love you so much!"

"I love you too mommy and I am playing barbies with Alice and Rose. Mommy Emmett and jazz wouldn't play with me though." Lilly said with a sad pout.

"Oh baby that's ok because you have alice and rose. They are just being boys. Maybe one day we can get them to have a tea party with us."

"Yeah that would be so much fun! Emmett and jazz, would you have a tea party with me one day?"

'Well what do you do at this tea party?" asked Emmett

"You drink tea, silly!"

"Well I like tea so I guess it would be ok. How about you Jazz!"

"Yeah it would be ok."

Lilly was jumping up and down she was so excited. Too bad Emmett and Jasper didn't know you had to dress up and wear hats. I shook my head and Alice and Rose were laughing.

Alice, Rose and I went into the kitchen to talk because Lilly was tired and sleeping on the couch.

"How are you Bella?"

All of a sudden I started to cry. Everything just seemed so overwhelming.

"SShh Bella, it will be okay."

"I know it will be Alice, but I am so overwhelmed right now. It seems like everyone wants something from me. Edward has been so great and helpful, but seeing my mom just brought up a lot of feelings. We had lunch with them today and we came to an agreement. After we left there, we had to go to Jenks office because Tyler decided he had some questions for me. Everything is just dragging me down."

"Is there a way to get to your bathroom without Edward seeing me?"

"Sure, follow me."

I went to the bathroom and put cold water on my face. I was sitting on the toilet because I just needed some time to calm down.

Alice and Rose asked to come in, and I opened the door for them.

"Bella, we have the perfect idea. Do you think you can take a couple of days vacation days to relax?"

"I was actually thinking of calling in tomorrow and using a couple of days, why?"

"Well, Rose and I thought we could take you on a girl's day to the spa."

"Oh, wow, that sounds like a perfect idea and something I really need. Can you send Edward in here? I don't want Lilly to see me upset."

They left to go get Edward and soon I heard him knocking on the door.

"Bella."

"Edward, come here."

"What's wrong baby?"

He knelt down facing me, and touched my face with all the care I would expect from him.

"I don't know anymore, Edward and I am really feeling overwhelmed. I feel like I am expected to do certain things that people want from me. I need a break, Edward."

He looked frightened and scared. It then dawned on me he thought I needed a break from him.

"Oh, no Edward, I don't need a break from you, baby. If you left me I would be beside myself. You are the only thing keeping me sane right now."

He sighed and smiled.

"Bella, let's go home and talk more about this. Let Alice take Lilly to school in the morning and we will just go home, talk and cuddle."

"Okay, can we pick something up to eat on the way home?"

"Sure baby, anything you want."

I smiled; we got up to go tell Alice and Rose we were leaving. Lilly was still asleep so I kissed her on her forehead and said goodnight to everyone.

We stopped and got Italian food, garlic bread and cheesecake for dessert and took it home. When we got home we took everything to the table and put the cheesecake in the fridge for later.

After we ate, we cleaned up and took our wine glasses to the couch. Edward went and got our cheesecake, two plates and forks. We fed each other some cake and enjoyed the dessert.

"Now Bella, what has you so upset?"

"I am not sure Edward, it's just when we were over Alice's and I was talking with them, I just broke down. Everything I held inside of me from stressing about seeing my mom, handling Tyler today and everyone wanting to see what I will do about Renee. I feel like everyone wants something from me and I was overwhelmed. Alice and Rose want to take me for a girl's day out and a spa day, so I can relax a little bit. I was going to take a couple of days off anyway."

"I think that is a good idea. I have off on Tuesday so maybe we can do something together unless you want time to yourself."

"Let me call Alice and ask if we can do spa day tomorrow and then I will let you know after that. It's not that I don't want to spend time with you, but I also need time for myself to think about things."

"I understand Bella, go call Alice and set up tomorrow and I will go and get a bubble bath ready for you."

"Thank you Edward, I really do appreciate everything you do for me."

"I know you do, baby." He kissed me on the forehead and walked towards our bathroom.

I called Alice and she said she anticipated tomorrow as spa day and already called to make reservations. She also said that Emmett will pick up Lilly from school so we didn't have to rush back. I thanked her and headed upstairs to my bath.

When I walked into the bathroom, the lighting was coming from a bunch of candles and it seemed so romantic. I walked over to Edward and kissed him on the lips. He started to undress me and kiss me all over. Once I was naked, he held my hand and helped me in the bath.

"I will be in the bedroom right here, so call if you need anything."

I nodded and then sunk down into the water. It felt so calming and relaxing. It was just want I needed.

I thought back to today, and knew I would probably get together with Renee. I still felt betrayed by her and unwanted, but felt I needed to give her a chance. I just want to forget everything for a couple of days and relax.

"Edward, I need something."

He ran and asked," What?"

"You, now get your cute butt in here with me."

He smiled and undressed really fast. He scooted behind me and it reminded me of our weekend away in Port Angeles. That was pretty much when our relationship starting moving forward.

We just sat in the bubble bath holding each other and talking. It felt so good to just be here with him.

We got out when the water cooled off, and we dryer each other off. We got in our jammies and cuddled in bed.

We fell asleep holding each other, and we woke up the same way. Edward got up and started to get ready for work. I went to make some coffee and breakfast. He came down and kissed me 'good morning'.

"I am sorry for my breakdown yesterday, and all the drama I am bringing into your life. Are you regretting having me move in yet?"

"Bella Swan, how could you think that? I am so happy you are here; now please stop talking like this. We all have things happen in our lives. We will get through this together because we love one another."

"Edward, I know that, but lately it's been one thing after another. I am just afraid you will regret loving me because of all my drama."

"I will never regret loving you. I love you now and I will love you forever."

I hugged him tight and kissed him.

"I love you too, Edward so much. You make me feel so special, and my life is better with you in it with me."

We kissed and we started talking about our day.

"When I get done from work, I will pick up Lilly from Emmett's house and I will see you back here when you're done."

"I am sorry for being so silly, but I am scared you will leave me, and I wouldn't be able to handle that."

"I would never leave you or Lilly unless you ask me to; even then I would fight you to stay. Now go have a great Girl's day out and I will see you tonight."

He smacked my butt and went to leave.

"Love you, Edward."

"Love you, Bella."

I went to call the school and get dressed for my day out.

**Thanks for all your support and remember to hit that button and tell me how you like or not like my story. I am doing a one shot for Fandom4Sexual Assault Awareness. Please support this cause and donate!**


	17. Chapter 17

**I am so sorry it took me so long for this next chapter. I want to thank Brittney 101 for her help with this chapter. I was going a different route but she helped me decide what not to do. Thanks again**

**Chapter** 17

I had so much fun with Alice and Rose for our girl's day out. I talked with them about everything going on and they understood why I was so overwhelmed. Finally, I had to start concentrating on me and not Tyler or my mom. The Tyler situation is pretty much finished, and now I just have to figure out what I am going to do concerning Renee.

We had massages, which were wonderfully relaxing, pedicure, manicure and facials done. I felt so much better afterwards.

Of course, a girl's day out with Alice and Rose always included shopping. So we went to the mall after lunch and ended up at Victoria Secret. I knew I wanted to get something extra special for Edward for dealing with all my crap. I also ended up getting some new jeans, skirts and some tops. Lilly ended up getting some new stuff also.

I had a great day and just wanted to get back to Edward and Lilly.

When I got home and walked in the door, something was off. I knew Lilly would be asleep, but everything was dark. I saw a dozen candles lighted up and got nervous. I walked in further and saw Edward standing there with roses.

"Hey, Beautiful."

"Hey, what's going on Edward?"

We sat on the couch and he looked very nervous.

"Bella, I love you so much and when you and Lilly moved in, it made me the happiest man on earth. I want you here with me forever. I will love you and Lilly forever. Will you marry me?"

I couldn't believe I was hearing this. More than ever I wanted to marry Edward, but not now. I got so nervous that I didn't respond. I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. I was afraid that Edward wouldn't understand why I couldn't marry him now. I started crying and he looked very upset.

"Edward, I love you and want to marry you but I just can't."

"Bella, baby, what's wrong? I just want to make you happy."

I tried to calm down, but I couldn't. Everyone expects something from me. I got up and went to look at his beautiful view out back. I really wanted to run away, but I promised him I wouldn't do that anymore. I opened the French doors and went out to his deck and breathed in fresh air. How do I explain this to Edward?

I felt his arms around me from behind and I relaxed instantly. If we are going to be in a relationship together, we need to talk about things together.

I turned around to face him and I put my hands on his tear streaked face and kissed him.

"Edward, I am sorry for overreacting, but I just can't marry you now. I want to marry you more than anything, but I can't right now."

I turned back around and started to cry again. I didn't want to face Edward anymore because he probably hates me.

"Bella, come with me over here."ard know you are here? Did he do this to you?"

"No. dad I didn't tell him where I was going, I just walked out on him when he proposed."

"Bella, what were you thinking? Okay baby, stay here and I will call Edward so he can probably stop freaking out. Just relax, baby."

"Okay, Daddy. Thank you for everything."

EPOV

"Bella, wait don't leave. Please talk to me." He took my hand and he sat down in one of his deck chairs and pulled me in to his lap. I was still upset and crying, so he was rubbing my back to calm me down.

"Bella, please talk to me."

"I want to marry you someday, but right now everything is so overwhelming. I feel like everyone wants something from me and I don't have the strength for anymore."

He looked at me and I saw upset, anger and confusion in his face. I decided to get up and try to explain this to him.

"Edward. Please don't be mad at me or hate me, I am trying to explain this the best I can."

"Bella, I could never hate you and I am definitely not mad at you, just confused. Just explain to me your feelings and we will work it out."

"See, Edward, that's exactly why I don't understand why you really want me. You propose to me and put all your feelings out there and I turn around and knock them down. Then, you're so understanding, and I feel so bad for hurting you. I am too messed up for you. Maybe you need someone like Tanya, who loves you, is beautiful and isn't so messed up as me."

"No, Bella, I need you in my life and I definitely do not want Tanya. We all have some sort of baggage in our lives at one point or another."

"I am not saying that you want something from me, because you are my rock and I need you. It's just that Tyler wants me to forgive him, even though he technically raped me and should be in jail. Renee, my mom, all of a sudden comes back into my life and I am suppose to forgive her leaving me and making me feel like I am nothing. I am trying to do my best for my daughter, and sometimes feel like a failure. I know you don't want anything from me like they do, but I don't feel like I am in a good place now except for loving you. When we get engaged, I want to concentrate all my time on that and not on these other things too. I really don't know how you got stuck with falling in love with such a messed up, scared and confused woman."

He walked up to me, and lifted my head to look at him. "All I want is you, Isabella Marie Swan, and if I have to wait forever, I will. I am so sorry for upsetting you like I did. My only intention was for you to be happy, and by proposing I thought it would make you happy. I totally understand why you can't marry me now, but when I do propose next time, I am hoping for a 'yes'!"

"As long as I am in a better place with myself, then my answer will definitely be a 'yes'."

"I am so sorry baby for this tonight. I know you had a nice relaxing day, and then I had to ruin the night. I will make it up to you, I promise."

"It's okay Edward, and the night isn't over yet. Would you like to see the stuff I got from shopping, we went to 'Victoria's secret."

"As Emmett would say, Hell yeah!"

We went back in to his house and I showed him all the things I got. It was getting excited to see them all on me. I told him I wouldn't be modeling anything tonight. All I wanted to do is take a bath and cuddle with him in bed.

He pouted a little bit but said he understood. He told me he would start my bath while I took my bags upstairs.

As I was soaking in my bath, I thought about his proposal and how sweet it was. I wish I didn't have these things hanging over my head where I could enjoy being Edward's fiancé. We just moved in together and I really wanted to enjoy this with him for a little while before getting engaged. How did my life get so messed up? I was beginning to think coming back home was a great idea and everything was calming down. I just want everything to be normal for us. I got out of the bath and put my pajamas on. When I got in our bedroom, Edward was waiting for me with open arms.

Once Bella fell asleep, I just laid there and watched her sleep. She is so beautiful and I almost lost her. I really don't know what I was thinking. I need to talk to Alice about this, maybe she could help me.

I looked at my clock and it was 930pm, I figured I had time to talk to Alice.

"Hello."

"Hey, Alice, it's Edward."

"Hey, brother did you like the presents we got from the mall?"

"I didn't even see them actually. I think I messed up, Alice. "

"What did you do?"

I explained to Alice what happened and was waiting for her wrath.

"Oh, Edward I do understand why you did it, but she is just so overwhelmed right now. We had a nice day, and I thought you guys would have a nice evening."

"I know I messed that up, but Alice I was so scared I would lose her, I was crying. I don't know what to do here. Please help me understand."

"Please relax Edward, I know you set worried but she is still there, right?"

"Yes, she is sleeping."

"Give her time Edward, and just let her lead. See if she wants to enjoy tomorrow with you, go out and enjoy yourself. Maybe treat her to something. I can call her in the morning and just talk to her. Go to her and hold her and everything will be okay."

"Thanks Alice, I am sorry for getting so crazy, but she is my world."

"I know Edward. I love you!"

"Love you too, I owe you, sis!"

"I see Jimmy Choos in my future!"

"Okay, Alice, Jimmy Choos."

I went back to my Bella and held her while she slept, and it wasn't long before I fell asleep hoping tomorrow will be a better day.

BPOV

The next morning when I woke up Edward wasn't next to me. I knew I hurt his feelings, but I just couldn't say yes. I went to the bathroom and when I got out my phone was ringing.

"Hello."

"Hey, Bella. How are you this morning? How was your evening?"

I then proceeded to tell her about what happened and now I was afraid that Edward would rethink marrying me.

"Bella, you will not lose Edward at all. He thought he was doing the right thing to make you happy, so just talk to him today. Are you spending time with him today?"

"I am not sure about today, yet. I tried to explain myself last night, but maybe we will talk again today. He wasn't here next to me when I woke up, so maybe he left for the day. Alice, how can you be so sure I will not lose him?"

"He called me last night after you feel asleep, because he was afraid he was losing you. Both of you are afraid of the same thing, so you really need to talk. He feels like an idiot asking you to marry him after you have been so overwhelmed."

"Thanks Alice, I love you."

"Love you too, Bella."

I got up and went downstairs and didn't see anyone home. I knew he wouldn't want to be near me today. I saw a not on the island,

_Bella, _

_I got up and took Lilly to school so you could sleep this morning. I will bring back some bagels and coffee for breakfast._

_Love ya beautiful,_

_Edward_

Okay, so now I feel like a failure of a mother who forgot about her daughter. How could this be happening to me? I started crying and hugging myself and slid down on the floor.

Shortly after my breakdown, I heard the door open and Edward saw me and ran over.

"Bella, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

"I feel so ashamed Edward, I didn't see you when I got up this morning and thought you left and didn't want to be around me. When I read your note, I felt like the biggest loser forgetting about her own daughter. What is happening to me?"

"Oh, baby, come with me and get up. I got us some coffees and bagels to eat. Let's eat out on the balcony so we can relax and talk after we eat."

We took out everything to the balcony and started eating. I was so hungry that I think I ate 3 bagels.

"Are you feeling better this morning?"

"Besides feeling like the worst mother on earth, I am okay."

"Baby, relax, I knew you needed your sleep this morning so I got up and took Lilly to school. She asked about you this morning and I told her you weren't feeling well. She asked if you could pick her up this afternoon."

"Well that's good she doesn't hate me."

"Edward, do you understand why I said no last night. I really want you to understand what I am feeling and thinking."

"Bella, I do understand and I am so sorry for not thinking this through clearly. I am just so afraid of losing you because of what I did last night. I love you baby, and I want a forever with you. I will wait as long as you need me to, but remember I will be proposing to you again and hopefully you will say 'yes' the next time."

He reached out for my hand, and put me on his lap sideways. I looked in his eyes,

"I am so sorry from the bottom of my heart that I hurt you. All I wanted to do is make you happy. I am ecstatic you and Lilly is here with me and you definitely aren't losing me. I know everyone is asking for your forgiveness, so I will not ask for that. All I ask is that you give me another chance and now that I will love you every moment of forever. I love you, Bella Swan, and I can't live without you."

I looked at his eyes and saw tears coming down his cheeks. I wiped them away with my thumbs,

"Please don't cry Edward, I love you so much too. I do forgive you so there is no need to ask for that. You will never lose me because I can't live without you either. I am so sorry too; I should have never got upset with you because I always know you have the best intentions. Please ask me again, because I am sure I will say 'yes'."

We sat like that for a while just holding each other.

"Come on Bella, we are getting dressed and going out. I am going to buy you anything you want. Then we are going to your favorite restaurant for lunch and just enjoy ourselves."

"Okay, Edward, but I don't know what I could possibly need to buy."

"Bella, it's not something you need to buy, it's something you desire and want more than anything."

"I will have to think about that Edward, because the only thing I desire is you."

He smiled, kissed me on the forehead and said, "Later, Bella, Later."

When we got to the mall, I tried to decide what I really wanted. I decided to ask him about an idea I had over coffee.

"Edward, let's go to the café over there and get a coffee, I would like to discuss something with you."

We got our coffee and sat down in comfy chairs.

"Edward, I have an idea of something I really want, but it has to do with your house. I would like to build a room in the back over looking your beautiful view. It would be like a solarium that we could go and just relax in. I would like to set it up with all my books I have in storage, and eventually when my book club expands we can meet there instead. The kids would love the different surroundings, but if you don't want high school kids coming to your house, I won't even suggest it. Sometimes, I may need a place to escape to just to read or things about things, or just to relax. This is something I have always wanted and vowed when I owned a home to do it. We can even add a fireplace, stereo system and a flat screen TV."

"Baby, I think it's a great idea, but one thing you have to realize. My home is your home, so that makes it 'our home'. I can get my mom involved with all her contacts from her interior decorating. Also, I was thinking of taking part of the great room and making a playroom for Lilly and her toys. I still want to buy you something today, so lets' get shopping and then we can go home and make plans."

"Okay, Edward, but remember I am contributing to the cost of this addition. We also have to discuss how I am contributing to monthly bills. I still don't know what to get but let's go to some stores and maybe something will inspire me."

Just then I got a text on my phone.

**B.**

**Take advantage of Edward's generosity. Shop, shop,shop!**

**A.**

**A.**

**I don't even want to know how you figured it out but I don't know what to tell him I want. **

**B.**

**B.**

**I will be there in 20 minutes to help. Tell Edward to get his credit card ready for my jimmy choos.**

**A.**

**A.**

**Okay, Alice see you in a little while.**

**B.**

"Alice is coming to join our shopping spree to help me get something, and she mentioned something about Jimmy Choos?"

"ugh. I panicked last night and called her real late last night and promised her anything if she would help me not lose you."

"Oh, Edward, you would never would of lost me. Well, Jimmy choos are expensive so maybe you shouldn't get me anything."

"No way, Bella I am buying you something expensive and fantastic, so don't think you are getting out of it."

Alice found us cuddling in the café, and we saw her we got up and started shopping. Alice did get her Jimmy Choos shoes and I ended up getting a purple coach purse. I also got some shoes and clothes for work, and Edward bought me a beautiful tennis bracelet. Of course, we also ended up in Victoria's Secret and Edward thought he was a kid in a candy store.

I told Alice about our plans for the addition, and she thought it was a great idea.

Shortly afterwards, Alice left to go home and relax and we left to go back home. We never made it to the restaurant that Edward wanted to take me to, because we ate at the mall.

We came home and made love until it was time to get Lilly from school. We picked her up from school and took her out for pizza. When we got back home, Lilly was playing with her barbies, and Edward and I was writing down what we wanted to do with the house.

We were keeping Edward's library and office the way it was. We were taking part of the huge great room and making a play room for Lilly. The solarium was going to be great when we were all finished.

**I would love to see more reviews. I love writing this story and that is enough, but sometimes you want to know if you are doing it right. Anyway, thanks to everyone who loves my story and is reading it, even if I don't get a review from you. I will try harder to type these chapters out faster but sometimes RL gets in the way.**

**Barb**


	18. Chapter 18

**I ****can not express how sorry i am for not posting next chapter. Real life is taking a toll on me. I have had health issues and my husband's been very ill.**

**When hurricane Irene came to northeast we had to travel west to pittsburgh,pa. My husband has a lot of medical machines that need electrical power and we knew we would lose it. During that traveling, i lost my laptop that had all my chapters in the word document. So now i have to start over with the nect chapter.**

**I do apologize to all my readers and i know i lost some with the delays in updates but i am really diing the best i can. I am typing this in my nook and hooing i can get it over to my readers.**

**I am hoping to have next chapter out asap!**

**Thanks**

**Barb**


	19. Chapter 19

**Well it's finally here, the next chapter to my story. I just want to thank everyone who is sticking by me with this story and I am sooo sorry about how late this is. I lost my laptop and all my notes on story while evacuating Hurricane Irene. I am hoping it won't take me long for next chapter. As always please review and tell me how I am doing.**

Chapter 19

Charlie and Sue's wedding was coming up fast, so Esme and Alice were very busy. I helped Sue the best I could and I was getting very excited for my dad. I decided to go see him one night and make him dinner when I knew Sue wouldn't be there. Alice was watching Lilly for me since Edward had to work. I was able to go over Charlie's early to get dinner started so it would be ready when he came home.

Once he came home we sat down to eat and I wanted to convey my feelings.

"Dad, I am so happy that you found Sue, and you don't have to be alone anymore. I know you may not believe me, but I was always worrying about you. I put you through a lot of grief, but I always loved you and still do. You are and always will be a great dad."

Oh, Bells, I really love you too and I tried to be the best dad I could. I know you missed your mom all the time and I tried to help you with that. I don't really want to look at the past, all I want right now is to enjoy the present and look forward to the future for both of us. I just want you to be happy, Bells."

"I am very happy Dad. Edward and I have talked a lot about our relatonship and we know where we are headed. We want each other forever and he absolutely adores Lilly."

"How about your mom, any improvement?"

"I got her email address and I am talking to her through email for now. It is easier for me this way, and I am trying to get to know her again. I still don't know if I can forgive her, but I am trying. There is a part of me who wants to kill her for what she did to me and never forgive her, but there is a bigger part of me who wants to run to her, hug her and totally forgive her. I am so confused."

"I know how you feel but know that it will get easier."

We had a great night just spending time together and I am so glad we were able to do this before the wedding.

The wedding was so beautiful and romantic. The Cullens backyard was decorated so beautifully and I was totally please with all the work that Esme and Alice did. Lilly was so excited since this was her first wedding she was experiencing. Everyone at the reception gave her so much attention, she was just in her glory. My dad had warned me that Renee and Phil may show up at the reception after dinner was served. I was trying not to let it bother me and just enjoy the day. I wasn't ready for them to meet Lilly yet so I was hoping she wouldn't do anything.

Edward and I danced a few times and he even lifted Lilly up so we could all dance together. She was having such a great time. One time when we were all dancing together, I noticed out of the corner of my eye Renee and Phil watching us. I was giving Renee a look so she knew I didn't want her to come over and approach Lilly. Edward saw the look on my face and saw who I was staring at. The music ended and we went back to our table and I saw Renee start to move. Edward got up and walked over to Renee and spoke with her. When he came back, he just smiled at me so I knew everything was okay.

Rose came over to me and asked me to go with her to the bathroom. I kissed Edward and Lilly and told them I would be back shortly. On our way to the bathroom Renee stopped me,

"Bella. I am sorry if you are upset that I am here. I just wanted a glimpse of my granddaughter."

"I am ready to introduce you to her yet, Renee. I am still struggling with my feelings with everything. You should be here for Dad and Sue, not my family."

"I am here for them Bella, but its been a couple of weeks and all I get from you is emails. I know this is hard for you, but I need to see you."

"**YOU NEED! **Why is this all of a sudden about you. I will not discuss this at my dad's wedding."

I stormed off towards the bathroom with Rose following. Once I got to the bathroom, I cried. Rose comforted me and held me while I cried.

"Why did she have to come here. This is my dad's day and I know he invited her, but she came for the wrong reason. Why is she putting pressure on me? What am I going to do?"

"Oh Bella, it will be okay. I don't know what to say to you, but I do know all your life you hated her for leaving you and never hearing from her again. All of a sudden, she is back in your life and wants forgiveness. It's a hard decision to make, but maybe you should follow your heart instead of dwelling in the past. Do you want to move on forward from this, or do you always want it hanging over you and never being happy. Sure, you and Edward can be really happy in your relationship,but will Bella Swan be completely happy. It's hard to let go of the pain she has caused you, but you have to look at the outcome of where you will be by doing that."

Oh, Rose I feel a need to forgive her because of what I did and all of you forgave me. Mine is a little different because I did get in touch with my dad, but she never tried and that's what hurts the most."

"I know honey, I do, but right now I really have to pee."

we laughed and got up to do our business. I straightened myself up ans walked out to the reception area. It seemed like Renee and Phil left, which I was glad to see.

Edward looked a little concerned when I came back, but I smiled and he relaxed. We went home shortly after that because Lilly was so tired.

The next day Edward got a call from Phil and he explained they really were there for Charlie and didn't think they would see Lilly. He hoped the miss-communication could be cleared up.

"Edward, what am I going to do with Renee? I am so confused still and I dont want her to meet Lilly until my feelings are in check."

"I understand baby, but this is my opinion. I know she has hurt you and made you feel inferior, but you are so much stronger now. I thought you had overcome your insecurities, but maybe she is bringing them back. I think I know you enough to say that if you didn't find a way to let this go and forgive her, you would regret it later. She made a mistake baby, a big mistake but she thought she was doing the right thing for you. I see at the hospital all the time these young moms dropping off their babies because they can't take care of them, or the young moms who give birth to them who don't know what to do. Even though your mom was older she still had a medical problem and didn't know what to do."

"did she go about it the wrong way? Was there something else she could of done?

Yes to both of those questions, but she was confused and scared. What she thought was the right thing to do turned out to be the wrong thing totally. I just feel that life is too short to hold onto feelings that can be resolved. Talk to your mom and tell her exactly how you feel and see if both of you can get past ths. If you can, great and if you can't then understand that and come to some agreement with her. If you don't do this you will never be completely happy and be able to move on."

I was crying while he was saying all of this to me, and I knew he was right. I had a feeling that Edward was getting aggravated with my behavior. I had to make this right because I was not going to lose Edward over this.

"Okay, Edward. I understand and I am sorry for putting you through all of this."

Before he could say another word, I gave him a kiss on the cheek and went into our bedroom. I had to think about how I was going to do this.

"Mommy!" Lilly said coming into my room and jumping on the bed.

"I have missed you mommy."

I then realized that I have been avoiding my daughter with all that has been going on.

"I missed you too baby. I am sorry that mommy has been busy lately. I promise you I will always love you and be there for you."

"It's okay, I luv you too. Can you make me some pancakes, I hungry."

"Sure baby, let's go."

I picked up Lilly and took her downstairs. Edward looked a little upset but then saw us and smiled. It didn't seem to get all the way into his eyes though.

"Good morning, Edward."

"Good morning, Lilly."

he picked her up and gave her raspberry kisses on her belly and they were laughing. I went to the kitchen to prepare Lilly's pancakes. Edward out the TV on for Lilly and came to see me in the kitchen.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I am fine Edward. I am really sorry for putting you through all of this and obviously you have held some things you have wanted to say for a while. I understand everything you said and I agree. I will do this because I can't afford to lose you and I need to face up to this situation."

"You are never, ever going to lose me Bella, I just want you to be happy."

"I am happy being with you and Lilly, but you are right that I need to settle this. I think I will call her later to set up a time to see her. Right now, I need to spend time with my daughter whom I have been neglecting lately. She came into our room and said she missed me."

"We will spend the day together and then you can call Renee later, okay."

I nodded and kissed him to show him how sorry I really was. I finished the pancakes and we sat down and ate a lot.

We ended up playing all day with Lilly and Edward even wore a hat while having a tea party. Yeah, I definitely got a picture of that.

I called Renee later that night and we talked for a while. We made plans to get together for dinner on Thursday night. I felt a little bit better that we were going to talk.

"Edward, how is your schedule for Thursday?"

"I am working during the day til five pm."

"Would you be able to watch Lilly for me after work or will you be too tired? I made plans Renee for dinner."

"That's great baby, and no I don't mind. Maybe Lilly and I will go to her favorite pizza place."

"Bella, I wanted to ask you if it was okay if I asked my parents to come over tomorrow for dinner. I want to show my mom the plans we have, and she has a lot of contacts that could help us. Do you mind them coming tomorrow?"

"I guess it's okay if they come tomorrow, but I don't have anything to make them half decent?"

"I was just going to pick some stuff at the Chinese place and we can have a buffet."

I nodded okay and told him it was a good idea.

I was a little off the next day at school and I could tell the kids knew something was wrong.

Karen came up to me after class.

"Are you okay Miss Swan?"

"Yeah, I am okay Karen, I am just a little tired. My dad got remarried over the weekend and it's been busy. Thanks for asking, though."

"It's okay, you just didn't seem your happy self."

""Thanks for caring, Karen and I promise you I will be back to my happy self soon."

"Okay. Have a good night Ms. Swam."

"You too Karen."

When I got home I straightened up a bit and decided to make a cake for dessert. Lilly was so excited to help me. Carlisle and Esme had got here about 5 minutes after Edward came home with the food. We out everything down on the table and we all sat down to eat. Lilly was excited they were over and Esme promised Lilly she would get her ready for bed tonight.

After we had dessert and Esme came back from putting Lilly to bed, we talked about our plans. I explained to them I wanted to make a small room on back of house overlooking the beautiful view. I want it to be sort of a solarium where Edward or I or even both of us could go to relax. I eventually would like to bring my book club students here to spend more time discussing our books.

"Oh my I think that is a wonderful idea. I know you told me that you are getting more kids to join and I think its wonderful that kids nowadays have other options beside video games."

"I also feel like I don't have my own place here that I could call my own. Edward, do not get upset but everything here is yours and thats how it should be since this is your house. I need to feel like Lilly and I belong here too and I don't want to mess up your things. I want to be able to contribute to things in this house if it's going to be ours. I want to be able to put my books and pictures up somewhere and I don't know where else to put them."

"Oh baby, why didn't you tell me you felt this way sooner and we could of made room for anything of yours. I want you and Lilly to feel comfortable here and feel this is your home too."

"I don't know, it just never came up in a conversation. Anyway, I want some of your stuff in this room as well so it would be a little of both of us. Since you want to make part of the great room for Lilly as a playroom, you could move some stuff from there."

"Yes, I could do that, but I also don't want your stuff jut in that room. I want it spread all over the house so every room is a combination of both of us."

I nodded in agreement.

Esme was getting excited, "Oh, Bella, I have so many great ideas and if you let me help, we can get this up by the holidays. I know a lot of people looking for work right now that could definitely help."

"Of course we want your help and I would love to listen to all your ideas."

"Give me a couple of days to get some ideas together and we will talk about everything. After we finalize everything we want to do I can call my contacts and get everything setup."

"That would be great but just so you know I intend on paying for this or at least part of it."

"Bella."

"Edward either I contribute to this or its a no go. I know you want to do this for me after our discussions but you need to let me contribute to things. Lilly and I are not freeloaders, so I intend to pay for more bills around here."

"Okay, Bella, I understand and we will discuss it once we see how much everything costs. Also, when the bills come in we will sit down together and see what we can figure out. I love you baby so much."

"Thank you for understanding and I love you very much also."

Carlisle and Esme left shortly afterward with Esme promising to call me soon.

The next couple of days went by and before I knew it, it was Thursday. I was suppose to meet Renee at 6pm tonight. To say I was nervous was an understatement but I knew we needed to have this talk.

When Edward came home we sat on the couch for a little bit and discussed some plans for the room. At %;40 pm I decided to leave so I wouldn't be late. I was meeting Renee at a Italian Restaurant near their hotel and then we would go back to her room if we needed to.

I met her at the restaurant and once I saw her I got very nervous but knew I had to do this. I smiled as I got closer to her and we hugged 'hello'.

"I am glad we are doing this Bella. I am sorry if I upset you at Charlie and Sue's wedding. I had no intentions on talking to Lilly, I just wanted to give my congratulations to Charlie and Sue and see Lilly from afar."

"I know I overreacted Renee, but I was scared. I am sorry too."

"Why do you call me Renee and not Mom?"

"I am sorry but I don't feel comfortable calling you Mom yet."

"Okay, I guess I have to earn that. Let's order and get some wine and we will talk some more."

We both placed our orders and she ordered some wine. I knew I needed at least 1 glass to relax.

"What happened to make you want to leave me?"

"Wow, that is a loaded question. When I had you Bella, you were the light of my world. When you got a little older, I was beginning to not feel so good. I would be fine one day, and the next day I would be frustrated and angry. I knew something was wrong, but I was afraid. I wasn't happy in Forks and knew I couldn't stay there long but I couldn't bring myself to leave you or Charlie. One day we went for a walk and you fell asleep in my arms. As I was staring at you, I was trying to think of a way to make everything all better. This woman stopped to talk to me and noticed the confusion on my face. She knew something was bothering me and she offered an ear if I wanted to talk. I told her everything on how I was feeling and felt so afraid. She just sat there and listened to me and told me she was visiting relatives and if I ever was in Phoenix to look her up. She wished me luck with whatever I tried to do. I was so confused as the days worn on and I was medically not feeling good. My anger and feelings were getting worse and I didn't want to end up hurting you. I had snapped at you a couple of times and made you cry. I knew if I told your dad, he would want me to see Carlisle and then everyone would know how crazy I was. I thought it I could start over somewhere and get myself better, maybe find something I loved to do then I could come back to you and Charlie a better person. You know the rest of the story so I won't bore you with it. I only left Bella because I was afraid of hurting you, and I needed to get my feelings in check and protect you from me.


	20. Chapter 20

_**I am so sorry about how long it is taking me to come out with this next chapter. I am not sure if this will be the last chapter or I will do more but a lot of things are settled. Here is a little tease on some of the next chapter and I hope I can get the whole chapter out real soon. **_

_**I love all you guys and I appreciate you sticking with me. Again I also love reviews so let me know how I am doing. So much has been happening in my personal life and not too much for the good. Depressing things that make me just want to read happy romantic twilight fanfiction instead of writing but I promised all of you I would stick with it. I hope you love it.**_

"God, I don't know, all I know is that I am so blissfully happy with you. I never thought I would be here with you when I decided to come back to forks. It was the best decision of my life even though I had to deal with Tyler."

"I am so glad you came back too, I have waited for you for too long. You and Lilly are my life now."

We held each other falling asleep as if we would never want to let go. I slept so peacefully until I felt bouncing on the bed. I opened my eyes and saw my wonderful daughter bouncing on our bed. I couldn't do anything because I knew I was naked under the sheets.

"Okay miss monkey jumping on the bed, let's give mommy some time to wake up. Let's go downstairs and make breakfast."

I noticed when Edward got out of bed he had pajama pants on and I wondered when he did that. As they were walking out, Edward turned his head and winked at me. I shook my head at my sexy fuckhot boyfriend of mine, who I can't wait until he is my fiance. Stupid Bella you should have said yes before.

EPOV

"Okay, Lilly what are we going to make for breakfast?"

"Pancakes daddy!"

The first time Lilly decided she wanted to call me daddy really surprised me. She loves saying it and realizes legally I am not her dad yet, but she feels I am.

"Daddy, are we still giving mommy present at Thanksgiving?"

"Shh, it's a surprise remember Lilly. Yes, we are still giving mommy a present at Thanksgiving."

"I am so excited for that day to come. Mommy needs nice surprises, she was so sad when we were at Phoenix."

"I know sweetie, I want to make Mommy happy, and I just thought it would be nice for us to surprise her together."

"Okay."

We worked together to make pancakes for when Bella came downstairs.

When we were done, I saw Bella come downstairs and she looked so beautiful. I can't wait until she is my wife.


	21. Chapter 21

CHAPTER 20

Ever since Renee and I had dinner, I was coming to a understanding of why she did what she did. I still didn't totally forgive her,but I was getting there slowly. I still had to talk to Edward about Lilly meeting her as her grandmother and how to deal with that situation. Phil and Renee were staying through the holidays and then they had to go back.

Thanksgiving was one week away and I was having everyone over here for the first time. Our solarium will be finished in a couple of days and I can't wait to be able to share it with Edward. Esme and Edward are busy getting everything for the room and it should be great when it's finished.

I saw Lauren not too long ago at the hospital when I was visiting Edward for lunch. She had confessed to me that Tyler had told her the whole story about our past years ago. She was appalled at his actions and almost broke up with him, but decided to give him a second chance. He is sort of on probation with her and I am sure she will take advantage as much as she can. I sort of feel sorry for Tyler on what she has planned, but then again no I don't feel bad for him. He deserves everything that Lauren is going to dish out. Maybe he will totally realize what he has done to Lilly and me. Maybe one day I can forgive him, but right now, not going to happen. All I want to do is concentrate on my life with Edward.

I was in the kitchen making dinner and waiting for Edward to come home. Lilly was playing with her Barbies for now. I heard the door open and keys thrown on table and knew Edward was home. He came right into the kitchen and gave me a kiss on my neck.

"I love coming home and seeing you in the kitchen. Every time I leave the hospital I have a big smile on my face knowing you and Lilly are here home waiting for me. It's the best feeling in the world to me."

"We love being here too in your home."

"Correction Bella, in our home."

"Our home."

I heard little pattered feet coming towards us.

"Edward, you are home."

I saw Edward turn around with a wicked grin on his face. He slowly turned around and looked at Lilly. Lilly's eyes got really big as Edward said,

"HMMM the tickle monster is here for Lilly Swan."

Before I knew it Lilly was running away from Edward and he was chasing her. I really couldn't holler at Lilly for running in the house with Edward chasing her. Maybe I should punish him later.. Hmm,interesting idea.

We all sat down to eat dinner and as usual, Lilly was talking a mile a minute. She was telling Edward all about school and how she couldn't wait for next Tuesday when she will be out of school. She wouldn't have to go back til after Thanksgiving. I saw a little wink between her and Edward and dismissed it.

As we were cleaning up, Lilly was watching Dora again and I saw her drifting to dreamland.

"Bella, I will go put Lilly to bed. You just relax and I will be back shortly."

"Thanks Edward."

I was sitting on the couch watching Revenge when Edward came back down.

"Hey."

"I missed you today, Bella. I was thinking about you all day and couldn't wait to get home."

I moved closer to him on the couch and said, "I missed you too."

"I can't wait until we can do this in our new room with the fireplace and all."

"Hmm, I totally agree."

"Edward, I need to discuss something with you about Lilly. You are going to adopt her soon and you need to be involved in the decisions. My mom wants to meet Lilly officially as her grandmother. What do you think?"

When I looked up at him I saw some tears in his eyes that surprised me, but then that big crooked smile appeared and I knew he was happy that I was including him.

"Bella, it means the world to me that you are including me in decisions about Lilly. Jenks told me the other day that the paperwork is almost finished. I think it's time that we explained things to Lilly about your mom and let them meet. They are only going to be here through the holidays and they need sometime together. "

"I was thinking the same thing, but I really needed your opinion. I feel like I have taken too long to get to this point and I am cutting Lilly's time with her grandmother ."

"Bella, you needed this time to come to grips with everything. I am so glad you are calling her Mom now. Why don't we explain things to Lilly after breakfast tomorrow and then invite Phil and Renee over for dinner?"

"That's a good idea Dr Cullen. Now, what I need from my doctor right now is for him to kiss me."

I was crawling onto his lap as I was saying that. He didn't wait that long before he grabbed my face and started kissing me passionately. All of a sudden he stood up and I had my legs wrapped around his waist and we went up to our room.

Once we got up to our room, he put my feet down on the floor and we started taking each others clothes off. When he saw my sexy, red lace bra and pantie set, his eyes grew wide.

"So, Miss swan were you dressing for someone particular this morning?"

"Only you Edward, hoping we would be able to have some fun tonight."

He then looked really sad saying, "Bella, I know I have been very busy lately and we haven't had a lot of time for each other, but I promise to make it up to you."

"Its okay, Edward, we both has been busy. Let's just concentrate on us right now."

He was hovering over me and we were touching each other everywhere we could reach. He was licking and sucking my breasts as I was playing with his very prominent erection. We were moaning and groaning from the feelings we had. I never in my dreams thought I would be here with Edward when I decided to come back home. I feel so completely in love with him, and I know I could never live without him, especially now. I can't wait to break the news to him but I have to get proof first.

"Edward, I need you now."

He didn't wait as he rubbed his beautiful cock in my juices and enter into me very slowly. It feels like heaven every time he is inside of me. As we were joined together, we were looking into each other eyes and all I could see was the love he had for me. I felt tears going down my cheeks.

"Don't cry Bella, I just love you so much. I feel so blissfully complete when I am with you. I just can't explain it any better than that. I never want to let you go, ever."

"I feel the same way Edward. I never thought I would get my dreams to come true when I came back to Forks. You are everything to me, and I feel like I'm in heaven being with you."

"No going to heaven yet baby, I have so many experiences I need to experience with you yet."

As we were thrusting together I felt myself get ready to come and I saw it in Edward's face too. Before I knew it, we were coming so hard and it felt so amazing. We collapsed down together holding each other as if we were afraid to let go.

"Bella, why are you crying?"

"God, I don't know, all I know is that I am so blissfully happy with you. I never thought I would be here with you when I decided to come back to forks. It was the best decision of my life even though I had to deal with Tyler."

"I am so glad you came back too, I have waited for you for too long. You and Lilly are my life now."

We held each other falling asleep as if we would never want to let go. I slept so peacefully until I felt bouncing on the bed. I opened my eyes and saw my wonderful daughter bouncing on our bed. I couldn't do anything because I knew I was naked under the sheets.

"Okay miss monkey jumping on the bed, let's give mommy some time to wake up. Let's go downstairs and make breakfast."

I noticed when Edward got out of bed he had pajama pants on and I wondered when he did that. As they were walking out, Edward turned his head and winked at me. I shook my head at my sexy, fuckhot boyfriend of mine, who I can't wait until he is my fiance. Stupid Bella you should have said yes before.

EPOV

"Okay, Lilly what are we going to make for breakfast?"

"Pancakes daddy!"

The first time Lilly decided she wanted to call me daddy really surprised me. She loves saying it and knows I am not really her dad yet, but she feels I am.

"Daddy, are we still giving mommy present at Thanksgiving?"

"Shh, it's a surprise remember Lilly. Yes, we are still giving mommy a present at Thanksgiving."

"I am so excited for that day to come. Mommy needs nice surprises, she was so sad when we were at Phoenix."

"I know sweetie, I want to make Mommy happy, and I just thought it would be nice for us to surprise her together."

"Okay."

We worked together to make pancakes for when Bella came downstairs.

When we were done, I saw Bella come downstairs and she looked so beautiful. I can't wait until she is my wife.

BPOV

I finished showering and I could hear them talking and making breakfast. I was so lucky I have Edward in my life, not just for me but for Lilly too.

I went downstairs and they had made pancakes, probably at Lilly's request. I sat down and they brought the food to the table.

"Wow, this is a treat from my two favorite people in the whole world."

Lilly giggled and Edward smiled. We all ate our breakfast and I was getting nervous about our talk with Lilly. Edward sensed my nervousness and looked at me and smiled. After we finished eating we cleaned up and Lilly was watching her cartoons.

"Lilly, Edward and I have something to talk to you about,so we are going to turn the TV off for now."

"Daddy."

"What?"

"You said Edward, but he is my daddy."

I smiled and said, "That's right baby, sorry about that."

We all sat on the couch and Edward took Lilly and sat her on his lap. I turned my body so I was facing them and brought my knees up so I could hug them.

"Well, you remember when we talked about my mommy and how she made me sad when I was little."

Lilly nodded so I guess I could find the strength to continue.

"When I was little, my mom left me and grandpa Charlie. We really didn't know why, because she wouldn't contact us. She recently found us and spoke with grandpa Charlie about visiting. She explained that when she left she had intentions on coming back but she was very sick. It took her a long time to get better and then she needed to deal with the guilt over leaving me. At first I was really mad at her and didn't even want to talk with her. I know in my heart that wasn't the right thing to do because we should always give people a chance to explain. We are becoming very close again and I would love you to meet your grandmother and her husband Phil."

"Did grandpa Charlie and her get a divorce?"

"How do you know about divorces?"

"Some kids in school talk about their parents divorces."

"Oh I see, well yes they did. Grandpa has Sue now."

"Yeah, I know. She is great and wuvs him."

We laughed and giggled.

"So, do you mind if they come over for dinner tonight?"

"Yeah, they can come and I can show them my room."

"Is it clean?"

She lowered her head.

"I guess you need to clean it up before tonight then."

"Okay, Mommy."

She got up off Edward's lap and went to go upstairs and stopped.

"Mommy, will you ever leave me?"

"No Lilly never. Come see me, baby."

She climbed in my lap and looked at me.

"Baby, I will never, ever leave you and daddy. You are my world and I can't live without either of you. You never have to worry about that, okay."

She nodded and hugged me and I felt tears falling.

"I love you Lilly Swan."

"Love you too mommy."

She got off my lap and went up the stairs to her room. I felt Edward pull me on his lap and I just cried.

After the heavy talk we just decided to lay around for the day. I had some grading to do and Edward had some research to look up on an upcoming surgery.

"Edward."

"Hmm."

"Would you be able to have time to run to the bakery for dessert for tonight?"

"Sure, I am finishing up here. I'll go and get Lilly, and we will go together. It will give you some time to get a bath before our company."

"That sounds like a good idea. Thank you so much, I don't know what I did without you."

He kissed me for a bit and then left to get Lilly ready. I went upstairs to start my bath and when I just got in, there was a knock on the door.

"Baby."

"Yes Edward."

"I was thinking maybe I should just run down to Italian place and get a pan of their lasagna and a big container of salad. We can heat it up later before they get here. I will pick up some rolls at bakery also."

"Oh Edward that's sounds great. Thanks baby for making this as easy on me as possible."

"I love you Bella, more than anything."

"Love you too."

He left and I finished relaxing in my bath. I just hope everything went well tonight.

I finished with my bath and got dressed for tonight. I still had some things to finish up in the house. I checked Lilly's room and she did a decent job, I just had to fix her bed a little.

When I got downstairs I cleaned up my school stuff and little things hanging around. I made a cup of coffee from our new keurig machine. I decided to cut up some vegetables and make ranch dip for us to munch on.

I heard the door open and Lilly and Edward coming in. Edward brought everything in kitchen.

"Hey, babe, feel better."

"Much thank you."

"Well, the restaurant warmed the pan of lasagna so we just have to keep warm in oven. They should be here soon anyway."

The doorbell rang and Edward went to get it. They were talking as they were coming in to living room. I put the veggie tray on table and Lilly was clinging to my leg.

My mom came over to give me a hug and whispered 'thank you' in my ear.

"Mom, I want you to meet Lilly, Lilly this is your grandma Renee."

My mom crouched down to Lilly and said,

"It is such a pleasure to meet you, I have waited a long time for this."

Lilly smiled but still clung to me.

"Hi"

"Are u really my grandma Renee?"

"Yes I am."

"You made my mommy sad. I don't like it when she is sad."

" Lilly that's not nice," said Bella

"Sorry mommy."

"Bella its okay. Lilly is right I did make you sad, but Lilly I am so sorry about that. I promise to never ever do that again."

"Pinky promise", Lilly said putting our her pinky.

My mom smiled and put out her pinky and linked it with Lilly.

"Pinky promise."

They then hugged and laughed and everything was good in Lilly's world. She then proceeded to take my mom and Phil's hand and dragged them upstairs to her room talking a mile a minute.

I looked at Edward and smiled.

"That went good."

He came over to me and hugged me.

The rest of the evening went great. Lilly was stumped on what to call Phil. She decided on Gramps Phil.

I'm not sure how pleased he was.

The guys doing the room was coming back Sunday so we couldn't do anything. Renee and Phil wanted to take Lilly out for the day. That gave Edward and I some quiet time.

I was writing down my menu for Thanksgiving and Esme was coming over later to see what she could help with.

As we were discussing the menu, the guys told us they were all done. The room looked great. They put up all our bookcases, flat screen led TV was up on wall. All furniture was put where we wanted it. I hugged Esme. And Edward and told them it was just what I wanted.

"Baby what's wrong." I must have been crying.

"Nothing Edward, everything in my life is perfect right now."

My Dr appt tomorrow would clarify some things for me hopefully.

Edward took Lilly to school the next day so I could make my appt. I told Edward it was just a routine checkup.

After my Dr appt I went into work. The kids were rambunctious due to the holiday coming up. Tomorrow was last day before Thanksgiving mini vacation. We talked about the book we were reading and had a good discussion. I told them over their holiday I wanted them to write a short essay on which character they admire the most. I told them it needs to be more than a couple of paragraphs and in depth.

Rose was picking up Lilly so I could go to grocery store. I wanted to get started on some prepping.

I started making pies on Tuesday night when Esme came over to help. I wanted so much to tell her but I couldn't til I told Edward. I was going to surprise him at Thanksgiving dinner.

Before I knew it, Thanksgiving was here. I have been so busy prepping for the holiday dinner, I didn't get to enjoy our new room. The guys were watching the games in there today.

Edward and Lilly was acting strange. He seemed very nervous and I didn't have time to figure it out. I had enough nervous energy on my own.

Renee and Lilly were really hitting it off and I was really glad for that. My mom and I were getting closer too and I felt more loved and complete.

We put down all the food on table while everyone was gathering around.

Carlisle got up with his glass of wine,

"I am so happy this year because not only for we have the whole family here, we also have extended family here also. Renee,Phil,Charlie,Sue and especially Bella and Lilly,who have brought back the life in my son's eyes. We are forever grateful for that. I wish to toast everyone at this table a long and healthy life forever. We have a tradition of going around table and saying what we are thankful for and I guess my speech is what I am thankful for."

We proceeded around the table with everyone doing the same thing. When it was Lilly's turn she said

"I am thankful my mommy not sad anymore and that I love her and Edward lots."

Edward and I just looked at each other with tears in our eyes. Now Edward turn.

"Bella you are my lifesaver. I am so glad you came into my life. I love you so much and I want to love you forever and ever."

He winked at Lilly and she got up and went next to him.

"Lilly and I have a surprise for you."

Edward went in his pocket and brought out a square box

Then they said together

"We love you, will you marry us."

I was so stunned that they did this together and I heard everyone gasp in the background.

"Yes Edward and Lilly I would love to marry you."

"Mommy silly you marry Edward not me."

I hugged them both and Edward was so happy he picked me up and swung me around.

When he put me down I told him I had a surprise for him too.

I picked up the gift bag I had by my chair and handed it to Edward.

When he lifted his gift out, it was a onesie that had 'I love my daddy' on it. He looked at me and I nodded and he picked me up again and swung me around.

"Edward I know you are very happy but I may get sick with all this swinging." He put me down right away and kissed me with everything he had.

"I love you so much, future Mrs Cullen."

I love you too my fiancée.

Everyone clapped and we sat down to eat happy as anything.

Of course Emmett was just excited we were finally eating.

When I decided to come home for good I never in my life thought I would find my happily ever after. Edward is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I can't wait to live with him forever.

**Okay guys there you have it. I am not sure if I am going to end it there or do an epilogue. What does everyone want. Did I do it justice and cover everything. My husband is currently very ill in the hospital so it maybe a while before I do the epi. **

**Thanks for all your support!**

**Barb**

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	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 21

**I have been getting a lot of alerts with people enjoying my story. If anyone is recing my story I love you for it. I thought this would be the last chapter but too many things were going on so they will be 1 or 2 more chapters. Please keep on recing my story and getting new readers and hopefully more reviews. This was a new experience for me and I know it took a while but my personal life had a lot of downs lately. I will explain more after the story below. Thanks for everyone's support.**

After everyone had left, we sat down and cuddled in our new room. Lilly was fast asleep and I was admiring my engagement ring. I really didn't get to look at it before real close. It is a princess cut diamond with small blue sapphires on the side. I didn't want to think what Edward paid for it, but I loved it.

It was already 2 weeks later, and we were going to see the Dr for the first time together. We were going to discuss several things and figure out the due date until it can be confirmed by ultrasound. . Edward was going to meet me there since it was at the hospital. He was so happy when he left this morning. I told the principal our news after Thanksgiving vacation and he was thrilled for me. I told him I would need some time off to go to Dr appts and he hired a substitute for when I couldn't be in class.

I parked my car and there was Edward waiting for me. He pulled me into a big hug and we walked into the hospital together. We were in the waiting room when they called us back to the exam room.

"Well hello Bella and Edward, lets see what we have here."

I had explained to her when my last menstrual period was and she was calculating when the due date should be.

"Looks like you are about 6 weeks along. Your due date should be around 7/22/12."  
I looked at Edward and he had such a big smile on his face and he kissed me passionately.

"You have made me the happiest man alive Bella. "  
"Well Edward you had a little something to do with it."

We all laughed and the Dr went into my healthy eating and taking prenatal vitamins. I needed to make an appt for next month and if I had any problems to call her sooner.

I wish Edward didn't have to go back to work so I could take me home and show him how much I adore him, but unfortunately we both had to go back to work. We kissed and hugged each other before we separated and went our different ways.

Alice and Rose was calling me constantly asking about our wedding date. Edward and I didn't even have a chance to discuss it or what kind of wedding we wanted. Now that we knew when the baby was being born we had to decided if to get married before the baby or after and when. We would definitely have to discuss that tonight.

When I got home I was so tired. Lilly was watching her cartoons and I decided to lay on the couch for a few minutes. I woke up when I heard Lilly yelling "Daddy, your home."

I felt a little disorientated when I sat up and felt sick to my stomach. I ran to the bathroom quickly and closed the door. I emptied my stomach and felt someone holding my hair.

"Edward, you can't see me like this?"

He laughed and said, "Please Bella, don't tell me I can't see my future wife when she is sick. You look beautiful in any fashion."

I huffed and shook my head. I got up to get some mouthwash to rinse my mouth. I felt Edward kissing my neck and asking, "are you feeling okay?"

"I don't know, it was weird when I sat up I felt very disorientated. Maybe I got up too quickly. I am sorry I didn't get anything started for dinner. I only wanted to lay down for a little while."

"Bella, it's fine, you are pregnant with our child and you are going to be more tired."

Edward ordered some Pizza, bread sticks and a salad for dinner. Once Lilly was settled in bed, I approached the discussion of our wedding.

"Edward, we really have to think about what we want to do about our wedding. We need to pick a date either before the baby comes or after."

"Bella, what is your thoughts on that. You are the one who is pregnant and I don't want to make anything uncomfortable for you."

"Well, I really would like to get married before the baby, but I also don't want a lot of people talking about me on why we are getting married. This is a small town and people gossip. My main concern is for my baby daughter or son knowing that he or she is very loved by his married parents. I never want anyone to tease our children about not belonging."

"Well why don't we announce our engagement right away, and then people won't think that we are getting married because you are pregnant. I really don't care what people think, but it would be less chance of it this way. We can even plan a little party so the the Forks society can deal with it. My mom and Alice won't have any problems with that."

"That might be a good idea about announcing our engagement, but I am not sure about the party. You know I don't like a lot of attention on me."

"Oh, baby it will be alright, I will be there with you." he said nuzzling my neck.

"Okay, but you don't play fair. Getting back to the date and the wedding. Alice and Rose are bugging me for information."

"I totally agree on what you said before about making our children feel loved. I want to adopt Lilly and have a ceremony at our wedding so she feels a part of everything."

"Oh god Edward, that is so very special and amazing of you. I have been thinking of something I really want to do. I was thinking of having a destination wedding that Alice, Rose and your mom can plan. I am sure my mom would want to be involved in some way also. I was thinking of having it at Marco Island in Florida. I saw pictures on the internet and it's really beautiful there. We can have a small honeymoon there after wards and maybe someone from our family can stay with Lilly in Orlando. It's only a few hours flight or can even drive but it's about a 4 hour drive. Then after wards we can join them in Orlando and take Lilly to Disneyland."

"Bella, that is a wonderful idea, I really love it. The only problem is Lilly missing school though."

"She is only in Kindergarten and I can talk to her teacher about schoolwork. I have several ideas on when also. I originally wanted a Valentine's day wedding but that really is cliche and overly done. I don't want to really wait too long. Lilly has Easter vacation beginning of April and I thought we could get married end of march and then do Disneyland Easter week. It will probably be crowded though but this way she won't miss too much schoolwork."

"The end of March you will be 5 months along and probably not showing much. We can check with the doctor on how much you will be showing if that will bother you but I really like this plan."

"All I want is to marry you and if I am showing then everyone can see our love. I am tired of letting things affect me. I ran away when I was pregnant with Lilly and I refuse to let anyone make me afraid now."

"Okay I think that is settled for now and we can all talk about it at brunch this weekend. Now I would like to take my beautiful, sexy fiance to bed so she can get her rest and I can show her my love."

"I have nothing against you showing me some love but my stomach still a little upset so I have to nix any sex tonight. I am sorry Edward."

"I don't need to have sex for me to show you any love. Kissing and cuddling is awesome also. Never be upset or apologize to me for not feeling up to sex. I love you Bella Swan and I am so amazed you are carrying my child and we are getting married."

"I love you too Edward so much and can't wait to be Mrs. Bella Cullen."

He then scooped me and carried me up the stairs.

The next couple of days I did a lot of resting after work. Friday I still wasn't feeling too good so I called in sick and slept some more. I called the doctor and she said it was normal to feel tired in the beginning. After I laid around for most of the day, I decided to make something nice for dinner. Esme was picking up Lilly from school so I didn't have to worry about it. I decided to make lasagna for dinner and an apple pie for dessert.

When Lilly got home she ran to the kitchen to see me.

"Mommy, you feeling okay?"

"Yeah, baby I am fine now."

She gave me a hug and went to the living room to watch her cartoons. Esme helped me get her a snack and took it to her. She has her own little table out there so she was comfy.

"Bella, sweetie you really okay?"

"Yeah, Esme I am fine. Its just been a rough couple of days."

"It's been a while but I can understand, just let me know if you need anything. I am more than happy to help you."

"Thanks Esme, I really appreciate that."

She soon left after that and I was by myself with :Lilly. We watched cartoons together for a little while. I was laying on the couch again when Edward came home.

"Hey baby, how are you?"

"I am okay, feeling better than this morning."

"Can you do me a favor and put the lasagna pan in the oven for me. It has to bake for 1 hour."

"Yummy, you made lasagna. I can't wait for dinner now."

"I was feeling energetic so I figured I would make lasagna and an apple pie."

"Now I really can't wait, I better find something to snack on while we wait."

"Edward we really need to start doing our Christmas shopping soon. I don't want to wait til the last minute and deal with vultures shopping."

"I know what you mean, maybe we can do some shopping tomorrow."

"That would be good considering I have a lot more people to buy presents for. Last year around this time, it was only Lilly, myself and Angela. Speaking of Angela have Ben said anything to you about her. She has been very vague with me about their relationship."

"To tell you the truth, no he hasn't. I do know that she will be visiting for the holidays and she has a surprise for Ben and its driving him nuts."

"Hmm, I think it almost time for another phone call to the mysterious lady Angela."

"You are so silly and funny Bella, I love you so much."

After dinner, Edward cleaned up for me while I got Lilly ready for bed. After we read some stories and she fell asleep, I decided to call Angela.

"Hello"

"Hey, girl where have you been."

"Bella, I am so glad you called, I haven't heard from you since I saw you at your birthday."

"Well, I sent you an email to call me because I have some news for about me and I got no response."

"Sorry about that, my computer is on the blitz and I can't retrieve my emails on my sucky cell phone.

Whats going on?"

"Well Edward proposed to me on Thanksgiving day and I gave him a gift to tell him I am pregnant."

"OMG,OMG, OMG. Bella I am so happy for you." trying to say this as she was screaming.

"I knew he would propose soon and you were worried because of what happened before. I can't believe Ben didn't mention this to me."

"Ben, huh, what's going on with you two?"

"Well ever since your birthday, we have been talking and texting all the time. He is really cool, smart and sooo sexy. Bella, I think I want to move to Forks. There is no one here for me now that you and Lilly moved there and then I met Ben and I want to do this a lot. I have been in touch with Forks Elementary and Middle schools. They are reviewing my applications and I am scheduled to come for some interviews."

Okay, now my turn to scream.. "OMG Angela, I cant believe it, this is so awesome. Is this the surprise you have for Ben that Edward was talking about?"

"Yes, but you can't say a word, I want to surprise him. If Edward can keep the secret, you can tell him. My interviews are next Thursday so I am coming for the weekend. And he doesn't even know that. I miss him so much, it hurts. He has come here a couple of times on the weekend and we are both sad when he leaves."

"Oh, Angela I am so happy for you, I cant believe you will finally be here. This stupid hormones making me cry. If Edward saw me he would freak out thinking I was hurt."

"How is it going with your mom?"

"It's actually going great, we are reconnecting and she is spending time with Lilly. Actually I think I will call her tomorrow and see if she can watch Lilly. Edward and I need to do Christmas shopping. I have some many people to buy for this year. Angela, I just can't believe what my year have been like. Sometimes, its overwhelming and I think I am living a dream. Everything, is coming together and I am afraid something bad will happen."

"Nonsense Bella, you deserve everything you have and are getting. Edward is a wonderful man and you both deserve a long, healthy happy life."

"Thanks Ang."

"Call me when you get done with your interview on Thursday before you go surprise Ben."

"Okay, I will Bella."

"Bye."

After I hung up I was banging my feet on the bed I was so happy. Having Angela here in Forks will make everything complete and wonderful.

"Hey, whats going on in here?"

I got off the bed and ran to Edward and jump on him and started kissing him all over.

"Okay Bella I am really enjoying this, but what have I done to deserve this special treatment."

"If you never thought of inviting Angela to my birthday celebration, she wouldn't be thinking about moving here."

"What! Is that the surprise for Ben?"

"Oh god Edward, I wasn't suppose to tell you, please promise me you won't tell Ben. She has interviews on Thursday and is coming for the weekend to surprise him. Please don't tell him anything."

"Okay, I won't say anything. I am assuming you are ecstatic about this."

"You have no idea on how happy this makes me Edward. Everyone I love will be here in

Forks and it just makes everything so much better. I can't believe sometimes how my life is turning out."

"I am glad you are so happy, baby. That's all I ever want is to make you, Lilly and my little bean in your stomach the happiest ever."

"If you really want me to be happy right now, you will take me to bed and ravish me the way you always do."

He rushed over to the bed and laid me down and we ravished each other til we were so exhausted we had to sleep.

*****************************CH**************************************************

My mom came over the next day and watched Lilly while Edward and I did some Christmas shopping. It overwhelmed me that I actually would be with my whole family enjoying the holidays this year. I was getting a lot of gift cards for people this year but the main people I would get something to open.

By the time we got home, I was so tired I just wanted to take a nap. Edward was great watching Lilly while I napped and got dinner started. I was getting nervous about the brunch tomorrow. I didn't know how Alice, Rose and Esme were going to take our plans for the baby and our wedding. I just didn't want to disappoint anyone.

The dinner Edward made was delicious and Lilly was telling me all about her shopping trip with her grandma today. I was so glad that she got to hang out with Renee and Phil before they went back to Florida. I wish they could just move here where we all are, but I guess that's asking too much.

It was Sunday morning and we were getting up to get ready for brunch at Esme and Carlisle's place and I needed to feel Edward. I was so nervous on what they would think about our plans I felt I needed an connection with Edward before then. I was watching him sleep and couldn't believe he was here laying next to me. He is such a gorgeous, sexy man and I can't believe he is all mine. I had dreamed of this for so long and I know my thoughts go back to this all the time, but I just can't believe it is happening sometimes.

I decided to try and wake him up a different way. I went under the covers and lucky for me he was naked. His cock was standing tall and hard and saluting me. I giggled this thought as I started touching him. I took the covers off my head so I could look at his expression on his face. I put my mouth on him and I heard him groan but his eyes were still closed. As I started to get into it more and ravish his beautiful, luscious cock his eyes opened up wide and just started at me. I giggled at him while his cock was in my mouth and he arched off the bed.

"God, Bella what a way to wake up. HMM that feels so good, please don't stop."

I started going faster and faster and all of a sudden he came full force in my mouth. I licked him clean and licked my lips and then I kissed him good morning passionately.

"Hmmm so good. I love kissing you in the morning and thank you for my wake up call."

"Hmm your welcome. I couldn't resist and I needed an connection to you before we go today."

"Bella you don't need to be so nervous, they will love our plans. Anyway, they will be able to plan the engagement party."

Before I knew it he was hovering over me and had his already hard cock inside me already. He felt so good thrusting in and out of me hitting all the right spots, showering me with kisses that I needed to come so bad.

"God, Edward it feels amazing and I need to come so bad."

He reached down between us and was rubbing my clit and it was all over as I came so hard while kisses me to cover up my screams. He came right after me and then we just laid next to each other staring in each other eyes.

We got up,showered and dressed and then went to wake up Lilly. She was still sleeping soundly but we had to get her up and ready.

"Lilly, sweetie, time to get up and ready to go see Esme and Carlisle."

"Okay, mommy I up."

We had some coffee and toast and I gave Lilly some cereal to tie her over til we ate at the brunch.

When we got there everyone was there and excited to hear our news about the baby and our wedding plans. Then my angel, Edward, spoke up.

"Alice,Rose, I know you are very excited to know our plans for the wedding and when the baby is due,but we just walked through the door. Can you give Bella and I some time to breathe and we will discuss everything later."

"Sorry Bella. We are just so excited."

"I know you both are and I think it would be better if we all discussed it later when Esme can join us. I am sure she will want to be involved."

We all hugged and went to see if Esme needed any help.

The brunch was delicious as usual but I was getting a little nervous so I didn't eat that much. Edward was eyeing me all through it and just held my hand. After brunch was over and everything cleaned up, we moved to the living room. Esme had put Lilly in one of the rooms for a nap, so this was a good time for our discussion.

"Okay, so are we ready for the discussion that we all have been waiting for. Edward and I had talked about a lot of things and I would appreciate it if you let me get it all out before any questions."

Everyone nodded in agreement and I looked to Edward and he just held out for my hand and we sat down together on love seat. Edward and I decided he would talk about engagement party and I would discuss wedding and baby.

"Okay, first of all we want to announce our engagement as soon as possible. Bella, doesn't want any gossip going on that we had to get married because she was pregnant. So we figured if we announce the engagement now and down the road people find out about the pregnancy, it wouldn't be so bad. It's not that we are embarrassed or ashamed about how it worked out, but we don't want Lilly hearing any bad stuff from people and you know how things get around here in Forks. We are both ecstatic that we are getting married and having a baby close together. We can't wait to become a family totally."

"Edward, we completely understand but can we plan a party." Esme said.

"Yes mom you can plan a small party and call the papers for an announcement."

"Now I guess it's my turn. The baby is due around 7/22/12 and I want to get married before the baby arrives. What I really want to do is plan a destination wedding at Marco Island, Florida. Mom maybe you can help out with a lot of things once you get back to Florida, which I am not looking forward to you leaving.

I looked on the internet and it looks so beautiful the way they plan it. Alice and Rose, I know you want to help plan things too so I am hoping you are interested. (*note Alice and Rose jumping in their seats)

I was planning somewhere around end of march to get married, Edward and I can take a couple of days to honeymoon at Marco island and then we would travel back to Orlando to pick up Lilly and take her to Disneyland. I was hoping maybe of the the grandparents could stay at Orlando with Lilly while Edward and I enjoy a little honeymoon for us. I don't want to wait too long and look huge in my wedding dress, so I am not sure of exact dates until I talk with my doctor. In march I should be around 4-5 months pregnant. I also have to talk with Lilly's teacher to see if she will miss much that's why I wanted to plan it around Easter vacation to be in Disneyland."

Esme started talking first, "Edward, Bella, I think that is a wonderful idea and I don't think you will look huge at 5 months. We can always research it on the internet but I think it will be fine. Alice, Rose, Renee and I will join forces and plan everything. What we could do for your engagement party is coincide it with our New years eve party and announce then. Although it will be in papers before then. We first have to call the resort at Marco Island and see what they have available and go from there."

Everybody started talking about all the plans and Edward and I just sighed and looked so content. Everything will work out and now that I can relax, I am starving.

"I am so hungry now Edward."

Esme must of heard me and she looked at me.

"Bella you are hungry already this fast."

"To be honest with you, I was so nervous on how everyone would react to what we wanted to do that I couldn't eat much. I am sorry."

"Oh, Bella we would of loved anything you and Edward wanted. You didn't need to worry."

She took my hand and headed to the kitchen with me. "Sweetie, why were you so nervous?"

"I don't know Esme, I know you, Alice and Rose wanted to plan this big wedding affair and I am just not into that. I thought our idea was great and wasn't sure if you would be okay with it."

"We would be happy with anything you and Edward wanted. Alice, I know can get very controlling when it comes to planning events but she is okay with this. Anyway, we get to help the resort plan the wedding and we can do your engagement party. All is well and fine in the Cullen House."

We laughed and I ate so much food. By the time I was done everyone wanted some dessert and I was so ready for it.

During the week, I spoke with Angela several times and she was so nervous about the interview and surprising Ben. I told her I blurted out the surprise to Edward when I got off the phone and he promised he wouldn't tell him. Edward has been trying to avoid Ben this week so he doesn't blurt it out.

It was Thursday and I couldn't wait to find out about her interview. She was interviewing with the school superintendent and wasn't sure where they would put her. She is used to teaching math and algebra. I hope she teaches at the high school with me.

It was 2pm and I was on my free period and my cell phone rang.

"Hello"

"Bella, it's Angela."

"Oh my god, what happened? Did you get a job?"

"Relax, Bella, they loved me and I did get a job but they are not sure if it's at the high school or middle school yet. They have two teacher going on maternity leave on 1/15/12, one in high school and one in the middle school. I told them I prefer the high school but I will work either one. I am on my way to the hospital, is there anyway you can come with me."

"I don't have any more classes, I could ask the principal. I am walking there now, let me call you back in 5 minutes."

" Okay, hurry I can't wait to see Ben."

"Hey, Mary is the Mr. Banner in?"

"Yes sweetie, go right on in."

"Hi Mr. Banner, I was wondering if I could leave early today. It's only 1 hour earlier and I don't have anymore classes."

"Sure Bella that's fine, are you feeling okay."

"Yeah, I am great, its just an old friend is here and I thought I could spend some time with her."

"Have a good rest of the afternoon, see you tomorrow."

"Ang, where are you now, I am free to leave. I am at the superintendent office, come pick me up girly. Call Edward and ask him where they are."

"Okay, on my way, this is so exciting."

"Hello, baby."

"Hey, Edward, where are you and Ben?"

"We are both in Emergency today and we are free right now."

"Great, I am on my way to get Angela and we are coming to hospital. She got a job Edward, I am so excited."

"Cool. Be careful driving excited and I will see you when you get here."

When we got to the hospital we walked in and I didn't see Edward. I saw Lauren and went over to her.

"Hey, Lauren this is my good friend Angela from Phoenix. Is Edward and Ben around?"

"Yeah, you picked a good time, they are in the doctor's lounge. You can go on back, I think they are the only ones in there."

"Thanks."

" I am so excited to see Ben face, Ang."

"I am nervous Bella, how about if he is not happy about this."

"Oh, he will be ecstatic Angela."

We walked into the Lounge and both guys were talking and laughing about something.

"What's so funny guys?" I left Angela in hallway until I went in.

"Hey Bella just doctor talk that's all. How are you feeling?"

"I am feeling great actually and so will you in a few minutes."

I went over to give Edward a kiss and a hug.

As soon as I turned around Angela walked through the door and you should of seen Ben's face.

"Angela, what are you doing here. Oh my god I have missed you so much."

"Me too, Ben and I have a surprise for you but first, kiss me."

They kissed passionately for a few minutes and then they stopped and looked at us.

"Oh god Angela will you tell him please."

"My hormonal friend... Well Ben remember I said I had a surprise for you."

he nodded.

"Well, I am tired of missing you so much and waiting til we can have a weekend together. I contacted Forks superintendent and I had an interview for a job today. They hired me to start on 1/15/12 but I am not sure if I am working in the middle or high school but I am definitely moving to Forks."

Ben looked shocked and stunned and then he stood up, grabbed Angela and swung her around.

"I can't believe it baby, this is so great. I have been wanting to talk to you about moving here but have been scared. I was thinking about putting in a transfer to Phoenix but I couldn't until my residency in done. This is so great, I can't believe it."

Then he turned to us and said,"You guys knew about this didn't you. Is this why you have been avoiding me this week Edward."

"Sorry man, If I told you, Bella would of killed me."

"Heh, thats not fair."

We all laughed and we just enjoyed the news. We all decided to have dinner at our house so Angela can see Lilly again. If I thought I was happy before with marrying Edward, having his baby and being with my family again, it's so much better with having Angela here too. My life is turning out so great. Now all I have to do is convinced my mom and Phil to move here, then everything would be perfect.

**An: I hope this was a good update. I am not sure when the next one will be. Writing about a wedding might be difficult for me right now and if anyone out there wants to help me I would appreciate it. We can collaborate together. You see this past year I have written how my husband hasn't been too well medically. He recently passed away and I am devastated. He was hospitalized and my daughter and I thought he was getting better but his heart rate went down very suddenly and couldn't be revived. I miss him so much it hurts every day. I don't mean to put a downer on everyone but wanted to explain about the next update. Like I said, if anyone wants to help me write the ending to this story, I would appreciate it, otherwise it will be out when I am able to write it. Thanks for all your support.**

**Barb**


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

**I am so sorry for this to be so late but as many of you know that my husband passed away in March of this year and it's been extremely hard for me especially since the ****story is geared around a wedding and happy times for Bella and Edward which it should be. I probably have 1 or 2 more chapters to go. I hope you guys enjoy this and I will try not to wait this long for the next couple of ones. I adore everyone one of you**** and your reviews and I appreciate your patience with my personal issues. I loved my husband dearly and miss him every day.**

**Disclaimer: I am not stephenie meyer and do not own edward, bella or anything twilight.**

I can't believe it's almost March and the time has went by so quickly. After we celebrated Angela getting her job, she found out 2 weeks later she would be in the high school that I was in. I was so ecstatic and since it was around Christmas time when she found out, we did more celebrating.

Christmas,what a great time it was because I had everyone here. It didn't matter what I got everyone and it didn't matter what I got from anyone. All that mattered was I was here with Edward, Lilly, my Dad,Sue, Carlisle,Esme, Emmett,Rose, Alice, Jasper and now Angela and Ben.

Edward and I ended up just getting each other an Ipad3 that we wanted badly. When the iphone 5 comes out, we plan on getting that too. Everyone seemed to enjoy their gifts although most of them got gift cards. We didn't do traditional gift cards though, we got them services they enjoy. For Esme and Carlise and Charlie and Sue we got gift certificates for a cruise which they would definitely have to put more to it. I can't believe my wedding is coming up within a month and everything is working out beautifully. Both of our parents are hanging back in Orlando after our wedding and keeping an eye on Lily for us. I dread when we come back to reality because she will be spoiled rotten on this trip, but she deserves it with everything I put her through. I am just so glad that we are settling down to a life with Edward. That's all I ever dreamed of when I was younger and I can't believe it finally happening for me.

I have been feeling better in the pregnancy and the kids have been so wonderful. They help me get stuff in the classroom and if I drop something, one of them are right there to help me. I told Mr Banner that after I came back from Florida, I would be able to work til end of school year since they get out end of May as long as there are no medical problems. I wasn't too sure about coming back next year so I would have to let him know. He asked me to let him know asap, so he can look for a new teacher for English literature if needed.

Edward has been reaping the benefits of my hormones being so off the wall. I have never been so horny before in my life. I seem to always want his cock whether it's in my mouth and at home inside of me. He basically knows when I want him because he says I get this gleam in my eye. We have to be careful and not get too crazy when Lilly is up.

It's one week prior to us going to Florida. I can't believe I will Mrs Edward Cullen real soon. I have never been at more peace than I have been lately. I am marrying the love of my life, I have all my family and friends nearby and I have made the relationship with my mom so much better. I can't wait to see her when we get to Florida. She is going to meet us there and help do the last minute things. She has helped Alice and Esme so much with planning my wedding and it makes me feel like she really does love me. I still wish she was around more when I was growing up but that is over and done with and I have accepted that.

Things are winding down at school. They have been working on a project and it's almost finished so when I leave for Florida and won't be back for 3 weeks the substitute will work on a totally different subject. When I get back I will have a little over a month left with them and that's it. Edward and I have talked about it and I want to stay home for a while after the baby is born. I may work on my book I have on the back burner for a while. I never mentioned anything to anyone that I really wanted to write a book until Edward found it accidentally on my laptop. I confessed to him I started it a long time ago and forgot about it. I put it on a hard drive so I wouldn't lose it. He told me I could concentrate on it when I am home with the baby. So here I am headed to Mr banner office to give him the news

" Hi Bella come on in."

"Hi Mr Banner, I am here to let you know that I won't be back next year. It has been a tough decision but I have talked to Edward about it and I feel a break would be good for me and the baby when he/she is here. I have been through so much stress beginning of the year with all my personal problems that I just want to sit back and enjoy my family life for a while. I actually may continue on a book I was writing a long time ago. I may be back the following year, I am just not sure. I want you to know that I do want to continue the book club I started for the literature group on the classics. We can meet at my house next year. I always want to help kids realize their potential and delve into the world of reading new experiences."

"Well, I can't say I am not surprised because I didn't think you would come back right away . You are a smart,funny, beautiful women and you deserve all the happiness you have now. I am glad you want to continue the book club because I have gotten so many comments on how well it's improving kids outlook on their life. Parents have called and tell me that their kids sit down with them and talk about the classics and they actually learn a thing or two. It was a wonderful idea that should continue for a long time. "

"Thank you for giving me the opportunity for creating it . I will have my resignation to you tomorrow. I feel really sad about leaving but know its the right thing for me right now. "

"good luck Bella ."  
" thank you."

When Edward came home I was in our room crying. I had dinner warming in the oven but I didn't want to upset Lilly being downstairs.

"baby, what's wrong."

" I told Mr Banner about leaving today and I am just so sad. I will miss the kids so much and being a teacher."

"baby, if you want to stay teaching we can work it out."

"No, Edward I need a break from doing so much. I am getting worn out and I can't keep on doing this. Maybe it's the pregnancy and I will feel different after the baby is born, but I just want to enjoy my family. When Lilly was born I was a mess and trying to go to school and get my degree. I have been working so hard for a long time. I know you have too and that what we have to do when we grow up and maybe I am being selfish but I just need this break."

"Bella , I am completely behind you on needing this break and think it will be a good thing. I know as we get older we are expected to do things but you have had more on your plate than I have. Yes, I went to medical school and did my residency but I didn't have a child to support and take care of. I had a family that supported me and helped me in more ways than one. Maybe I could take a break with you, my boss is saying I am at the hospital too much and I never taken a vacation before this. Do not feel guilty or bad that you need this. I think after the baby is born I will take some time off as well. "

"I love you Edward ."  
"I love you too baby ."

Here we are almost to Florida and I have never been so excited. Lilly got all the work she needed to do while away and I was making sure she did some each day.

Alice and Esme had all the plans together for the wedding and all I had to do was show up. I was grateful for all their help. When we go to Marco island resort it was so beautiful there and amazing. They took us to our room and they had said that the Cullen's have just checked in also. My mom and Phil was coming tomorrow and then two days later I was going to become Mrs Edward Cullen. I still can't believe my dream was coming true.

We all got together for dinner and had a great time. Edward, Lilly and I took a walk on the beach after dinner for a little while but too quickly Lilly got tired and Edward carried her back to our room.

The next day when my mom got there we went over all the arrangements with the resort and followed up with the caterer, floral shop, minister,etc and everything was all set up. All the girls got together for my bachelorette party and since I couldn't drink we didn't go out. We just hung out in Alice's room and played some games and chatted. They had some wine but I didn't drink any and Lilly even stayed up with us as much as she could.

The guys were hanging out in our room and was watching DVD and drinking. We were all sleeping separately which Edward and I hated it. I couldn't believe tomorrow I would be with Edward forever.

The next day Alice woke me up way too early and said we had lots to do.. We had a spa day, appointment at hair salon and then it was Bella Barbie time. I appreciated everything she was doing for me, I was just getting tired of all the attention.

Finally it was almost time for the ceremony, and I couldn't wait until all of this was over and I could just concentrate on being Edward's wife and carrying his baby. I looked out the window and saw how everything was setup and the guys were walking around making sure everything was done. I then saw Edward walked out and he looked so nervous. Emmett and jasper were talking to him and it looked like he calmed down. He looked over to the room I was and I waved. I turned to Alice and rose and said," let get this party started, where is my dress?"

Alice and rose helped me with my dress and before I knew it I was standing with my dad waiting to walk towards my future.  
" I can't believe this is finally coming true, dad."  
" I know baby girl and I am so happy for you."  
" thanks dad, just don't let me fall, please."  
" I got you bells, forever ."

I walked towards Edward and just stared at his eyes until I was there meeting him. The ceremony was wonderful and I felt like I was in a dream. Before the minister announced us husband and wife, Edward said he had an announcement.

" I want to thank everyone for coming and celebrating the love between Bella and I. I can't celebrate without announcing the fact that Lilly is a major part of our love. Lilly,please come up here."  
Lilly walked up and Edward knelt down next to her.  
" Lilly remember when we talked about me adopting you?"  
She nodded.  
" we'll, I want to tell everyone together and especially you and your mom that the paperwork went through and you are officially Lilly Renee Cullen as of today. I also want to present you with a bracelet with the Cullen crest on it. You mom has a necklace and now you have a bracelet and both of you are officially in the Cullen family."

I was speechless, I had no idea he was planning this and I was in tears. Everyone was clapping and as soon as everyone calmed down the minster said,  
" it's my pleasure to announce for the first time, Edward, Bella and Lilly Cullen ."

The three of us walked down the aisle and as soon as we reached the end, I turned to Edward and said,  
" you amaze me everyday and I can't believe you his this from me."  
" I'm sorry baby, but I wanted to surprise both of you."  
" it's the best present ever, thank

"I

"I love you Edward ."  
"I love you too baby ."

Here we are almost to Florida and I have never been so excited. Lilly got all the work she needed to do while away and I was making sure she did some each day.

Alice and Esme had all the plans together for the wedding and all I had to do was show up. I was grateful for all their help. When we go to Marco island resort it was so beautiful there and amazing. They took us to our room and they had said that the Cullen's have just checked in also. My mom and Phil was coming tomorrow and then two days later I was going to become Mrs Edward Cullen. I still can't believe my dream was coming true.

We all got together for dinner and had a great time. Edward, Lilly and I took a walk on the beach after dinner for a little while but too quickly Lilly got tired and Edward carried her back to our room.

The next day when my mom got there we went over all the arrangements with the resort and followed up with the caterer, floral shop, minister,etc and everything was all set up. All the girls got together for my bachelorette party and since I couldn't drink we didn't go out. We just hung out in Alice's room and played some games and chatted. They had some wine but I didn't drink any and Lilly even stayed up with us as much as she could.

The guys were hanging out in our room and was watching DVD and drinking. We were all sleeping separately which Edward and I hated it. I couldn't believe tomorrow I would be with Edward forever.

The next day Alice woke me up way too early and said we had lots to do.. We had a spa day, appointment at hair salon and then it was Bella Barbie time. I appreciated everything she was doing for me, I was just getting tired of all the attention.

Finally it was almost time for the ceremony, and I couldn't wait until all of this was over and I could just concentrate on being Edward's wife and carrying his baby. I looked out the window and saw how everything was setup and the guys were walking around making sure everything was done. I then saw Edward walked out and he looked so nervous. Emmett and jasper were talking to him and it looked like he calmed down. He looked over to the room I was and I waved. I turned to Alice and rose and said," let get this party started, where is my dress?"

Alice and rose helped me with my dress and before I knew it I was standing with my dad waiting to walk towards my future.  
" I can't believe this is finally coming true, dad."  
" I know baby girl and I am so happy for you."  
" thanks dad, just don't let me fall, please."  
" I got you bells, forever ."

I walked towards Edward and just stared at his eyes until I was there meeting him. The ceremony was wonderful and I felt like I was in a dream. Before the minister announced us husband and wife, Edward said he had an announcement.

" I want to thank everyone for coming and celebrating the love between Bella and I. I can't celebrate without announcing the fact that Lilly is a major part of our love. Lilly,please come up here."  
Lilly walked up and Edward knelt down next to her.  
" Lilly remember when we talked about me adopting you?"  
She nodded.  
" Well, I want to tell everyone together and especially you and your mom that the paperwork went through and you are officially Lilly Renee Cullen as of today. I also want to present you with a bracelet with the Cullen crest on it. You mom has a necklace and now you have a bracelet and both of you are officially in the Cullen family."

I was speechless, I had no idea he was planning this and I was in tears. Everyone was clapping and as soon as everyone calmed down the minster said,  
" it's my sincere pleasure to announce for the first time, Edward, Bella and Lilly Cullen ."

The three of us walked down the aisle and as soon as we reached the end, I turned to Edward and said,  
" you amaze me everyday and I can't believe you hid this from me."  
" I'm sorry baby, but I wanted to surprise both of you."  
" it's the best present ever, thanks."  
Then we were kissing and I heard some music start for the reception .

**I know there was not really a lemon here but I will try for the next chapter. **

**Love ya all,**

**Barb**


End file.
